My routine and I
Am sat here on my sun lounger toddler free for once. A rare hour where I don’t have little sticky hands on my lap or the never ending but gone too quickly, (I hear) “Mummy, Mummy, MUMMY!”
It’s glorious sunshine in Crete and Francis is off playing with Daddy in the pool. It’s 1pm and nearly lunchtime. It should be time for lunch but I’m relaxing and haven’t thought too much about timings or schedules since we’ve been here.
It makes think about the frantic, strict and stressed timetable I once ran (attempted to run) when Francis was much, much smaller. I was obsessed with how much he ate, how much and when he slept, how often he had his milk and what times he breastfed. It seems such a long time ago but it was the only control, it seems I had back then, that I could cling on to.
Out of nowhere
Postnatal depression crept up on me like a shadow without any of us noticing. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t comfort my baby (I didn’t want to either), I was angry and tired and had no patience for this tiny human who needed me 24/7.
I clung to the timetable like it was all I had to keep me afloat. Plunging into motherhood from a seriously organised, efficient and successful career; a to do list and schedule was important, to me, to keep me going. It seems dramatic but for anyone that’s been through this you might feel some resonance with this.
Getting out
Getting out of the house after breakfast became a ritual. I’d push the pram for miles and miles so Francis would sleep at the time I’d allotted. Thinking back now he was a little baby. They’re not robots. They sleep and eat when they want to. I know that now, but I still, and Daddy still, has to remind me. (Francis, in fact has gone back to having a nap in Crete this week (a mixture of the heat and the 9pm kids disco and later bedtime). I’m cool with it now but it’s a long way from where I started.)
My days became almost military, sprinkled with happy little smiles and times when I could nap. I tried my best to “do it” right (whatever that is!) but I was also learning to be content and calmer with a routine. I started attending swimming classes with Francis, baby sensory filled the Friday mornings and a trip on the train to see Daddy for lunch once a week filled the days. It sounds almost sad to say I was filling the days. I look back now feeling a bit cheated that I didn’t enjoy them more and was almost wishing them away. But I have to tell you the truth.
Playgroups and classes and trips and coffees and play dates and visits to the park ARE SO IMPORTANT for mums and their little ones. I had to get out of the house. I had to meet others for a break, a moan, even a cry and a laugh!
I didn’t read any of the parenting books (I think I downloaded the Annabelle Karmel weaning book on the kindle and it remains unread). Instead I talked and listened, and yes, compared myself and my boy to other mums and their children at classes. Who doesn’t? But what was vital was getting out and not being on my own staring at the same four walls, breastfeeding.
The new “job”: good for me and good for others
It’s why Splat Messy Play appealed to me when looking for a new venture (Francis is now three). I’m on month three of this new “job” and it honestly doesn’t feel as daunting as any new direction I’ve undertaken. And there’s one sole reason for that. I don’t want to sound arrogant or tell you that I’ve found the silver bullet to cure any anxious parents or even cure myself. However, in providing messy play in East Cheshire I’m allowing:
It’s why Splat Messy Play appealed to me when looking for a new venture (Francis is now three). I’m on month three of this new “job” and it honestly doesn’t feel as daunting as any new direction I’ve undertaken. And there’s one sole reason for that. I don’t want to sound arrogant or tell you that I’ve found the silver bullet to cure any anxious parents or even cure myself. However, in providing messy play in East Cheshire I’m allowing:
- parents an hour to chat with other like-minded mums who adore their children and want them to try something new
- mums a space to chat, laugh, moan, we’ve even had any few tears recently. All are welcome as the children play happily in the mess and we have five mins to catch up and calm down!
- babies and toddlers to explore, create, taste, play and get messy with sand, gloop, slime and crafts which they might not do at home.
- myself a job that let’s me do all of the above and still have time for ice cream at the park, at whatever time of day, and snacks before bed.
Thankfully my life is much calmer and relaxed now.
It’s almost 2pm now so I should really take Francis for some lunch.
How’s that for off timetable!?
How’s that for off timetable!?
If you’d like to try out one of my classes feel free to get in touch at www.facebook.com/rachaelsplatmessyp… or email [email protected]
Northerner & mum talking all things baby & toddler; how to survive motherhood & playgroups, party planning, weaning, potty training and all thing messy!
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