Forgive Me…. For Being a Grumpy Cow at Times
So the other day… My husband Danny came home from work… he was very quiet and I could tell he was a little stressed about work. We eventually spoke about it and I tried to explain.. that I too, had had a stressful day but then he just looked at me and nodded and I could tell he was thinking “yeah right”… I’m pretty sure that he seems to think that all i do all day is drink coffee.. sit on my ass, watch Jeremy Kyle and catch up with my girls.
What you men don’t realise is although us ladies are entirely grateful for you… the male specimens stepping out to work… sometimes we are just absolutely, whole-heartedly, damn right jealous.
You men get up in the morning… have your breakfast, brew and poo in peace, followed by a hot shower… Whereas I actually stink of vomit, poo and wee 99 per cent of the time… and it’s not even my own!!!! I have to have my hair slick back in a bun… not the lovely messy buns you see other ladies rocking… it’s more like a Miss Trunchbull from Matilda kind of bun .. why??? Because my hair is bloody disgusting and i don’t have time to wash it. You men drive off to work listening to music and think.. whilst us mummies listen to a mix of baby tv.. and our babies screaming. You casually walk into work … whilst we can’t even walk across the road on our own anymore.
Yeah sure …we do see our girlfriends and that’s great but we don’t even manage to have a normal conversation. It consists of me asking my girls the question “Soooo what have you been up to?” then the response is often “GET OFF THAT” “DON’T DO THAT” “GET BACK HERE NOW” then I spend most of the time in the baby change.. with a perfectly timed shit. I often walk away from a Nero with my friends wondering what on earth we actually spoke about… and if I even know anything about them anymore. Adult conversations … what are they???
Once i get home.. I quickly run round the house like a dick head whilst the little munchkin is sleeping… picking up all the crap that was left out from your breakfast in the morning and all the plates left over from tea the night before. Then the monster arises… and you come home in a stinker… so forgive me for being a grumpy cow at times.. but i’ve had a stressful day too.