Redundant Mum

Fifty Shades of Motherhood

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Featuring

  • Redundant Mum

“You will look back and…realise this was the turning point for you” Carla is joined this week by Amy Downes, from Content Planning Wizard, who discusses being made redundant whilst pregnant. She discusses how she coped with having to start again whilst being a mum and shares advice for other mums who have found themselves in this situation.

Here are Amy’s social links:

https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/contentplanningwizard/

https://mailchi.mp/07cafb123753/content-planning-wizards-monthly-newsletter

https://www.instagram.com/mumfullofdreams/

Follow the link below to explore the Charity Amy mentions in today’s episode:

https://pregnantthenscrewed.com

 

Carla: This podcast is sponsored by My Bump 2 Baby family protection and legal directory. To find your nearest advisor or family law, solicitor, head over to www.mybump2baby.com/familyprotectionlegal. 

[00:00:21] Do you love the idea of being your own boss? What about saving money on childcare? Because you can actually work flexibly around your family.

[00:00:33] My Bump 2 Baby is rapidly expanding, and we are looking for people to run their own pregnancy to preschool hubs in their local area. Full training is provided, ongoing mentor support, fantastic regular team incentives. A bonus scheme, uncapped commission. Review products for free and review days out too.

[00:01:02] If you are interested in being the, My Bump 2 Baby manager for your local area. Email us [email protected] Limited space available.

[00:01:32] Hello, and welcome to 50 shades of motherhood, uncensored, unhinged and unapologetic. Guilt-free, real, raw mum chats with me, your host, Carla Lett over-sharer and founder of my bump to baby. The UKs leading pregnancy to preschool directory.

[00:02:13] This week, I am talking to mum of two Amy Downes, and we’re going to be talking all about her story of losing her job during pregnancy. I hope you enjoy this episode.

[00:02:43] Hello everybody. And welcome to this week’s episode of 50 shades of motherhood. This week, we have the lovely Amy Downes from Content Planning Wizard, and she is going to be sharing her story about being made redundant while she was pregnant. So, hello, Amy, how are you?

[00:03:05]Amy:  Hi. Lovely. Thank you so much for having me on again.

[00:03:06] Carla: I’ve been looking forward to catching up with you again. I have, and it’s really strange because me and Amy speak quite a lot and we’ve not spoken for, for a good while have we Amy we’ve just not had a chance. 

[00:03:19] Amy: No, it’s the pressures of getting back into the new normal again, isn’t it with school, both our boys have just started schools, so there’s all of that routine to try and fit in. And actually like now they’re at school it’s Oh yeah, we can get on with our work. So you feel like you’ve got to earn your pay now don’t you.

[00:03:34] Carla: Oh I know and this school like, do you know I’m not getting used to it at all. It reminds me of what it was like when I was at school and the only the other morning George’s homework was due. And I thought I’d done it all. And I thought I’ll just have one last check anywhere. Noticed a page that I hadn’t even done. So there, I was like, quickly, just like writing it all, George, do this, do that. It was like, mummy, we should have done this properly. I was like, I know, I know, but it’s just everything. I mean, it’s just so stressful. And the other day, poor kid got sent in his school uniform. It was PE day. And I was like, Oh, I only realized when I picked him up and I was like, Oh my God. So I’m slowly, getting there, I mean, it’s been a month, so hopefully by Christmas. I’ll, I’ll get in a good routine with it. How are you finding it ?

[00:04:25]Amy:  Yeah, it’s Harry is enjoying it, which is the most important thing cause there’s always a lot of nerves when your child first starts school, isn’t there about whether they’ll, whether they’ll be intimidated or whether they’ll just not want to be there, but he loves it. Like he literally, I drop him off in the morning and his teachers like say goodbye to mummy and he’s already gone. He’s in the classroom having fun, he’s fine. But we’ve had a real mess of like, you’re right. We’ve been back a month, but actually this week I think is the first full week that Harry has had in because we’ve had to isolate twice. So it’s just been ridiculous. Cause we had, um, he had a cough. Um, he was absolutely fine.

[00:05:05] Um, but we are, obviously we have to isolate and get the test, his brother, his younger brother, James, is one and he had a temperature. He had to come home from nursery cause he had the temperature. I swear to God he had the temperature for like an hour.  And he got home and he was playing in the garden, like grinning at me, like whats all the fuss about mummy. So I was fuming, but because he’d had to come home from nursery, we had to get the test. And so we had two weeks separately off isolating because waiting for test results. And then last week I had to take Harry to the hospital for a dermatology appointment. So that wasn’t a full week either.

[00:05:40] So it’s been a bit of a sort of slow. Integration into school life for us. Cause we haven’t really got into the routine, but we are now I just find the morning drop-offs are an absolute pain aren’t they school run mums now.

[00:05:54]Carla:  I know that’s it. And the thing is Amy, like with all that, that you’re talking about there, if you were employed and your to be in a workplace, I mean that, you know, that would be an issue I’m sure. Um, even though they don’t say it. A lot of mums would find that that’s a bit of an awkward conversation. One child is like ill one week. Then another. And it’s just, I mean, obviously it happens, but, um, but when you’re employed, it’s a bit difficult, isn’t it? 

[00:06:20] Amy: Definitely. Well, I live in Leeds. Um, we’re just outside Leeds in a town called Pudsy and if I were to be working in the town centre, I can’t drop Harry off until nine. So I wouldn’t be able to get into Leeds until 10 and then I’d have to leave at least two o’clock to be able to make sure I’m at home in time. So I only have four hours in the office, so you’d only be getting like half days in. Because of school drop-off so I know we’ll talk about it a bit later on, but thank God for flexible working. And like the joy of being able to work from home is that I’ve got a 10 minute walk to school and then I can be back on my laptop by 10 past nine. And everything’s fine. But absolutely. I can’t imagine how hard it is for people who are having to go into the office. And you’ve got the shorter school days at the moment because of COVID restrictions. It’s crazy.

[00:07:09]Carla:  It really is. I know it really is. And you just feel guilty, I imagine, but we’ll get all onto this, um, as the episode progresses, but Amy, so tell us where you were, um, when you were pregnant, um, what, what happened to you?

[00:07:27] Amy: So I I’m taking us right back to the, very beginning of the story. Um, five years ago, actually, um, my partner and I got together and we were, we were set up, it was my best mate. Um, I, where I used to work said to me, Oh, my. Boyfriend at the time works with this guy called Luke. I think you’d really like him. And they spent ages trying to set us up and I was just like, no, no, I’m enjoying being single. I’m fine. I’m fine. And then they invited him out on a night out that we were on and, um, we got the train back together and we chatted and we had a really nice time. So we did end up dating, um, which was really nice.

[00:08:05] But anyway, uh, we. I never know how to phrase this because I worry what people are going to think, but unexpectedly fell pregnant, um, within like a month of knowing each other and seeing each other, and it was all like very scary, very like, lots of pressure. So, bye. By Christmas of 2015, I had just found out that I was pregnant and, um, Luke was amazing about it. And we both knew that we really wanted kids. It was even though we hadn’t been seeing each other very long, we, um, we had discussed that actually we both really wanted kids. So it wasn’t like that scary decision of whether to go ahead or not, because we knew that actually this is something we both want.

[00:08:46] So yeah, we are going to have, have the baby and, um, for me, I was finally after like a decade of trying to get a stable job. I was finally in a job that I enjoyed it to an extent, I think there were, I’m not going to lie. There were parts of it that I wasn’t, that weren’t going, how I wanted it to. I wasn’t quite sure it was where I wanted to be for the rest of my life. It was a stable, decent paid job, and that I felt secure in. And, um, so when I found out I was pregnant, one of the things I thankfully didn’t have to worry about was whether I was going to be able to provide for my child because this company, um, I believe they did a six month full paid maternity leave, which was amazing. That’s a lot more than a lot of companies offer. So I was like, I’m going to be fine. I’m going to take the full year off. I’ll be absolutely fine. Um, Then we both went into the new year and at this company, unfortunately they do make redundancies every so often. And it was just something that happened within the business because you know, certain departments would need streamlining. And we knew that it was coming to our department, but because I wasn’t on a huge amount, I never, I naively never, ever, ever thought it would be something that would impact me. Um, I thought it would be, you know, the managers above me, the ones that were on more money than me. I didn’t really didn’t think losing someone who was on 23 K a year was going to make that much difference to that.

[00:10:13] But, um, but they, so we knew that redundancies were coming and then on the morning where it was happening,

[00:10:20]Carla:  Were they aware Amy of your pregnancy at this point or?

[00:10:23]Amy:  No, they weren’t to be fair to them. So we, um, I, on the day that I lost my job, I was 10 weeks pregnant. Um, so it was the case of. Funnily enough I’d had a conversation with my best mate the week before saying, I didn’t know whether I should let them know about the pregnancy. Um, Because we knew that the redundancies were coming up and I was just like, well, should I tell them, or should I not? And the main reason I wanted to tell them tell them was we had this big conference coming up and I didn’t want to be like lifting things cause I was pregnant, but I didn’t, but I knew it would be suss if I wasn’t carrying chairs and moving objects about and things like that, getting ready for this conference, I thought, well, I really should tell them what’s happening.

[00:11:04] And I debated whether to let them know or not. And I thought, well, no, I’m not ready to tell everybody. Yeah, I don’t, I don’t want to let people know. So I’ll hold off until the 12 week scan as so many people do. And, um, so on the day that it happens, I, they didn’t know. Um, I made sure they knew once they handed me the Brown envelope, I can tell you that, the, my manager came to get me and he put his hand on my shoulder and he was, he was really sweet. Um, as he sort of took me into the room where they were, they talked to you and he said, Amy, everything will be all right. You’re great. I know you’ll be all right. And I was just like, yeah, I looked at him and I was like you honestly have no idea. And I like, literally you have no idea because he didn’t know I was pregnant. I was like, when you realize just what a massive thing this is for me, you’re going to feel so guilty because it, it was an added level. If I hadn’t been pregnant, I would have been able to step straight back into another job. But because I was pregnant, I, I really struggled to find any more work. So in that moment, when they told me I’d lost my job, I was massively like, I remember I sort of like I couldn’t see straight. I was feeling really dizzy. Um, my. My mates took me around the corner to go and get a cup of tea and like calm down and make sure I was okay. And I remember ringing Luke and to say all I could say to them, I think I messaged him on WhatsApp because I couldn’t get anything out in an answer machine message. And I just said, it’s me. Um,  I just didn’t know how to word, like what the fuck has just happened. I’ve gone into this room and, and that’s it. My, my secure job that I thought, you know, I’m just going to stick around for this for a while. While I had the baby and get things settled, it was gone. It was all that security was gone.

[00:12:54] Carla: It’s scary as well, because I suppose you’re quite early in your relationship as well. And it’s like all that added pressure that you probably felt. Guilty on Luke, but even though it’s not your fault. But, Oh God, I just, yeah, cause it’s just getting it another job isn’t it as well. And actually that is a long time to be off work, maternity leave and all the way up to maternity leave.

[00:13:18] Amy: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Well, I started, I, I remember I took a couple of weeks out. I went home and home on the day and I, when I rang Luke, I said to him, I just, I don’t think I can go back to my flat. Um, so I have my own one bed flat and Pudsy, and I was like, I don’t think I can go back because that’s where. That’s where, like I was picturing my future being that’s where I was going to build up my career. That was where I was going to start living this really great life that I had planned for myself. And suddenly in the space of a month, I’d gone from being single, dating a guy, having fun, going to the football most weekends too okay. I’m pregnant. I don’t know where I’m going to live because I don’t, I’m not going to have any money coming in. I don’t know what we’re going to do for work. Like I literally suddenly this future that I’d got mapped out and excited about had just completely gone. So for so many people, it’s normally, you know, it’s an amazing thing. When you get pregnant, it’s something to celebrate. It’s something to enjoy. But for me, it was just dread. And then this piled on top of it just, it felt like. I sort of lost my way. Um, I remember writing about it and I said it felt like I’d got off the train and like the world, the rest of the world was this train that I’d been kicked off while that train carried on. So it felt like the rest of the world was moving, but I was just sat in a space, not knowing where to turn from that point. It was, it was so overwhelming. So I, um, I went back to my flat, I got my Poldark box set and my, uh, my favourite Teddy bear. And I went back to, I went to Lukes flat instead. Cause I couldn’t even go and have a drink.

[00:15:01] Carla: Oh yeah God

[00:15:02] Amy: Which was the worst bit about it.

[00:15:05] Carla: Oh God. Yeah, that, that is really difficult. I mean, do you think if you had, have told them that you were pregnant, they would have been forced almost to keep you, um, not forced. I know. That sounds bad, but I mean, almost because there’s this stigma around making people that are pregnant redundant, um, what, what do you think would have happened?

[00:15:29] Amy: Well, you’re legally not allowed to, um, make women redundant if they’re pregnant. Um, But you can sort of not the loop hole, but the stipulation of that is you can’t make them redundant because they’re pregnant. And so had they known, I spoke to my solicitor about it and he, he said to me that, um, If they had known, we would have had to prove that the reason they chose me was because I was pregnant, but actually, because it was such a, there was a lot of us that lost our jobs that day. So because of that, it wasn’t a discrimination. Like there wasn’t a case for discrimination. Um, so. But I know that there are a lot of women that are in that position and are in that position at the moment where they are being singled out for redundancy because they’re pregnant.

[00:16:19]Carla:  Or they are mums.

[00:16:22]Amy:  Yes.

[00:16:22] Carla: There’s a lot of that at the moment. It’s um, exactly. I’ve seen, um, a lot social media where, you know, obviously schools are closing mums. It’s often I say it’s mums, but it’s often mums that have to go, pick the child up or, take time off work. It’s not always the case, but that is often the case. And I do think that that is the hardest thing, because a lot of companies at the moment are saying, they’re going to be making people redundant and as a woman, and you shouldn’t feel like this, but as a mum you’d feel like, well, I’m going to be first because I’m almost more, I’m more of a liability to be off with my children, you know?

[00:17:02] Amy: Yep. Yeah. Agreed. Absolutely. Definitely. I think that people could say there are quite a lot of people who get defensive when you talk about this, because they say, Oh no, that’s not the case. No one would do that. You’re not allowed to do that. Like, Oh, these feminists getting on their high horse about making women redundant because they’re women. It’s not that it’s just the way business works. It’s like, well, actually the statistics are proving that this is the case, that it is undeniable fact that more women mums, more mums have lost their jobs as a result of the pandemic than like, than other than non mums. If that makes sense. So they are statistically more likely to lose their job because they are a mum and that is it’s ridiculous, it’s wrong. And I think it’s really important that it’s spoken about because it needs to be challenged. This thought that, you know, just because I’m not in the office nine to five, because I’ve got my boys to pick up doesn’t mean I’m not still running a business successfully by myself. Do you know what I mean? Like I can still be, um, the person that I was work wise, I’m still, I actually, I think I’m more productive now I’m a mum than I was before I had Harry, for definite because I’m more driven. I’m more focused, if I actually have time for work, I do it rather than procrastinating or, you know, disappearing off to go get coffee or just being bored, like I used to just be bored. So that just meant that I didn’t get much done on some days. And that isn’t the case now, because if I do have time to sit down and do my work it’s so precious to have those hours, I make the most of it. So it’s awful that there is this stigma. Exactly as you say around work mums, because we are seen as just because we put our families first we are seen as lazy. And not committed to our work, but that isn’t the case. It’s just that everybody has a right to a work life balance. Whether they, whether the life balance is with kids or to go to the football or, you know, to play sport or to be able to exercise or anything. Even just being able to take a day off because your mental health is suffering. Everybody has a right to be able to do that. And nobody does.

[00:19:14]Carla:  Yeah. I actually saw a girl post the other day saying that she was due to get married. And during this time of being redundant, like, redundancies, taking place, she was so worried because she knows, I mean, not that it is always like this for everyone. It doesn’t always run as smoothly, but that the, the, they know that she does want kids after getting married. So. You know, she’s worried now that she’s going to lose her job because they know her plans for the future. And that just really was so sad for me because I just thought, why should she, she be worried? It’s like people close to me, friends that are struggling at the moment who are waiting to find out if they’ve been made redundant. A lot of them have said, Oh, it will be me first because I’m a mum, more, because I’ve not finished growing my family. I’ve only got one child. So, and I’ve said I want more.

[00:20:02] It’s like, Oh my goodness. It’s so sad. Um, because you know, as women, I mean, we’re just, you know, we’re multitaskers, I think women are, women and men in their job, I just think it should be, you know, it should be completely fair. And I don’t think it is. Um, obviously, as you said, the statistics show that, um, and it’s very sad, very sad.

[00:20:26] Amy: Yeah, absolutely. And there’s, there’s so much to it. Isn’t there with like, um, with gender equality in the workplace and it is like both you and I are the ones that do the school runs. I believe. I’m not sure whether Danny helps you at all. But, um, do you know what, I hate it when I say helps. I get really, really cross when Luke says to me, I wish I could help more, I’m like, it’s not helping. It’s doing your share. 

[00:20:47] Carla: You put this sperm in me, you sort them out. Do you know what I mean? I know its like bloody hell you would think he wasn’t present it in the moment wouldn’t you? Oh they do make me laugh. But, I think we do it to ourselves as well though don’t we. Because sometimes if I go out for tea with my friends or when I came and stayed over with you, we had a sleep over didn’t we. I was like, Oh, thanks for that. And he never expects me to say, thanks, when I say, thanks. And I’m thinking, hold on a minute, I let you shag me. You know, we did it together. We made this baby together. It’s not more mine. Or more your responsibilities. It’s both of our responsibility and I do think. I do think, um, you know, I’m, I’m really lucky with Danny that he does, you know, kind of really kind of try and help and stuff. But I do always feel like I should say thanks. Or, or like if, say for example, he’s going into work a bit later. I say, Oh, would you mind just dropping George off or something? He never minds, but it’s like, you know, it’s always on the mum I feel sometimes I don’t know what everyone’s, everyone’s a bit different aren’t they. Everyone’s got different relationships.

[00:21:57] But for me, um, I always feel a bit responsible, like last night, I was up 11 o’clock last night, searching for George’s PE kit for today. And I was like, what did I do? Did I wash it? I had no idea what I did with it. Anyway, it took me ages to find it. Um, and it, I felt it was on me, um, because I think. Sometimes, um, with all us, um, as women, we’re very, all, a lot more organized, like with my husband, he’s very laid back and he would found it this morning. It would have been absolutely fine, but I wouldn’t have had a good night’s sleep, not knowing where that was. I’d have been secretly in my head thinking about it throughout the night. Where is it? Where is it? Could it be, I don’t know. Could I put it in the bin? You know, anything is possible in this house, but, um, yeah.

[00:22:44] Amy: I think for me, it comes down to the, um, I plan better because I’m worried about all the things that can go wrong. And I think you’re right. The blokes tend to be a bit more laid back, but I wonder if that’s because they’re not usually, and I know that I’m generalizing here because I know, I mean, when I take Harry to school, I see quite a lot of dads that do the drop offs. I wonder if it’s, because they’re not there, Luke, isn’t there in the morning when Harry has a meltdown to deal with that on top of trying to find Jame his socks, like I had to this morning trying to remember what snack I’ve got to take in school, like find this water bottle or whatever. If I don’t, if I get it all sorted the night before then I’m not, if something does go wrong, then I’ve got the space to deal with it. Whereas, and I think that’s because we’ve had to experience these moments of terror, that we end up trying to avoid it basically. Whereas the men maybe don’t and I definitely, I mean, I can’t tell you how many times I literally have argued with Luke about the pressure that I feel under because all of the childcare falls on me during the week.

[00:23:54] Um, because he’s a teacher, so he has to leave the house at seven and he cannot get back any earlier than like four or five. So. There is no way he can do the school, pick up and drop off. And in the morning, I’ve got to drop James off in nursery as well. So that’s horrendous cause I have to get him into Pudsy and bring Harry out to the school that’s a bit closer. And I’ve been  finding the pressure of that too much. I can’t, we’re always late. I’m I’m very rarely get chance to have some breakfast in the morning. Cause I’m getting everything ready and getting the boys, their breakfast and you know, they’re one and four and they’re already argument with each other like over breakfast and like winding each other up. It’s ridiculous. So, you know, it’s, it’s um, You have to be like their bodyguards as well. Don’t you and separate. You have to look after them on top of all the actual, just general jobs. And then you’ve got to add in housework and then you’ve got to go add in work on top of all of that. And it just becomes so much. But because of the way we’re dealing with the hangover of centuries of women being like second class in the home, because we are, we’re the one we belong in the home and we are trying to work our way out of that. So we’re getting hangover of the women of our mum’s generation. And before that predominantly being. The caregivers.

[00:25:17] We’ve got the hangover from that. So we’re trying to work through it, but we’ve still got to deal with all the leftovers from that. Like for example, Luke, and I mean much more than I did when I was working, but he, so he’s the main breadwinner. So we literally don’t have a choice. We couldn’t like split everything 50% because we need his wage to be able to survive. So it’s gotta be me that takes the fall on the childcare. And that means I only have three days a week with four hours. To be able to get my work as 12 hours a week to run a business. Isn’t enough. And it’s, you know, so it’s, it’s me, that’s holding back. It’s my career that’s been held back for five years since I lost my job. It’s, you know, it’s all been a bit slowed down and the women who like. You know, run these amazingly successful. I don’t know how you do it. You’ve got so much going on and you still, you still just manage to keep going. Don’t you? You’re incredible. 

[00:26:13] Carla: Well. Do you know? I actually blame my mental health for that, to be honest with you, because I really struggle, like just. Being. It sounds really weird, but I can’t ever, I don’t think I’ve ever really do it. Just sit on the couch and watch TV. I just, I don’t know. I have to, and I think I just don’t like my own company. So that’s why part of the reason why it’s been as it is, is every kind of hour I can. Um, I will really kind of grow the business as much as I can. And that’s where my focus is mainly to not actually be left alone on my own. It’s quite sad really. But I don’t enjoy my own company at all. And, and that’s why, um, And I’m fully honest with that. Um, because a lot of people like, Oh, can you just sit and watch that? And it often when I do watch something on Netflix it’s, while I’m typing something out or while I’m doing something else, and it is a bit of a treat, but I’m just not interested in watching soaps or I always just think, I dunno, I just, I’m just not really interested in, in that really, um, but everyone’s different.

[00:27:19] Um, and, and that’s true. But do you know what something else is, where, like you said, when you said about our mum’s generation and I totally get you and, and, you know, it’s that guilt, isn’t it. Its like I don’t know where to place myself am I a bad person because I want to work full time and I want to work some weekends or I am I a bad person because I, I, I would rather do that sometimes. Am I?. I, I don’t know, maybe, but then there’s also a part of you that thinks, that then is jealous when your child is in childcare or they go to the grandmas and grandads and you’re like, Oh, but I want them. And it’s like, God, I can’t be two people. Its so weird. 

[00:28:04] Amy: Its a constant state of the grass is greener. If you’re working, you’re thinking, Oh, how much would I love to be like, like right now, um, James, won’t be home till, till about half five today. So. Dropping him off in the morning at nursery. He absolutely whales his head off. And how much would I love for him to be here with me? You know, putting up my laptop and sitting in the front room, playing, watching baby club on CBeebies. I would love to have that little cuddly ball of joy with me all the time. But 

[00:28:35] Carla: Till he’s with you all the time.

[00:28:38]Amy:  Exactly when he is here. When he is home, I want to sit down and do my work because that’s what I’m missing. And I actually said to my best mate, yesterday, I am happiest when I’m working and she laughed at me and she said, isn’t that a bit sad? I was like, well, Yeah, but no, because I love doing what I do. I am finally in a job that I absolutely love. I get to write for a living. I get to spend all my life on social media. I get to help other people. I get to help other mums who are running their own businesses so that I can get their stuff out there and help them be a success. I get to make a difference. And I love that. And I’m really enjoying it, like feeling confident and feeling like I’m doing something really well, because actually I don’t feel like I’m doing motherhood very well because I’ve been struggling and not very well organised. And you know, but then, like you say, then when you are with them, but then when you are working, you’re thinking, or should I be. Should I be with the kids more? Should I, I cannot tell you how many times over the last couple of weeks I’ve said to Luke, in fact longer than that, but more recently, I think I might just have to give up work. I think I might just have to stop working cause I’m not sure that I can keep this juggle going. I don’t know if it’s sustainable and I know it is. But in the moment when you just think, Oh my God, would it just be better for my mental health or my head for my physical health, if I stopped pushing so hard and I just let myself be a stay at home mum. And I think we talked about this before. Absolutely no um, I’m not saying anything negative towards stay at home mums because I know

[00:30:13] Carla: Thats harder.

[00:30:15]Amy:  Exactly. Exactly. We’ve said it haven’t we, we couldn’t do it. I could not be with those boys 24 seven. They drive me potty. 

[00:30:23] Carla: I could if i drank I tell ya. I know I’m envious a lot of the time of people that can find pure joy in 24 seven of children. I mean, I love that. I mean, it’s amazing, but I wish I could be more like that, but I just can’t, I just no I need, I need a focus. I think that’s part of, um, when you, you know, with your mental health and stuff, for me having a clear vision and a clear focus on some thing and that I can control, um, That helps me. I need to be in control of something in my life. 

[00:31:00] Amy: That so true

[00:31:02] Carla: That’s the only way that I can describe it. So I’ll say to Danny tonight, right I’m going to go on the laptop and I know I’ll have a tick list and I’ll tick it all off and I’m in control. I’ve done that. Whereas in life, you know, having another child or, you know, um, you know, selling our house and all those kinds of things. It’s out of my control. I can’t control it and I struggle with anything that I can’t control, like my health anxiety. Like I worry that I am going to get cancer. Right. And that, that is something that I really struggle with and I’m learning. Um, but that but, what happens then is, that’s another thing that I can’t control. So I suppose my mental, my, the thing that brings me back to focus is work. And it might be the same for you. I don’t know. 

[00:31:47] Amy: Yeah, definitely. It all feels, I feel calm when I’m working. I mean every so often my flipping laptop. I don’t know what it doing at the moment but every so often it just randomly turns itself off. So it’s like I blow up then. But in general, there is very rarely something that happens that makes me scream at the top of my lungs. I want to just run away and hide, but being a mum that probably happens at least once a day. Like you’re absolutely right. I know that I am more in control of my work. Yes sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming. Sometimes I don’t get stuff done that I want to, sometimes I put myself under too much pressure to deliver, but in general I am the one that’s in control, but when you’re a mum, the kids are the ones that are in control. And I think you’ve, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Um, and then obviously the two seep into each other as well. Don’t they, when you, when you’ve got the kids that controls how much time you get to spend on your work. 

[00:32:45] Carla: And I know, and I know I shouldn’t, but I feel jealous. Like, you know, when there’s like, you know, um, say for instance, a school closed, it would be me that finishes work obviously. Cause I’m flexible working and it’s almost like. It wouldn’t even be a discussion in our house, which is absolutely fine. I totally get that. And we’re in two totally different situations, but I’m jealous, like during the lockdown, um, during lockdown, when Danny was like coming downstairs or when he was coming back from work, when he did get to work, that I was like, you know, I had a face of thunder by the end of the day. I was just like, Yeah.

[00:33:27] Amy: When Luke rings me to say, like tonight, he’s got  to go to Asda on the way home from work. Cause we couldn’t, we didn’t get a delivery slot booked in time. So, um, which I’m really cross with him about. But anyway, it’s another thing to us mums have to organize. He’s got stuff, Asda on the way home from work, which is fine. We need the food. And I’d much rather he did it than I have to go out to the shops, but in my head, I absolutely seething that I’m going to have to look like be at home for longer with, with the kids, because he’s going to have to spend an hour in the supermarket. Like I’m really cross, I’ve ended up with this and I think you’re right. That’s the thing you end up resenting the fact that, so if, um, we’re in a situation where Harry has to isolate, Luke does as well because he’s a teacher, but. If we have to deal with something like take Harry to the hospital last week, it has to be me. It absolutely has to be. Now part of me thinks, well, that’s why I wanted to be a freelance. And that’s why when self-employed is because I wanted the flexible working hours so that I could be the one to pick him up so that I would be able to do hospital appointment so that, you know, before he started school, we were able to have Fridays doing nice things together because I was able to do flexible working, but I really, really, really resent the fact that actually I am, I’m never going to be the one that gets to go off and, and, uh, you know, and, and earn the wage packet. I’m, I’m never going to be the one that goes and has this secure job that I’m doing well in. Although to be fair, I think I’m doing pretty well at my own job, but it’s, um, it’s, it makes you resentful that you’ve got to do the balance, but they don’t, their lives never really changed all that much.

[00:35:07] Because they are still going out to work. They’ve still got the weekends off. They’ve know that they’re doing different things at the weekend. That’s not pub every night anymore. It’s looking after cause you gotta get up for the kids or whatever it’s that they, their lives haven’t changed. Whereas mine is absolutely unrecognisable compared to what it was just five years ago.

[00:35:28] And I find that really. I found it hard to like adapt to being a mum. And part of that is because I’m really cross that Luke hasn’t had to adapt at all. I know. And I’m being harsh. I know I am.

[00:35:41] Carla: But do you know, Amy, the thing is us, I know what we would be like. And if we did, if we were in their shoes and they were at home, we’d be jealous because we wanted to spend time with our children. You just can’t win can you. I want that today is like, I just want to duplicate myself. And I’ve said this loads of time, I want to be there, there, you don’t like Sabrina, the teenage witch, which she used to just like click fingers. And she’s in that moment that in another moment, that’s what I want to be. I want to be everyone and everything and successful at everything. I want to have washing done. Ironing done, tidy house, food on the table, a successful business and a great mum. Yeah. But, it’s not going to happen. Unfortunately.

[00:36:25] Amy: We need Hermione’s time turner don’t we, where she, like, she was able, she went to like one lesson and then she turned back time. So she could go and do another lesson. So she didn’t miss any of her lessons and she was able to do like all the subjects because she had a time turner. That’s what we need. So that we could like, you know, do the school run, but then go back an hour so that I’ve got another hour to do my work.

[00:36:46] Carla: To not do the school run. I want to do the school run but if you’re doing it, I want to do it. So it’s like Danny will take George school. And I think, Oh, I feel guilty not taking them to, I should of take him. And then when I’m taking them to school, I’m like, I don’t want to do this.

[00:37:01] Amy: That’s what it comes down to. It’s all the mum guilt. And I really, really hope that our generation of mums. We can be the ones to just eradicate this mum guilt. If you want to be a stay at home, mum, you do it. Fair play to you. If you want to go to work full time and put them in nursery, you do it, you know, fair play to you. If you want to do a mixture of both, like we are like, we shouldn’t be sat here thinking, no, actually my duty is to be a mum and be at home and you know, look after the house and have dinner ready on the table. I never cook, poor old Luke, but there’s, you know, there’s all these things that these expectations that we put on ourselves, but actually we’re the only ones expecting ourselves to do this. And we’ve got to stop making ourselves feel so guilty. 

[00:37:46] Carla: Oh no, I know it’s madness. Isn’t it. And a lot of the time, no one even would think bad of you. Like, I suppose for me, I often speak out and say like, Oh, this happened today. And then I think, Oh God, maybe I’m making myself look terrible. But then I realised, Oh, well, all the people probably do the same, but just don’t talk about it, about it and stuff. And it’s just, it’s just, you know, it’s okay when it doesn’t go perfect I suppose. And, and when we’re back to the redundancy side of things and, you know, I know quite a few people that similar situation to you, Amy, that got made redundant and have made incredible, um, incredible careers out of running their own business. Um, and they’re glad, they look back and they think, Oh, thank God, because I am, I didn’t get made redundant but. Where I used to work I didn’t fit in at all. Um, I mean, some of them might be listening to this nodding, their head, uh, it was an accountant’s firm, and I literally two add two, I have to like really think about um, I don’t know how I passed the exam. It’s just pure dedication. Do you know why I passed the exams? Actually, it was because. My a friend of mine, her mum actually laughed in my face and said, you will never be an accountant. 

[00:38:59] Amy: Oh god.

[00:39:01] Carla: No but, I get it. You know, at this I’m not academically, very bright, um, and I think um, her saying that actually did me a huge favour because I made sure that, you know, I was failing exams. I was thinking every time I was failing thinking, should I give up I’d just see that. Or I’d hear that. And I think no, and anyway, it ended up, I ended up doing it, but when I went to the office and stuff, I just found it’s very, it’s almost like it just didn’t suit me as a person. That is all really. Um, and I had every intention of going back, um, right up to, um, launching the My Bump 2 Baby blog and, and everything. And then I just thought, you know what, no, I’m not doing it. I’m working flexibly and I’ve never really looked back. I love it. 

[00:39:50] Amy: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I know. Um, when it happened to me, uh, a lot of people did say to me, you’ll look back in 10 years time, and this will be the turning point for you. This will be the best thing that’s ever happened to you at the time. You don’t want to hear it. Because you just want to be cross and you want to, I still hold a lot of anger towards the company that made me redundant. They make me really, every time I see them like advertised anywhere or anything, I’m just like, I, or if I see somebody wearing one of the lanyards that we used to wear at the office, I’m like, really, I get really ranty, but, um, So at the time when you’ve lost your job and you’re in this like, scary moment of not knowing what’s going to happen next, you don’t want to hear, Oh, it’s all going to be okay. But they are right. If it was the best thing that ever happened to me, because it made me focus on what I really, really wanted to do. And it made me reach out. It made me like. It made me redirect my career. Um, and actually, so over the summer with the pandemic, I lost, lost the clients that I had over maternity leave.

[00:41:00] Um, and so I had to completely start from scratch. And again, Having to start from the beginning. It gave me the chance to just sit down and do a proper business plan and work out exactly what it is I want to do. And I think that’s the thing that redundancy does allow if you, once you’re okay. Once you’re less like less frantic about it. Using it as an excuse to focus in on yourself and do it, what you really, really, really want to do with your life rather than, you know, getting a job because it pays the bills and having, like, having to do what everybody else wants to do for you and having to make money for this business rather than for yourself. If that makes sense. You can focus on exactly what you want to do, because actually I think we all start out in life. Not everybody does to be fair, but a lot of us start out in life with these really wonderful ideas of what they wanna do. And, you know, a career, dream career in our heads and we lose it somewhere along the way. We lose it because you, you have to get a job to pay the bills you have to, you have to go with whatever is out there. Don’t you, the number of times I’ve applied for just anything and everything on indeed or whatever, just to see what I can get. Um, Redundancy does give you the opportunity in a lot of cases, not every case, but it gave, it gives you the opportunity to actually say, right, I’m going to take a step back here and I’m going to read it.

[00:42:20] I’m going to push my career and the way that I wanted it to be when I lost all my work at the beginning of the summer, I was like, right. I want to focus on the content planning that I know I’m really good at because that’s what I really enjoy. And I want to focus on the writing. I want to be writing blogs. I want to be writing, you know, Newspapers or whatever. And I was able to put myself first and again, that comes back to like, I think we, we very often will try and do what our bosses want of us or the companies we work for rather than focusing on actually, what am I really good at? Or what can I bring to them?

[00:42:56] So that’s what redundancy gave me the opportunity to do was to say, right, actually, I’ve been wanting to do PR like most of my life. Cause originally I trained as a journalist. You see? So that that’s always been like at the heart of everything I want to do. And it was like, right. Okay. I’m wasting this amazing master’s degree that I had because I’m not doing anything to do journalism. So I sat down and I was like right what do I want to do? And I just thought. Yeah, actually, I spend my whole life on my phone, on social media. I may as well make some money out of it. And it worked because it was something that I was passionate about. And I’m so much more productive in this, in this job, probably because it’s my own business and I need it to make money, but  like enough money for me to live anyway, but there it’s something I really care about. I’m doing something I really enjoy and I’m good at it because I’m using the skills that I have rather than. Like doing what everybody else wants me to do. Like in my old job, I always ended up, I ended up doing the spreadsheets and the crappy admin and all of that, and I’m terrible at that stuff, but now I don’t have to. So it’s like, because I’m focusing on the thing that I actually am good at. 

[00:44:03] Carla: Yeah. It’s funny actually, because when I was listening to your talk, then I was starting thinking back to when you leave school, I mean, sixteen. I just want it to be Britney Spears at 16 I don’t know about you. I still do when I have had a drink and I’m in a karaoke bar. I mean, I think, you know, you have all these visions and stuff like that, and then you leave school at 16. I mean, who knows what they want to do at 16. Um, and then I went to college and then I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. I just wanted to be on TV. That’s, that’s all I wanted to do. Um, and then, um, you know, and then your parents, you know, say to you, right, you need to get a job. You need to start earning, and you just almost railroaded into this job that you don’t actually know if you want to do. And I worked at a bank and I loved it, I actually loved it. Actually. It was great. Um, and I worked there for, for years. And it was always a bit in sales because my exam results never kind of took me to uni or even college. I wasn’t, you know, I wasn’t really very academic and I was always in the sales side of things. So, um, and then it’s funny because once I’d had George, I think there’s been a real change. And a few years ago, if you think back to when we started our careers, this job that we are both in now did, would not have existed, you know. So we are so lucky that actually these type of jobs, the work from home opportunities is actually a massive thing now. You know, you can have side hustles, you can be online, you can sell things online, you can do anything. And, and, you know, and I just think to myself, thank God I was born when I was born. And that sounds ridiculous. But I, if I was 20 years old or 30 years older, I don’t know what I’d be doing because this job that I’m doing now with My Bump 2 Baby suits me its my dream job. It’s actually my dream job. Yeah. Um, but. That’s only been allowable allowed now because obviously we’re online. Everyone’s, you know, the way the world’s changed and it’s strange. Um, so, so this is the perfect time, um, for change. So if, if anyone’s listened to this and they’re worried about redundancies or, you know, or. You know, you, you worry that you’re not, may not be in the right career or, you know, think about it. You’ve got so much opportunity out there at the moment, and it’s an amazing time to start working for yourself. Isn’t it, Amy? 

[00:46:30] Amy: Yeah, absolutely. Definitely. And it is it’s daunting because you know, the people don’t have the money to spend, but honestly, there are a lot of companies who are turning because of redundancies. There are a lot of companies who are having to turn to freelancers and self employed people to bridge the gaps. And they are honing in on the people who have the skills they need, rather than because they’ve had to get rid of the full timers as if that makes sense. So it’s much more specific jobs and I think. The knee jerk reaction, the understandable knee jerk reaction when you lose your job is to get straight out there, get on the jobs websites, but that’s crazy at the moment because funnily enough, that was the job that I went for recently. Um, and I think the lady that advertised it was expecting, you know, a few applications, maybe 20, she got 125 people. This is for a small company local to where I am. They never would have expected that many applications. The competition at the moment for jobs is nuts. So. For me, it definitely seems like a really good opportunity to get yourself out there and work for yourself. You use the skills, if you’ve worked in marketing, can you do it freelance? Can you start to build up a client base of your own to be working with different people rather than having, trying and competing to get into a massive company. Um, Which is where I think we naturally gravitate to, but it’s not necessarily, particularly for those of us, who’ve got kids. It’s not necessarily the best way to go.

[00:48:02] Carla: I think it’s security, Amy, I think, um, I think our parents as well have drummed into us so much because that’s all that was known years ago and it’s like, Oh, get into, go, go to college, go to uni, get a degree.  Um, go into a corporate business, get a pension, retire, die, pay tax. Um, and, and that, that’s what we’re, you know, in our head, we’ve been drummed into it, drummed into it. And now people that are looking for other options. I mean, there’s are people in my family that don’t still do not understand what I do. And there’s probably a lot of people listening, thinking I don’t know what she does. She talks a lot,but I don’t now what she does. 

[00:48:41] I don’t actually know what I do, but there’s a lot of people out there that do not know what, what we do because they’re not, you know, it’s, it’s, if you’re not familiar with the online world, it is a bit of a like what? That doesn’t make sense. You should have to go to uni. It’s like at the moment. Yeah. You know, George, he was like, mummy, I’ve been, I don’t know why he’s saying that. Mummy, will I go to uni? I said, well, yeah, if you want to work for someone else, you could, but you can also actually get some amazing skills at uni to work for yourself, you know? 

[00:49:13] Amy: Absolutely. 

[00:49:14] Carla: And you don’t even have to go to uni either, which is the beauty, you know, it’s, I would have never lasted two minutes at uni. I would’ve never gone to a class. It doesn’t suit me. I would have ended up hungover every day and I, I just. No, um, uni is not for my personality type, 

[00:49:31] Amy: But babe I, I, I don’t know what my official attendance was for my degree, but I, I didn’t, I did most of it from my bed. I didn’t go to any lectures. I think my parents are really cross with me for it, but I, I just didn’t, I actually struggled, struggled with the social side of it in terms of like going to lectures. Cause I didn’t know anyone, but, um, You’re absolutely right. Um, I spent, I spent three years hung over, but I got so much out of it. I really, and even though I’m not doing. What I originally planned to do both the degree and the masters that I did, both of those were like things that come in useful. The skills that I learned are things that come in useful. So, um, but the point I was going to make was that actually on the other side of that, the more specific stuff like learning how to run social media channels, I’ve done that on my own. Like I’ve done online courses, I’ve joined groups. So, you know, I’ve, I’ve done it out of experience, trial and error, running people’s accounts for the last four years.

[00:50:34] That’s, that’s how I’ve done it. And that’s how so many of us have got to where we are is giving it a try and learning perhaps to make it better. We’re constantly learning aren’t we we’re constantly changing what we’re doing. We’re constantly developing ourselves like professionally, because you’ve got to, to be able to keep up with everything that’s going on. Like the online world changes so often doesn’t it with Instagram and, you know, introduces something new, like reels or the algorithm changes again, or SEO has an update on how to do SEO or whatever, and it’s all constantly changing. So you can go to uni, but then five years later, it’s like I graduated. Um, I had a Facebook memory come up and I started my masters thirteen years ago. 

[00:51:19] Carla: Wow.

[00:51:20]Amy:  The stuff that I did then like the even, even the things that we use to record interviews, they don’t use that anymore. I think they just do it all on their phones. So it’s, everything has changed. So, um, It can feel daunting to set up your own business or set up self-employed, but everybody that does it is in the same position. We are all constantly changing. We’re all constantly needing more experience, you know, everyone’s in the same position, but also everybody’s really supportive. I find that like in a full time job, it was really competitive, but being out here on my own. People are so much more supportive and we want to big each other up and we want to help each other be a success. If I see you like releasing another podcast that goes down really well or release a new product, um, you know, I’m there, I’m wanting to shout about it. I’m wanting to like, I’m wanting you to do well. And I think that’s the difference. Um, you know, with, with working for yourself, you do get those plus sides to it as well.

[00:52:21] Carla: Yeah. Yeah. And it’s like, it is like that. It is. I agree with you there. And I just think for me, I mean, for me personally, I just think it’s about, um, in the future, what I want to do with George. Um, it’s just encouraging to be whoever he wants to be. There’s no. Yeah. You know, there’s no kind of, Oh, you have to go down this process. You have to kind of do this, do that, do that, get married, have kids because life doesn’t happen like that. You just be, if you want to travel the world and, you know, work, you know, from a yacht or sounds bloody great, doesn’t it? There’s no rules. And I’m trying not to just do that, because I think as children, um, you know, my parents did get married, then they had children and it was just very much like that. And I suppose we all think that that’s just the way it has to go. We will be in that job. Right. We’ll go to college, go to uni, be in that job, then not job till we retire. And then, you know, but I just think, well, Do you know, what  things change? Like you said Amy, you may things change, you change as a person. I couldn’t have done this job, you know, 20 years ago. God, how old am I? Oh, no, I was only 13. I definitely couldn’t have, um, but, um, but I couldn’t have joined this job 10 years ago or 15 years, but it’s only, you know, the world changes and it evolves and, and you know, there’s, there’s always room to start something even on the side.

[00:53:47] Um, There’s so many amazing, um, side hustles out there that you can do. Um, as well. Obviously My Bump 2 Baby has an opportunity for that and just put that out there

[00:53:57] Amy: Great plug, what a smooth plug.

[00:54:01] Carla: I know i didnt actually mean to do that. Oh, well, may as well, but you know, there’s something for everyone out there and that’s it. But Amy, um, a little bit, um, I know we’ve conscious of time. 

[00:54:16] Amy: I know we have both got to do and do the school run soon.

[00:54:18] I know. A little bit about 

[00:54:19] Carla: what you’re doing now, then obviously we’ve spoke about it a little bit, but where can people find you? 

[00:54:25] Amy: Um, so if you I’m on social media, under moments, uh, under Mum Full of Dreams, um, and if you search Content Planning Wizard, if you do hashtag Content Planning Wizard, you should, if my social media has been done correctly, and that you should be able to find my posts I’m on Instagram, Twitter. Um, and you can find me on Facebook under Amy Downes and also LinkedIn, um, because I. When I had to sort of restart the business over the summer, I had a big old brainstorm with you. Didn’t I? And I had to think about what it is I could offer. We’ve we’ve written a list of all the different services I could offer, and I’ve set about sort of creating those services now and promoting them.

[00:55:06] And, um, we had a bit of a light bulb moment when we were a bottle down of Prosecco. Didn’t we? Where I decided to call myself the content planning wizard. Um, with the tagline of, I wave a magic, helping you wave a magic wand over your social media pages. So, um, my goal is to help other mums in business because I know that we are so pushed for time at the  moment. And I know that social media is one of those things that you sort of you do when you remember it. It adds pressure because you’ve got to remember to post, you’ve got to keep showing up. You’ve got to know you’ve got to post something on Instagram, even when you can’t be arsed and it’s hard work. And I picked up so much over the last four years in terms of, you know, little tricks of the trade and things to do, to make content planning for social media a bit easier.

[00:55:52] Um, and I want to help other mums do it, do that now. So I have, um, a power hour. Where I sit and talk to you through your business. And we talked through the things that are holding you back from posting, the things that are stopping you from being a success on social media, the things that are making you dread having to show up. Um, we talked through it and we talked through sort of like ways to solve those problems. Um, we brainstorm ideas to post. So I did power hour with the lady a little while ago. And, um, we came up with twenty five ideas for posts. Um, just within like 15  minutes because we just sat down and we brainstormed loads of ideas, things she could share. So there, she’s got a post today for a month, you know what I mean? So that’s, my goal is to send mum’s away once they’ve spoken to me, feeling a lot more confident about their social media and we’ll put together a bit of a content plan as well. I’ve got a content planning document that I share with anybody who it comes on my power hour. Um, Just to make it a bit easier. So we get those ideas and we put them into a plan and then you can go away and schedule them. Um, and it just means that that, you know, on these massive to do lists that we’ve got, when we’re trying to get this work life balance, we’re trying to be successful working mums. I want to make social media, the one that you can just tick off really quickly. And not the one that like hangs over your head all the time, because like we’ve been saying, that’s how I can use my skills to help other people I think. And it’s what I love doing as well. So I have, I do have a few clients that I literally do all their social media for them, and I love it.

[00:57:23] I love thinking of different ideas. I love trying to work out ways to increase their reach and build their followers. And I just really enjoy being on social media. So I figured you know, what, if you’re a mum who hates having to go on social media all the time, why not get me to do it instead? So you don’t have to.

[00:57:40] Carla: I love that. Love that. So, Amy, thank you so much for sharing your experience today. Um, it’s you know, if anyone wants to speak to Amy about redundancies or Amy’s got, you’ve got a few contacts, haven’t you, Amy? Um, that you’ve used before. 

[00:57:58] Amy: Yeah, absolutely. Please, please do feel free if you’re going through or you’re worried you are going to be going through it, please do contact me. If you are and I’d be happy to just, you know, even if you just want someone to chat, to to have a bit of a rant about it, or just like, Oh my God, what do I do next? I’ve I’ve been there. I will listen. And I will not tell you just to pull yourself together because I know how hard it is. Um, but I would one of the companies that I really love and charity actually that I really love following is  Pregnant then Screwed. So highly recommend if you’re in the same position that I was, and you’ve been made redundant while you’re pregnant, definitely, definitely contact them. They have a free, um, legal helpline, um, which and they are just generally really reassuring. They’re amazing. They’ve been petitioning for, um, various sort of, uh, mum’s issues during the pandemic and thing. They’re really great, but yeah, I think sometimes you just need someone who’s been there and experienced it as well. 

[00:58:55] Carla: And, come out the other side to a positive story. 

[00:58:58] Amy: Yeah. And the, and that’s why I wanted to share this today is because I want to reassure people that actually you can make something good out of this and that it isn’t, it isn’t going to last forever, this horrible, scared feeling that you’ve got at the moment. It isn’t forever. Um, you’re allowed to sulk you’re allowed to be upset and I’m angry for now, but. Don’t feel like your world is over because there are ways.

[00:59:21] Carla: Could just be the beginning.

[00:59:22]Amy:  Exactly. I love that. I love that.

[00:59:26]Carla:   Amy and also something else that, um, we, we didn’t touch on, which I think is important is your mental health did did take a bit of a bad turn. Didn’t it. After, after that, I just think it’s important to mention that. 

[00:59:41] Amy: Yeah I think, I think you’re right, actually. So I was diagnosed with postnatal depression once I’d had Harry. It was quite a late diagnosis. I didn’t get diagnosed until 18 months because I think I just kept going and I just thought it was normal. And, um, and when I spoke to, I. I was seeing a therapist for 12 weeks and when I spoke to her about it. A lot of the time was spent talking about the redundancy, how it completely ruined my confidence when I returned to work.  I was constantly questioning everything that I was doing. I was feeling like I wasn’t good enough.

[01:00:15] Like on top of the horrible working mum balance, there was also just a lack of confidence in myself. Because being made redundant I was constantly thinking it was because I wasn’t good enough and because they’d probably be wanting to get rid of me for ages cause I was rubbish and you know, I was never, ever going to be able to have a proper job because I just wasn’t good enough for any of it. And um, so that we, my therapist described it as basically, it was like, um, PTSD. So what I’d been through that day, when I was made redundant and then all the feelings I’d had after it, it was a trauma. And that was what contributed definitely towards me having postnatal depression, because it just left me feeling like I wasn’t good enough to be a worker and I wasn’t good enough to be a mum either.

[01:01:04] So it completely. Definitely had a massive impact on my mental health and, and did for a long time. Because like I say, when I then got back to work, I didn’t have the get up and go. I didn’t have the confidence in myself to be able to be a success. It’s taken a lot of like shift in mindset, uh, dealing with anxiety brought on by the redundancy to make, help me get to the position where I am now. Yeah, you’re absolutely right. I definitely think that that’s something else that’s worth, particularly if you’re pregnant and you’ve been made redundant, or if you have little ones, please reach out to your midwife because they will have support there’s perinatal midwives who actually were really supportive with me through, through my pregnancy with James, they will be there to help you through it.

[01:01:51] Um, you know, one of the, one of the, there’s not many perks being pregnant, but one of them is that if you are struggling with your mental health, you will get prioritised for support. So do reach out if you’ve been made redundant, make sure that you’re looking after that side of yourself, as well as your financial side, because you’re absolutely right to raise that. Thank you. 

[01:02:10] Carla: No, no, that’s great. I know we kind of just, we just go off on one don’t we Amy, I forget we are recording sometimes. So thanks so much for coming on Amy. And we’ll put all Amy’s links in the show notes as well as the charity link as well. Um, so everyone’s got that. So thank you so much.

[01:02:28]Amy:  Thank you. Lovely. I’ve really enjoyed talking to you. I’m really grateful for the chance to share my story. 

[01:02:32] Carla: Thanks.

[01:02:39] Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode of 50 shades of motherhood. My aim is to support free chat around motherhood’s, uncensored, unhinged and  unapologetic mum chats. If you like this podcast, please don’t forget to subscribe and tell all your friends about it. The more listeners we get, the more subscribers we get, the more chance we’ve got of getting series three down.

[01:03:08] So I look forward to speaking to you next time and keep your eyes peeled on our social pages to find out who our next guest stares. I’m sure you will love it.

[01:03:34]

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