3 Month Old Wake Windows
Today, we talk about 3-month-old wake windows, including what they are and why you need to know about them.
If your baby is a little younger, we also have a blog on 2 month old sleep schedule which you may be interested in reading. Or, if your baby is slightly older, or you want to be prepared for the next month, we also have a blog on 4 month old wake windows.
What is a Wake Window?
A wake window is the amount of time your baby can stay awake between sleeps without becoming overtired.
If your baby becomes overtired, it can be much harder for them to settle and stay asleep, so it’s a good idea to be aware of age-appropriate wake windows, even from an early age.
Every baby will be slightly different, some will be able to cope with a longer wake window, whereas some will become tired quicker.
This is why wake windows should be seen as a guide, whilst also keeping an eye out for your baby’s sleepy cues.
The first sign of tiredness we would be looking for is gaze aversion; if your baby is engaged, looking at you and smiling then suddenly won’t make eye-contact any more, it’s a sign they are starting to get tired.
Many parents make the mistake of waiting until their baby is yawning or rubbing their eyes to try and get them to sleep, but these are actually later tired signs so really we want to pre-empt these and start getting your little one to sleep before they happen.
When Should I Start Using a Wake Window?
You’ll probably find that when your baby is born, they cannot stay awake for more than a few minutes without becoming sleepy again. Your baby will not develop their circadian rhythm (which is their internal body clock) until around 6-8 weeks old, so they will not know the difference between day and night.
Exposure to daylight during the day and keeping things dark with little interaction at night can help to encourage this.
As their circadian rhythm develops, you’ll find that your baby does start having more predictable stretches of sleep at night and slightly longer periods of awake time during the day – it’s then that I recommend you start keeping a closer eye on their wake windows.
What Are Sleep Cues to Look Out For?
You may have heard the term ‘follow your babies sleep cues’ and you might be wondering what it means. Basically, these are signs your baby is tired and is ready for a nap. The types of sleep cues your baby can have are:
- Yawning
- Rubbing eyes
- Jerky body movements
- Disengaged
- Staring in to a blank space
- Rubbing head
- Closing their fists
if your baby is showing sleep cues but fighting sleep, it can be frustrating. We have an article called Why Does My Baby Fight Sleep to help you get to the bottom of why your baby might be fighting sleep.
Why is the Wake Window at 3 Months Old Important?
Often new parents have no idea that most babies don’t just fall asleep when they’re tired.
A newborn in particular will need a lot of support and assistance to go to sleep, such as rocking or being fed to sleep.
Following wake windows allows your baby to fall asleep in their ‘sweet spot’, meaning they’re more likely to settle peacefully and easily.
If the amount of time your baby spends awake between sleeps is too long then they will start to form a sleep debt.
If this happens multiple times a day, by the evening there is going to be quite a build-up of tiredness.
Often this presents itself in your baby as fussiness, crying and being very unsettled – you may have heard of the ‘witching hour’ which is usually blamed on colic, but actually for many babies it’s not colic at all, it’s a build-up of overtiredness that’s to blame for the fussy behaviour!
What are my Baby’s Wake Windows at 3 Months Old?
Generally speaking, babies younger than 4 weeks old can only manage around 30 minutes awake without needing to sleep again. By 8 weeks this extends to a maximum of 60 minutes, then by 3 months most babies can cope with up to 1.5 hours of awake time between sleeps. It’s very common to find that your baby needs less awake time in the morning and for wake windows to extend slightly as the day goes on, with the longest being the stretch between their final nap and bedtime.
Please remember, this is just a guide. If your baby shows tired signs earlier, then it’s better to get them to sleep before they become overtired as settling them will be more of a challenge. Also, if your baby was born prematurely, you should follow wake windows based on their due date, particularly in the first few months.
What are Babies Wake Windows Depending on Age?
You may have a baby that is younger or older than 3 months old. If so, you can find the length of your baby’s wake window in the guide below:
- 0- 4 Weeks Old: Multiple naps and an average wake window length of 30 minutes
- 1 Month Old: Multiple naps and an average wake window length of 1 hour.
- 2 Months Old: 4 naps and an average wake window length of 60 – 75 minutes.
- 3 Months Old: 4 naps and an average wake window length of 60 – 90 minutes.
- 4-6 Months Old: 3 naps and an average wake window length of 1 hour 45 minutes.
- 6-9 Months Old: 2-3 naps and an average wake window length of 2-3 hours.
- 9-12 Months Old: 2 naps and an average wake window length of 2-3 hours.
- 1 Year Old: 1-2 naps and an average wake window length of 3-4 hours.
- 18 Months Old: 1 naps and an average wake window length of 6 hours.
It is important to remember that babies are unpredictable and they go through many things that may interrupt their usual routine. It is important that, when this happens, you keep an eye on your babies sleep cues so you can make sure you know exactly what they need.
Find out about wake windows by age.
Should I Start a Nap Routine at 3 Months Old?
At this age, sleep is still quite disorganised so it’s unlikely any two days are going to be exactly the same.
It’s tempting to want to get into a set routine as things can feel a little chaotic, but please do not feel you need to put any pressure on yourself or your baby.
It’s very common at this age for babies to take short naps, to need assistance in order to get to sleep and to want very close contact.
Although we would want your baby to get a good amount of daytime sleep, the length and timing of their naps doesn’t really matter.
Right now, it is far more important that your little one doesn’t become overtired because that’s what will potentially make them fight sleep later on.
I recommend following your child’s wake windows and sleepy cues, getting to know when their sweet spot is and taking each day as it comes.
By around 5 months, you’ll probably find that a 3-nap schedule starts to form quite naturally and then you can start to follow more of a set routine if you wish.
How Long Should My Three-Month-Old Nap For?
At 3 months, naps will vary from baby to baby and will last anything from 30 minutes to 2 hours. Generally speaking, a baby of this age needs around 4 hours of daytime sleep in total.
You’ll probably find that your baby will nap far longer in your arms or when there is motion involved (such as a sling, pram or car) than if you place them down in a static sleep space such as their cot or crib.
Sleep is such a vulnerable state, we all need to feel safe, secure and relaxed in order to nod off and it’s no different for your baby.
They are going to feel safest in your arms so are most likely going to sleep longer there. There’s also the primal instinct that our young need to be close to us for safety and this in-built instinct dates back to prehistoric times when being separated from your young meant they would be in danger.
We know that in the modern world, our baby’s sleep space is safe, secure and they’ll come to no harm there, but their instinct will be telling them otherwise and they’ll be able to sense they have been moved away from you even when they are asleep – it’s actually very clever!
Another factor influencing nap length is that, if your baby falls asleep snug in your arms, they see that as the place they fall asleep.
If you then place them down into their cot already asleep, when they rouse, they will wake up fully wondering where you are. Whereas, if they rouse and they’re still snug in your arms, right where they fell asleep initially, they are more likely to snuggle back down with some soothing from you and drift back off into the next sleep cycle (meaning a longer nap!)
You may have heard the phrase ‘never wake a sleeping baby’ but I don’t believe you should follow this in all circumstances. Yes, if your baby is sick or seems very tired, let them sleep, but please bear in mind that all babies have a ceiling limit for how much sleep they can have within a 24-hour period.
If you let your baby sleep all day or for long periods of the day, not only will they not get the exposure to daylight they need to consolidate their circadian rhythm, but it’s also likely you’ll get some periods of wakefulness during the night instead – which I’m sure you want to avoid!
It’s for this reason that I advise capping any daytime naps to 2 hours maximum.
Should I Encourage My 3 Month Old Fall Asleep Independently?
Firstly, don’t feel any pressure to do this if you don’t want to! If you are enjoying the cuddles that contact napping brings then feel free to continue doing that. If you are assisting your baby to sleep by cuddling, feeding or rocking and that’s working for you then by all means carry on. Many families help their baby to fall asleep and get a good night’s sleep.
However, if assisting your baby to sleep becomes unmanageable, isn’t working any more and they aren’t getting good quality sleep, then it’s probably going to be a priority to start encouraging them to sleep independently.
Often families reach out to me for help with this because they have another child to look after and want their hands free, or they’re returning to work and would like to be able to put their baby down… or simply because they want some time to themselves without a baby in their arms!
All of these are valid reasons for wanting to teach your baby to settle independently and often self-settling IS the key to a better night’s sleep.
It is not recommended that you use any formal sleep training methods until your baby reaches 18 weeks of age, however there are gentle, bespoke techniques you can use to encourage your baby to settle.
How can I Introduce Independent Sleep to my 3 Month Old?
I recommend starting by making sure your baby has a full tummy and is winded really well; a baby who is hungry or has trapped gas is not going to settle or stay asleep. At first, it’s about your little one becoming comfortable in their sleep space and practicing falling asleep with support from you.
Don’t expect it to be a success every time you try – remember any exposure to their sleep space is a good thing, even if it’s just a few minutes! Teaching self-settling can feel overwhelming, particularly if you are sleep deprived, so I recommend either practicing at bedtime or for the first nap of the day.
These are the easiest times of day to practice and will give your baby the best opportunity to fall asleep with decreased assistance – it is very common for naps to become more challenging as the day goes on because there is less sleep pressure at play helping your baby to fall asleep.
When you feel ready to practice, pop your baby down awake and wait a few seconds. If your baby is content and happy, leave them and observe – they may just surprise you, have a little wriggle and start to nod off! If they don’t, apply firm pressure to their chest and add a slow, repetitive ‘shh’ until their eyes start to close, then you can gently ease off. You can also apply slight pressure to the top of their head with your other hand as this helps them to feel secure.
Of course, not all babies will respond in the same way to settling techniques and often a bespoke approach is needed.
It is worth exploring which form of touch your baby enjoys; some prefer to be patted and others like to be stroked. Do what works for your baby to support them whilst they learn to fall asleep in their sleep space.
Can You Stretch Out Wake Windows?
It seems logical to think that if you keep your baby awake for longer, they will sleep better because they’ll be more tired, but actually the opposite is true.
As I’ve already mentioned, overtired babies often find it harder to settle because their body starts to produce cortisol (which acts like a shot of adrenaline to keep them awake). It also means that they are more restless and likely to wake after a short period too.
This is why it’s not a good idea to try and ‘push’ your baby to have longer wake windows. Follow your baby’s cues, keep an eye on wake windows and get them prepared so that they are asleep at the end of the wake window.
What Are The Benefits of Using Wake Windows?
There are so many benefits of using wake windows some of which are:
- Helps your little one get the right amount of sleep without being overtired
- Helps you understand your babies needs
- Helps your little one towards sleeping through the night.
Do wake windows change every month?
Throughout the first year of your baby’s life, it can feel like their wake windows are changing constantly. There are no rules as to when you have to extend your baby’s wake windows, but if your baby has had the same wake windows for a few weeks, and they start resisting naps or it is taking longer to settle them, it could be time to consider adding an extra 10 minutes to the window. If you baby settles to sleep easily but suddenly starts taking short naps and is waking up in a happy, content mood, it’s possible that they haven’t built enough sleep pressure before their nap and they may need more awake time – they’re ready for their wake window to extend a bit!
Do newborns have wake windows?
As I already mentioned, very young babies tend to be quite sleepy and will drift in and out of sleep all day long. It’s very unlikely that a baby who is younger than 4 weeks old can manage more than about 30 minutes of awake time without needing to sleep again.
If my baby is crying in sleep could that be down to wake windows?
Young babies are very noisy sleepers, I remember feeling like I had a little piglet in the bassinette next to me when my daughter was first born! They spend a lot of time in active sleep so will wriggle, grunt, moan, thrash, cry out and even open their eyes during sleep – this behaviour is completely normal and nothing to worry about if there are no other health concerns. However, if your baby is crying out continuously or very frequently in their sleep, or is particularly restless, it can be a sign of overtiredness. If you think this is the case for your baby then it could be either that wake windows are too long and need to be reduced, or that they are not getting enough daytime sleep.
Lindsey Clark, BA (Hons), QTS, is a Baby, Child & Autism Sleep Specialist and Founder of Peaceful Sleep Secrets. Based in Hampshire, England, she has been working with young children and babies her whole life and is a former deputy headteacher of a large infant school. After having her own children, who both struggled with sleep, Lindsey retrained as a sleep consultant and launched her own sleep consultancy. Her expert knowledge and first-hand experience mean she is able to support families using gentle, bespoke approaches so that babies and children get long-lasting quality sleep. She has successfully helped improve sleep for hundreds of families worldwide through her 1-1 packages, group support programs, courses and workshops.