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Bad parenting signs – 10 signs to look out for

Unfortunately, when you become a parent there is no handbook included. Being a good parent is something you learn as you go along. A question that goes through a lot of parent’s mind is “Will I be a good parent?” to which I always respond “if you are asking that question then I would say your already part of the way there” because the parent is already showing that they care. We all want our children to have the correct balance of morals, values and discipline but, unfortunately, our children will test us along the way and it is important not to give in to their every need and tantrum.

It is important to remember that you will meet plenty of opinionated mothers and fathers along the way, and every parent’s opinions on how to raise a child will be different- but this does not mean that you are doing it wrong.

 

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What is bad parenting?

The idea of what “bad parenting” is varies between families, but we can all agree that domestic violence, neglect, emotional abuse and sexual abuse are definite and extreme forms of bad parenting and should be dealt with by professionals.

If you are reading this, and you are concerned that you are a bad parent: the very fact that you are worrying about your parenting style is a good sign that you are not a bad parent.

We all have our bad moments- whether it be yelling at our child too harshly in a moment of stress, or perhaps saying something in front of your child which you shouldn’t have said- but that doesn’t make you a bad parent.

Below are 10 likely signs of bad parenting.

The 8 Likely Signs of Bad Parenting

 1 – Rules – What rules?

A household where kids have little or no discipline is a recipe for disaster. Children need to learn what is right and what is wrong and it important to implement this in to their every day lives. When children are not disciplined, and are left to their own devices to determine wrong from right and dangerous from safe, it can result in injuries- or prevent your child from being able to understand rules.

Children need defined boundaries and consquences if those boundaries are crossed with negative behavior.

2 – Too much discipline

When the rules and expectations you enforce are far too strict, it may negatively impact your child and lead to behavioral problems. It is important to offer some laxity on the rules from time to time, when necessary, so that your child’s thoughts and needs feel validated and well received.

The forms of discipline you use are also very important.

You should never use physical violence, or perform any punishments which involve withholding affection. Physical punishment and withholding affection are methods of discipline which can leave a lasting negative impact on your child- and may even lead to psychological disorders, like anxiety and depression.

Good examples of discipline would be a “time-out” on the naughty step for younger children.

2 – Over-Involvement

An over-involved parent, also known as a helicopter parent, is a form of poor parenting. Being over-involved in your child’s life can prevent your child from learning. Children need room to explore and figure out right from wrong for themselves, and this is usually done by making mistakes. After all, a common saying is to “learn from your mistakes”. If you are trying to assist your child excessively in their day-to-day lives, you will hinder their personal growth and prevent them from learning important lessons.

Parents who try to perform this particular parenting style may also feel more stressed.

4 – Not Enough Quality Time

Yes, children love you buying them treats, but children love talking and communicating with you too! Spending quality time with your child is very important. I remember my dad used to pick me up from school every Friday and we would go walking along the beach together and talking about our week and I loved it. When I look back at when I was younger these were my memories and not the things my dad bought me. If you do not spend time with your child, your child is likely to act up in other ways to get attention.

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5 – Treating others badly

Your child watches you and how you interact with other people. It is important to speak nicely to your partner and other elders in front of your child. If you speak badly to others, then your child will believe that this is acceptable and children need to respect their elders.

6 – Giving your child everything

It is important to teach your child that in life, not everything will be handed to them. It is important to teach them the idea of “no” at a young age, so they do not become self-entitled or rude adults.

7 – Shaming

Shaming your child, either in public or in private, can destroy your child’s confidence and lead to a fear of failure and perfectionism. Shaming children can often lead to anxiety and depression- with low self confidence being a large part.

8- Underinvolvement

An underinvolved parent is a parent who does not actively show an interest in their child, doesn’t provide discipline or guidance and shows little to no affection towards their child. Underinvolvement in your child’s life can hinder your child’s development, and it is also considered a form of child abuse.

The Impact of Bad Parenting

Emotional and Behavioral Issues

Strict and rigid discipline (involving physical or verbal threats or abuse), shaming, and lack of involvement with your child can all lead to emotional and behavioral issues. This can involve anger issues, or refusing to follow instructions.

Needing Validation

Shaming your child, or being far too strict or rigid with the rules, can result in them constantly needing outside validation from others and can result in extensive anxious, or even controlling, behaviors.

Negative Self-Image

Shaming your child or withholding compassion as a form of punishment can lead to your child having a negative self-image. Shame is amongst the worst negative emotions and can alter your perception of yourself in a negative way. Shaming your child as a form of punishment can have severe, lasting consequences on your child’s self esteem and mental health.

 

For more support you can speak any of our listed parent coaches

 

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what other mybump2baby mums are saying;

“Bad parenting is easy done, when a child’s behavior is challenging most parents struggle and can develop bad parenting skills. Sometimes children’s behavior can affect our mental health and although we long to be be a “better parent” it is a real struggle. The parenting journey is a struggle from start to finish and the fact it can have a serious impact on your child makes it even more difficult as parents.”

“For years we felt like bad parents with my son, we really struggle sticking to negative outcomes especially when he kicked out and hit us. Many parents struggle with parenting but the way that helped in the end is a positive style of parenting, it is easy to lost it when ou are overly stressed but good parenting is about learning, no one is born a “good parent”