Trying for a Baby

Fifty Shades of Motherhood

trying for a baby
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  • Trying for a Baby

Welcome to season 4 episode 1 of Fifty Shades of Motherhood.

 In this season, I welcome my lovely friend Katie Mason (aka Koach Katie) on to my podcast to chat about our motherhood journeys.

In this particular episode, both Katie and I share our personal fertility stories on trying to conceive. Katie reveals a shocking story with an important message that reminds you to get checked if you are trying for a baby and it isn’t happening as fast as you would have hoped.

This episode is funny, real, raw, uncensored, and unfiltered, and no matter where you are on your parenting journey, we are sure you will enjoy it.

If you have any questions or suggestions for future episodes, I would love to hear from you.

My Instagram handle is www.instagram.com/mybump2baby.com

Katies is www.instagram.com/koach_katie

Blogging course – https://course.carlalett.com/

Subscribe to my blogging mailing list www.mybump2baby.com/blogsubscribe

 

[00:00:00] Carla: Sponsoring this episode of 50 Shades of Motherhood today is me and myself. So I, aside from doing this podcast, I also have a business called My Bump 2 Baby, and My Bump 2 Baby is one of the UK’s leading parenting platforms. I launched My Bump 2 Baby as a blog back in 2016, and I did this on a shoestring budget.

[00:00:26] Carla: I was on maternity leave and I didn’t want to go back to work full-time. That’s the long and short of it. I learned everything there was to know about blogging, and now thousands of parents visit my website every single day, and I earn an incredible income through my blog as a result. The great thing about blogging is that you can work in your own time and at your own pace, and the sky is literally your limit when it comes to growing your income through blogging. The great thing about blogging is I now can enjoy my life doing whatever I want during the day, and parents are automatically finding my blog through search engines generating me and income whilst I am busy enjoying life. If you love the idea of launching your own passive income blog, you can access my course in the link below.

[00:01:18] Carla: This is where I share all of my secrets on the blogging formula to success. If you would like access to all of my training, all of my email templates, all of my checklists, my media kits, and so much more, you can click the link below and if you are ready to start blogging today, you can use the. Fifty F I F T Y, all in capital letters for a massive 15% off my course today.

[00:01:49] Carla: I hope to see you over there.

[00:02:06] Carla: Hello everybody and welcome to series four, episode one of 50 Shades of Motherhood. As a previously mentioned, this series is all about honest, raw, real, uncensored chats around motherhood. And today I am joined by my good friend Katie Mason, and we’re gonna be talking all about our pregnancy fertility journeys.

[00:02:34] Carla: So I hope you enjoy this episode. I just do wanna put a bit of a trigger warning there as well. A lot of you are aware, but I have suffered from miscarriages and also fertility issues, so I will be touching on those in this episode. I hope you enjoy this episode. And do feel free to message us, tag us in any pictures.

[00:02:54] Carla: Let me know where you’re listening from and I will share it on my story. You can do that at @mybump2baby. And that’s a number two there. So I hope you enjoy this episode. I hope you find it funny. I hope you have a laugh with us, and I hope you enjoy it. 

[00:03:11] Carla: Hello everybody and welcome to 50 Shades of Motherhood.

[00:03:15] Carla: I actually had to think then what I was actually recording. So I’m really excited to have you all back here and I have a very special guest, my friend Katie Mason on the show today. So hello, how are you? 

[00:03:27] Katie: Hi. I’m very well, thank you. Glad to be on. 

[00:03:30] Carla: I’m glad to have you on. It’s so nice to actually have, I feel like it’s a good time for us to catch up as well about 

[00:03:37] Katie: Yeah, perfect.

[00:03:37] Carla: Where we’ve been, this last kind of, I can’t remember the last episode I recorded. I know it was a while ago. And the reason why I’ve had such a big break for those of you that might be wondering is I was trying to conceive for so long and then. I got pregnant with Olivia and I was so scared throughout the whole pregnancy that I thought to myself, right

[00:03:58] Carla: I daren’t even record. I just didn’t wanna tell anyone I was pregnant. Do you know? I didn’t wanna say the words out loud and talk about it in case I was getting excited and I didn’t wanna get excited. 

[00:04:07] Katie: Yeah. Didn’t feel like the right time. But now it’s come to a natural point. Like a lot’s happened, hasn’t it?

[00:04:13] Carla: It it has. So, um, I thought obviously we’ve invited you on, we’re in a bit of a similar situation at the moment, aren’t we? With our journey. So do you wanna introduce yourself, Katie, uh, to everybody? 

[00:04:26] Katie: Yeah, so, well, we’ve been friends. How long have we been friends for? I don’t, we met to a mutual friend, didn’t we?

[00:04:31] Katie: Is it about 10 years or maybe, 

[00:04:33] Carla: yeah, about 10 years. Yeah.

[00:04:36] Katie: Around that time. But we just hit off, didn’t we? So 

[00:04:38] Carla: yeah, we did. 

[00:04:39] Katie: It’s really nice that we’ve, we’ve got, we’ve had little babies at the same time roughly, haven’t we? Um, few months in between, but, um, I’ve got, um, Clay, who’s three months old yesterday. Um, and, um, obviously I’m off on maternity leave at the moment, so that gives us a bit of time to catch up.

[00:04:58] Katie: So, perfect. I mean, we’ve, we’ve had a few catchups, haven’t we? And realised there’s so much to talk about, um, being new mums and also the journeys that we’ve been on together and, uh, it, our individual journeys, it’s, it’s nice to chat. Um, but I’m a personal trainer by trade. Um, I’ve been a personal trainer for 10 years into fitness and health, um, and found myself at this point.

[00:05:22] Katie: Now, I’m 41. Um, and I’ve just had my second child with a 13 year age gap. So it’s all a massive, uh, culture shock again, it’s like doing it from, from the beginning. Um, and uh, yeah, I’m enjoying it all. Uh, we were at, uh, what’s it called, Baby Sensory. Weren’t we Baby Sensory on Friday? And I was like, this is really nice.

[00:05:41] Katie: I’ve got more friends at this age with young babies than I had when I was 27, when I had my first son. 

[00:05:46] Carla: I know. Yeah, I think it seems so. Like I was 29 when I accidentally got pregnant with George and that was, I’ve told you all before, it’s like the pullout method that just did not work. , I mean, I listened to my friends pullout method.

[00:05:59] Carla: Yeah. She was like, honestly really works and all in the while her kids are like playing in the background, all three of them under three. And I was like, really? Anyway, so that’s another story, but I think for both of us, our journey to get our rainbow babies has been quite a challenge, hasn’t it, really? 

[00:06:16] Katie: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:06:17] Carla: So I, I, I would like to talk a little bit about your journey and, and how, I mean, you’ve obviously met your partner and you’ve decided to have another child, um, quite, quite a bit down the line compared to where your first child was born. I mean, how old is he now? He, he’s, 

[00:06:32] Katie: um, my eldest son, Autoro is 13. Um, and I was single, single parent with him for. Uh, about nine years. I was on my own with him from when he was 14 months old until he was 10. So, um, yeah, I met my, my partner Connor, um, three years ago. And we decided quite quickly that we had a future together. And there’s a bit of an age difference. I always wanted one more child.

[00:07:02] Katie: Um, Connor was like, oh, well I’ll take it or leave it, you know, I’m happy to be a parent. I’m, I just wanna be with the right person. So that was really nice and reassuring. Um, but we decided after about a year because of my age, let’s get cracking, you know, let’s, let’s have a baby together and complete our family, um, which is what I always wanted.

[00:07:21] Katie: So, um, 

[00:07:22] Carla: it’s a bit of a journey, wasn’t it, really? Um, 

[00:07:26] Katie: It was, it’s, it’s a weird story. So it’s not your, it’s not your typical, um, can’t conceive story, although it started out feeling like that. Um, so Connor and I, um, started trying and we decided, because we’d only have been together a year at that point, we just wanted to do it quite laid back and relaxed.

[00:07:45] Katie: We weren’t putting pressure on it. We didn’t mind if it took a year or when it happened, but we just decided obviously no contraception. I’d had my coil taken out and, um, we’ll just, we’ll just let nature take its course. So that’s what we did. Um, and during lockdown, a few of Connor’s friends who’d not been in relationships that long with the, per the partner either, you know, they, they had babies and it kind of, after a while I was like, Hmm, this isn’t, this isn’t really happening. I was like well is it my age? Like do I need to do something different? Cause I’m a bit older. 

[00:08:19] Carla: Do I need to put my legs up after sex? That’s why I tried.

[00:08:24] Katie: So, uh, yeah, so I thought like a little, a little niggles in the back of my mind because when I had a Autoro, my first son, um, I was pregnant after a month, so it was easy.

[00:08:36] Katie: So I had it in my head, like, I’m this dead fertile person. Mm-hmm. I’m fit, I’m healthy, I’m a personal trainer. This will be a doddle. Um, but then the little niggle was, but you’re older now. Is it gonna be different cause you’re older? Mm-hmm. So, um, I decided, um, I had, um, some friends also going through like IVF we’d spoken, you know, your journey takes a while.

[00:08:55] Katie: And I was like, no, I need to be aware of this. Um, it, you know, I haven’t got time to to, to let this go on for two or three years. So, um, I had, um, fertility tests. You know, my, my fertile age was like a bit younger than what I was. It was kind of, I was like 36 in my fertility window rather than. Um, whatever age I was at the time, maybe 38.

[00:09:17] Katie: I dunno. Um, but yeah, that was all looking good. I went and had the Ultra Scan, the sound scanner had like, you know, my eggs counted. Everything was looking fine. And anyway, in the end, oh no. So yeah, I missed a little bit out because I, uh, uh, a specialist that I saw, I was under this gynaecologist for my coil, so he’d removed my coil for me and I’d just mentioned to him, I’m struggling to conceive.

[00:09:42] Katie: So he was the one who did those initial tests. Um, and um, he put me on what you call it, um, Clomid, is it? Have you heard ch Clomid? 

[00:09:52] Carla: Yeah. 

[00:09:53] Katie: So it’s to make you, um, ovulate. Um, and I was on that for three months. Went all puffy, gained a bit of weight, felt dead lethargic, but I thought, no soldier through. Take this tablet every day. It’s gonna help. Anyway still no pregnancy. So I was then referred to, um, somebody, a, a another gynaecologist who was more of an expert in fertility and he immediately ordered some tests, did some. And, uh, I’ll just roll on with this story because it’s, uh, it’s a bit of a, a longer one, but I eventually, I went for a, a scan of my uterus just to see that everything was okay and fresh and healthy cause there was no reason why I wasn’t falling pregnant.

[00:10:31] Katie: And this lady’s doing this scan, I’m lying there with this gown up the cold jelly on my belly, you know, put people in the room. And, um, I’m thinking, oh God, I hope you don’t find, you know, a cyst or this, say something’s wrong with your ovaries or something’s not right. Um, and the lady says to me, so, um, you’re trying to conceive.

[00:10:51] Katie: And I said, yeah. Um, and she said, but you’ve got a coil. And literally could have dropped a pin in the room. And I, and I, and I just had to think to myself, I was like, no, I haven’t got a coil. I’ve had my coil taken out. And she just flipped the screen around on the ultrasound and there was this iron anchor sat in my uterus and I just went white.

[00:11:14] Katie: And I remember thinking to myself, what the, what the hell is going on here? I distinctly remember, like you say, legs on the table, having that coil removed a few years ago here, what is going on? So anyway, 

[00:11:28] Carla: oh my God, all that time wasted. 

[00:11:30] Katie: Honestly, you know, at this point I’m pushing 40 and I’m thinking, oh, I’ve got, you know, I’m gonna run out of time. It’s not gonna happen. And um, long story short, I’d had some surgery 10 years previously. Um, I’d had my first ever coil put in just after my son, uh, was about 18 months old. And it hadn’t agreed with me. It caused some bleeding and it wouldn’t stop. So I was advised to have it taken out under anaesthetic to have these damaged cells cauterised to stop this heavy bleeding.

[00:12:02] Katie: And whilst we were at it, why not just put Fresh Marina Coil in? Um, to, you know, ensure that you, you’re covered that way in one hit. So I did all that went on about my life for 10 years. Um, and as it happened, the surgeon had forgotten during that surgery whilst I was under anaesthetic to remove the copper coil.

[00:12:23] Katie: So when it was investigated, the coil was the 10 year old copper coil that I was meant to be allergic to or had a reaction to that should have been removed. So, yeah, that isn’t your typical, you know, fertility story is it, but it did lead me to be the age of nearly two, four days off my, what, 41st birthday when I gave birth to Clay. So, yeah, it did, it, it gobbled up a big chunk of time. 

[00:12:49] Carla: God. Yeah. Oh gosh. . That is shocking, isn’t it? I mean, it’s bad enough when you think I’ve left a tampon in, you know, like, but to actually you wouldn’t, you, you would think that they’d just take it out, wouldn’t you? You trust them to take it out. Yeah. Um, so, God, that, I mean, it’s good that you were so adamant and pushing forward for these tests because some people might just go on for a lot longer and just think they can’t conceive.

[00:13:13] Katie: Yeah. That’s it. And, and had I not decided to have another child that, rotten old coil would still be sitting there now. 

[00:13:20] Carla: Oh God. 

[00:13:21] Katie: It makes my skin crawl just thinking about it, 

[00:13:23] Carla: oh God. 

[00:13:24] Katie: But, um, yeah, I had loads of side effects over the years. Yeah. I’d been back and forth with tummy pains, infections, different things. I was told at one point by somebody who did an ultrasound that I just had a big ball of wind, and that’s why I had bellyache.

[00:13:38] Carla: Oh, nice. 

[00:13:39] Katie: Yeah. I, well, I have got IBS, so, you know, maybe I should believe them, even though it’s a sharp stabbing pain.

[00:13:45] Carla: But, but when you’re told by a health professional, you know that that’s what it is. You believe it, don’t you? 

[00:13:51] Katie: Course you do. 

[00:13:52] Carla: Um, you don’t think to question it, so. Oh, goodness. Wow. 

[00:13:58] Katie: So in, in, in that process, I’d already started the ball rolling, thinking I’m gonna have to have, IVF. I’d been for a consultation for IVF. Um, I hadn’t obviously started any treatment yet cause this was discovered just before I was, um, due to start like looking into the, the start of an IVF journey, um, they took the coil out. Um, and this is where our rainbow baby story kind of interlinks because I fell pregnant straight away, obviously over the moon, so, so happy.

[00:14:29] Katie: Um, Connor was so happy. It was a shock that it happened so quickly once the, the coil was removed. Um, but sadly I did miscarry that, that pregnancy at eight weeks, um, and two days that you know it to the day, don’t you? When it happened? 

[00:14:42] Carla: Yeah.

[00:14:42] Katie: Two weeks and two days. Um, and I was, uh, you know, I was devastated. It was, it was just awful because so much had gone into this pregnancy and, um, thinking for eight weeks or however many weeks, you know, you’re pregnant, that you’re there, you’ve done it.

[00:14:57] Carla: Yeah. 

[00:14:57] Katie: And little one’s grown inside it, and then it was gone, so that was 

[00:15:01] Carla: I know, it is so sad, and I think it’s hard when you miscarry early as well, and because you are so, you don’t wanna tell anyone so early. So you’re so excited inside and you having all these thoughts like, oh, at Christmas they’ll be this age, and oh, they’ll, you know that they’ll go to school with that person.

[00:15:17] Carla: It’s really hard when one of your friends is pregnant around the time you miscarry as well. Because that happened to me, one of my best friends, in fact, I told her, I was like, you need to try for a baby. Now I’m pregnant. So she did, she got pregnant and obviously then I lost mine. So then that whole time you think, oh my goodness. Like it, it’s just so hard, isn’t it? 

[00:15:37] Katie: It’s like a pin in time, isn’t it? Because you know their baby in relation to when yours should have been due. 

[00:15:43] Carla: Yeah. You never forget.

[00:15:45] Katie: Or my baby would be that age now, or my baby would be that you you do, don’t you? It’s, you can’t help it. It’s just natural to think that way, isn’t it?

[00:15:52] Carla: It it is, and it’s, every time I see twins, every time I see twins or someone talks about twins, it naturally in my mind, I think, oh, I should have had twins. You know, when I’m intrigued by. But it’s just, it is one of those things, isn’t it, unfortunately. Like you just, I think sometimes when it, when it does happen, it’s just little triggers that you always get in your mind.

[00:16:13] Carla: Like when someone says something or, and you think, oh, and it never really does go away, but you just learn to, you learn to kind of accept it, don’t you? Really? I suppose, and I’ve only, I’ve only more now accepted it since I’ve got Olivia. Before Olivia, I really struggled for, you know, that. I mean, it, it got to the point where when we’d have a drink together, you know, I’d start all fine and everything.

[00:16:37] Carla: By the end of the night I was like, in tears, like, yeah, I was crying and then I thought, I mean, lockdown was a really good thing for me because I couldn’t see anybody. And I think around that time I was really struggling mentally. Um, and that’s when my health anxiety was at an all time high. And then recording these podcasts and speaking to all these brave people that are going through, you know, cancer treatments and all of that.

[00:17:00] Carla: I think it just really triggered like, you know, like I just, my empathy is so high that I think I couldn’t sleep at night after speaking to people. And I dunno, it’s just so hard, isn’t it? You know, when you’re going through all, so many people are going through things at the moment, but when it comes to, I get quite a lot of messages on Instagram from people that have tried trying to conceive or they’ve miscarried before.

[00:17:22] Carla: And just, just to be able to kind of give people a bit of hope is, is really nice. Yeah, but then you fee you feel guilty. I feel guilty though sometimes I, I post a lot less than I used to on Instagram through guilt because I, I feel like all those people that were following me were following me while I was trying to conceive and.

[00:17:40] Carla: And some of them haven’t got that baby at the end of it yet. And it’s the guilt that I feel like 

[00:17:47] Katie: that that what what you just said earlier, it’s hope, isn’t it? People see that it’s, it’s, it, it, it can happen at any point and it takes you by surprise cuz you get into this mindset that this is hard, this is, this isn’t gonna happen without, you know, a struggle and, you know, maybe I will need IFV, maybe I’ll need intervention.

[00:18:05] Katie: Then suddenly it happens and you’re like, oh my God, if someone could have told me two years ago, at this point in time on this date, you are gonna get what you want eventually. You’d have just had a laugh for those two years. You just, you know, you wouldn’t wound yourself up with the anxiety part, you know, you just enjoyed life.

[00:18:23] Carla: Yeah. 

[00:18:24] Katie: You don’t know do you? Life’s the rollercoaster and fortunately after that low is a good high, isn’t it?

[00:18:29] Carla: It is. I think sometimes, this is what I say about boyfriends actually. Cause I’ve had a few and I’d say like, I wish someone told me that I’d meet Danny when I did, so I wouldn’t waste time with all these other ones in between because pointless, pointless.

[00:18:45] Carla: I should have just got a vibrator and been happy until I met Danny. That would just be perfect. 

[00:18:50] Katie: We’d just gone out with your friends and enjoyed life. Yeah.

[00:18:52] Carla: Oh yeah. All that time wasted.

[00:18:55] Katie: Go through the narcissist and this, that and the other. In the meantime, don’t we.

[00:18:59] Carla: I know we have to kiss a few frogs, don’t we? I mean, they’ve not all been bad.

[00:19:02] Carla: I just wanna state that had some lovely boyfriends, but just, you know, I, I wish I’d have waited, you know. Then maybe I won’t be the person I am today. 

[00:19:12] Katie: Yeah, you’re looking for the right person at the end of the day. And sometimes you have to take a few, uh, frogs on the way don’t you?

[00:19:17] Carla: Oh, you do. You do. That’s it. So, so with our pregnancy journeys then, I know there’ll be probably people listening that might be pregnant with the rainbow baby.

[00:19:26] Carla: Now. Now I wanna talk about how stressful that is. I mean, I remember stood in Morrison’s and I was just shopping, getting, like, I, I’d buy the odd little thing for Olivia, but I was a bit too scared too, you know, only the cheapy things. Yeah. Just in case I lost her and I felt like, Water, it feels like warmth coming out of my fairy.

[00:19:46] Carla: And I was like, what the hell is that? But I link that to blood because that is what it was like last time I miscarried. And every single time that had happened, I’d be like, oh my God. And obviously you’re in a shop so you can’t, I was shaking thinking, oh my God, am I miscarrying again? And then it’s like carrying on doing the whole food shop while you’re thinking what’s going on in my pants?

[00:20:05] Carla: Yeah. And then, and then add like brave up the courage to kind of go to the bathroom and it would be like, ooh. And, and luckily, you know, it’s just the good old, you know, discharge you get during pregnancy. But um, that whole thing was terrifying. I mean, I was pregnancy testing every week. Yeah. To the point I actually ended up with a negative pregnancy test at my doctors.

[00:20:26] Carla: Do you remember that? 

[00:20:28] Katie: Um, yeah, I think you said, yeah.

[00:20:29] Carla: I was bleeding, I was bleeding from week five to week eight, which for someone that’s had miscarriages before, I thought, right, it’s over. Went to my doctors, did the test there negative, so I was like, oh, what’s happened again? And I was crying and crying anyway and then I don’t know why I did another test.

[00:20:46] Carla: I think he said, do another one when you get home. And I did and it was bright red and I was thinking two lines and I was like, what the hell? Am I pregnant? Am I not? Then I got into a private scan, but that was a few days away. So I had a few days where I was like, I don’t know if I am or if I’m not. My boobs are still sore and it’s just a whole thing is so terrifying.

[00:21:06] Katie: The comparison from when you have a straightforward pregnancy. When I had my eldest son, I had a scan at 12 weeks. Wait, wait, did you have your first scan at 12 weeks? Yeah. Yeah. And then one at 20 weeks and the rest of the pregnancy. I didn’t even think twice. I got about my, went about my life, you know, I didn’t think for a second.

[00:21:25] Katie: Whereas after my miscarriage and then being pregnant with clay, that was five months later. Um, like you say, it’s, I mean, the nitty gritty of it is every time you go to the toilet and you wipe, you’re expecting to see blood, aren’t you? You’re expecting the worst from day dot and, um, yeah, 

[00:21:42] Carla: Alone when it, you need a number two, because when you need a number two, I was terrified to go, I was so terrified to go because I, I actually thought in my head, what if I push the baby out?

[00:21:53] Carla: Like, oh, I’m so stupid. 

[00:21:55] Katie: I thought that put too much pressure on in 

[00:21:58] Carla: Because you get like, well, everything. Kind of, your body slows down a little bit, doesn’t it? And I was on progesterone, um, to prolong my pregnancy from, from the moment I found out because I had, I had quite a few miscarriages. I was put on progesterone, which can kind of slow things down.

[00:22:17] Carla: Yeah. Uh, that way. And then, you know, if you did need the bathroom, it would be like, well, I don’t wanna push because I don’t wanna bleed. And, you know, so there’s all of that side of things as well. Like, it’s, it’s not just, and then people talking to you about your pregnancy, I didn’t even wanna talk about it.

[00:22:34] Katie: Yeah. As well. And then you get people, people don’t know what to say, do they. Some people bring up the miscarriage you’ve had whilst you’re pregnant again. And you’re like, no, please, you know, that’s not appropriate.

[00:22:45] Carla: Not today. 

[00:22:45] Katie: Let me enjoy this, uh, for now. Um, but yeah, it’s going for the scans. I can’t describe, just like you’ve got your heart in your mouth, haven’t you?

[00:22:55] Katie: Mm-hmm. , you’re going, you’re lying on that table and you’re just waiting for them to give you bad news, and then they say heartbeat and the relief. Like, my partner used to cry every time. Oh. You know, we’d go in like we’d, we’d just, we’d just be nervous wrecks. Oh gosh. Cause my, my miscarriage was a missed miscarriage, so I had no idea I’d miscarriage until we turned up for private scan and discovered. Expecting to get these little photographs to show everyone and announce our news. Obviously, you know, discovered that the pregnancy had ended. So scans for us were a massive trigger. 

[00:23:30] Carla: Same. Yes. It’s awful that that’s the first one with the twins. That was my first ever miscarriage. I know. That. I know of.

[00:23:38] Carla: But that was the same, went in for the scan, even paid for the photos. I mean, that’s a double even hit, isn’t it? You know, you’re pay Oh my, the beginning. Cause you pay at the beginning when you go in. 

[00:23:48] Katie: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:23:49] Carla: And then, you know, then you told no. And then, I don’t know. Was this at the, oh, yours wasn’t at the, um, hospital, but mine I saw eventually.

[00:23:57] Katie: It was eventually. Cause the private scan people referred me. Oh, they didn’t tell me that this was what was awful about this company we went to the, you know, I, I don’t wanna individually target a company, but. The people now that some people have got a scan machine in a cupboard, in a pram shop and they’re doing a scan and it’s not professional doing it, and it just, that makes it so much worse.

[00:24:20] Katie: And this scan was really unprofessional. And the lady, the panic on her face, she didn’t know what to do, what to tell us. Oh, she didn’t tell us anything. So I’m looking at her face trying to read what’s going on. There’s no sound on there anyway, so there’s no missing heartbeat. You don’t know. And they just said, we can’t get a clear scan.

[00:24:39] Katie: You’re gonna have to go to the vic. So, uh, I’m going. We’ve lost the baby. My partner’s going, don’t be silly. They just, you know, they just want us to go for reassurance. Don’t be daft. So then we had to wait and we sat on the grass outside the early pregnancy unit at the Vic and just waited and waited until they’d fit us in.

[00:24:57] Katie: Uh, cause I said, I can’t go anywhere. I’ll do anything until I know what’s happening. Anyway, that was our miscarriage that time. 

[00:25:03] Carla: It’s so heartbreaking. 

[00:25:05] Katie: They were brilliant at the hospital though. They were, they were really good. 

[00:25:08] Carla: They’re so good in that early pregnancy unit. Actually, the black p that Blackpool Vic have been in there so many times for Yeah. Like, well obviously all my miscarriages like all started off in there, the bleeding and stuff like that. But that, um, they are, they are really good in there, but it’s so hard. The whole, the whole thing is just traumatising. And, and you know, years ago I was so naive to it and I used to hear people, oh, I had a miscarriage and I used to not really think much of it.

[00:25:34] Carla: And I really like, not, not, I just think, oh, you’ll be okay. You know, it’ll all all be fine. And, and you know, and, but until you actually go through it. 

[00:25:44] Katie: Yeah. 

[00:25:44] Carla: Think it’s. You don’t realize that it’s all those thoughts that you have, the excitement, the outfits you’re looking at straight away, you know? Yeah.

[00:25:52] Carla: Is it a boy? Is it a girl? And oh, just picturing those days. 

[00:25:56] Katie: What’s kinda weird about our society as well is we do this thing of not telling anyone for 12 weeks. So because no one knows you are pregnant. I mean, obviously that’s to cover you from miscarriage, isn’t it? But I actually don’t think it’s very healthy because nobody knows you’re pregnant.

[00:26:10] Katie: So if you miscarried during that time, people are just kind of finding out that you’re pregnant and that you’ve lost the baby at once, and they kind of presume it’s not that much of a big deal because you didn’t know how long you had this. This warm feeling for that you’re pregnant and all your expectations and hopes.

[00:26:26] Katie: So until it’s happened to you, you’re right. You just kind of think, oh, they’ll be alright again in a couple of months. 

[00:26:32] Carla: Cause you don’t have the same feeling cause it’s a distance thing. It’s, it is your baby, isn’t it? At the end of the day it’s your, it’s your baby that you made together and it’s, it’s heartbreaking. It really is. 

[00:26:44] Katie: Yeah. We already named them in your head and imagined what they look like? So. 

[00:26:47] Carla: Oh, you do. I know. Is it a girl? Is it a boy? And then it’s like, right when will I be 16 weeks? I can find out around then everything’s mapped out, isn’t it? Oh they’ll go to school with them. They’ll do that with them. And it’s just like the whole thing, you know.

[00:27:02] Katie: It’s definitely been a reeducation for me on how to speak to people who’ve had miscarriages and what is like, what is the right thing to do. Cause I think a lot of people don’t what they, what should I do? And they just kind of try and brush it aside and talk about something else.

[00:27:18] Katie: But I, I kinda felt when it happened to me, I wanted like my close friends or even like my clients who, and cause I decided to make an announcement and say, look, this is what’s happened to me because I was going through it and I didn’t wanna be turning up to work and feeling like, can people see a bump, little bump there still, you know?

[00:27:37] Katie: And I just felt I wanted to explain this is I’ve been through this. Um, and I would and, and I just appreciated people saying, I know, I know what you’ve been through. I’m sorry about that. And that’s all that was. That was . That’s all you need, isn’t it? Mm-hmm. like you’ve hid this big secret and you grieving and you can’t say anything to anyone and no one knows.

[00:27:57] Carla: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It’s just, and I think that the feeling of like not being in control of your own body is frightening, you know, like the fact of the miscarriage and I think that’s where my health anxiety really, I mean, I think I’ve always had it, but it got a lot worse when I’d had quite a few miscarriages cause I, you know, you blame yourself, did I do something wrong? Did I eat something wrong? Was it that wine that I had when I didn’t know I was pregnant? You know, like, and all of those things. 

[00:28:24] Katie: You want a reason, don’t you? You want say that has happened because of this, and then you can go forward and make sure you don’t do that or that Yeah. I got covid. So I’d had a little scan at six weeks. There was a heartbeat. Then I had covid. Uh, we couldn’t get a picture at six weeks cause it was too early. They said, come back in a couple of weeks. So within that two weeks of me having Covid, so I’m obviously in my mind, I’m like, it was covid that did it. Mm-hmm. Um, but maybe not, you know, maybe that just, it was just one of those fluke things that was always gonna happen, you know? Who knows? 

[00:28:55] Carla: Mm-hmm. It’s awful. It really is. I mean that’s, well, my, my pregnancy, I would’ve thought, I was just hoping for a normal kind of pregnancy. And I wanna talk a little bit around this because I think it’s quite important for anyone that’s had smear tests in the past where they’ve come back with abnormal cells.

[00:29:12] Carla: Obviously I’d encourage anybody to go for a smear test, but what happened is I had to have cells burnt away. Um, have you had this before, Katie? 

[00:29:20] Katie: No. I had an abnormal result once and when I went back it was okay. Oh. It happens frequently, doesn’t it? 

[00:29:27] Carla: Yeah. And I had to have cells burnt away. Um, and then they cut some of the cervix off. Now I remember when they cut some of the cervix away to send off to check that the cells had gone. I remember looking in the jar, I was like, what’s that? As I was leaving and they were like, oh, that’s your cervix. Well, it was, it was like that, right? That they’d cut off. Didn’t think anything of. Had obviously these recurrent miscarriages and after you’ve had three, they measure your cervix when you go for your scan.

[00:29:55] Carla: So they measured it at 16 weeks, it was okay and then they measured it at 20 weeks. And the woman there, she was like, right, this is not good. You know, we have no choice but we need to put a stitching cause you will not carry this baby to term. So obviously for me, you know, with the rainbow baby, I think it got to a point where, you know, I felt so bad because it’s my body that’s letting this baby down.

[00:30:17] Carla: She’s healthy, she’s fine. And I was like, so she said, you need to come back tomorrow and I’m just gonna be the surgeon and I’m gonna put a stitch in your cervix to keep it closed. Anyway, so it’s a bit like a procedure, like a C-section. So you go in, you don’t eat, um, you go in, you wait, I waited all day. I think it ended up, yeah, she was on till six o’clock.

[00:30:38] Carla: Um, this particular surgeon and she said, there’s no choice. We have to put the stitch in cause that’ll be it basically. So I was terrified. Um, and anyway, I went in and literally because there was emergencies before me, which obviously should always go first. I went in for the C-section and it was five past six.

[00:30:57] Carla: I had my legs up on the table, I’d had the injection in my back and this guy walks in and I was like, this isn’t the surgeon that I was gonna have. Oh, sorry. She finished at six. Um, it’s now five past six. So he came in and in a way I wonder whether I should be so thankful for this, because he came in and he was down there a while and you know when you can hear talking and stuff and I, you know, I’m terrified of everything anyway.

[00:31:21] Carla: And he said, I’m really sorry. And I thought he was gonna say the baby’s gone. And he said, I can’t do this stitch. And I said, why? He said, if I do this stitch, it’s gonna burst the waters and you’re gonna give birth. But the question is cause she told me I had no choice. Would she have done it? And would that have happened and would I have lost Olivia that way?

[00:31:41] Carla: I don’t know. So anyway, he said, Go away. What will happen will happen and when you’re ready to try again, um, come back, we’ll put a stitch higher up. So you’d have to have our operation before you start trying again, and that will keep the baby in. They can’t do that at the moment cause obviously she’s grown and the bag’s too low down.

[00:32:02] Carla: Anyway, so I went home and it was almost like they said, you know, sorry, there’s nothing more we can do. And I was terrified for actually having to give birth to a live baby and watching them die. I mean that’s, that was the extreme, that’s what I was worried about mostly. Um, because at the point I was 20 weeks then, and I knew that, that our hospital at Blackpool, there were, I think, I don’t wanna say what level, but I don’t think. A level two hospital basically. Will step in from 22 weeks if a baby’s born and try, which Preston Hospital, which is the nearest one to us, is a level two, um, hospital. So they would’ve done that. But I was before that. So I knew what I had to do in my mind is think right, I need to get through each week. And so I had to get to 22 weeks in my mind.

[00:32:46] Carla: And then I knew if I went into labor, I’d just drive straight to, well, I wouldn’t someone drive me straight to Preston Hospital or Burnley. And I actually rang those hospitals and I said, I’m not a member of this hospital, but if I turned up what would happen? And they said, well, we wouldn’t send you away.

[00:33:00] Carla: So I thought that’s as good enough for me because if I transferred over to them, I’d have to go for all my scans there. And I didn’t want, I couldn’t put, had to go on bedrest, didn’t I? And all of that. So, 

[00:33:11] Katie: I was on holiday, do you remember I was on a holiday when you found that news out and we were voice noting and honestly my heart was in my throat for you.

[00:33:20] Carla: Oh my god.

[00:33:20] Katie: And um, I’d had, my sisters had twins. Um, they grow, they’re teenagers now nearly, but um, they were born very, very early. And I was getting advice off her. Back to you, you were like, no, I’ve got this plan. I’m gonna get on the motorway. I’m gonna get straight to Burnley. 

[00:33:36] Carla: Yeah. I had to almost kind of picture what would happen, you know, like I had to always have something. It was a way that I could try and save it if she did come. So anyway, I went on the internet and I looked into the short cervix and I joined a group, and it’s a group of women, and they all had stitches. Really, most of them. I couldn’t have the stitch I didn’t have a choice anyway. These women were like, I demand, you know, you need to make demand, you need to get it.

[00:34:03] Carla: And I thought, no, you know, I’ve been, I’d rather. You know, some of them had gone for the stitch and unfortunately the waters had gone and the baby died. Um, so it was like, so what I decided to do is I followed a, there was a couple of women that I found that actually went on to have healthy babies at the end of it.

[00:34:21] Carla: And when I looked at them, what they did is they went on bedrest. Now our hospital said, absolutely don’t go on bed rests. It’s not good for you. Luckily, cause I work for myself, I just thought, you know, what’s the harm in me just doing it? So I did it from week 20 to week 27. And then from week 27 I sat up at this desk and worked for a couple of hours each day just to, you know, work is my kind of, that’s where I lose myself and I enjoy.

[00:34:45] Carla: Um, but yeah. And then I never thought I’d get to 39 weeks Cause you were at my baby shower, weren’t you? 33 weeks. 

[00:34:52] Katie: Yeah.

[00:34:52] Carla: And that was, that was even then I was like so scared every minute of every day, but I made it to 39 weeks. Can’t believe. And she’s nearly one now. 

[00:35:02] Katie: In your mind, I bet you thought she’s at least gonna come early.

[00:35:05] Carla: Yeah. 

[00:35:05] Katie: You know, I mean, I know you were trying to get to all these landmarks, weren’t you? This date? That date, then this date, and surpassed everything and got to 39 weeks. But you made a decision there, like complete self-sacrifice. You know, you didn’t go out, you didn’t really see your friends. You sat in that bed and waited for your baby to grow, didn’t you?

[00:35:23] Carla: Yeah, I did. 

[00:35:24] Katie: You know, I, it’s, it’s so lovely that you got Olivia at the end of it cause.

[00:35:29] Carla: Yeah, it helps that I’m a bit lazy though. Does help that. I don’t mind lying on the couch and stuff like that, watching. I actually do you know what it was in a way that, you know how obsessed I used to be with work and stuff and I know I am still a little bit now, but that was all anxiety I think.

[00:35:45] Carla: I’ve had since George was born. My channel for when I feel most relaxed is when I’m working, because otherwise my mind’s going all over. I beat myself up constantly. Don’t I about everything. I’m like one of these people, over-thinker, criticise myself constantly. And the only time I don’t do that is while I’m working.

[00:36:02] Carla: And actually, that actually made me realize like that I could actually just be, you know, like that time I’d just lay on the couch and Id just lay there watching program stuffing my face and loving life. And apart from that part of it, you know, with making sure Olivia, cause every, every blooming toilet trip I was absolutely petrified.

[00:36:20] Carla: I literally shake, you know? Yeah, it was, it was awful. But, Anyway, that, that actually enabled me to learn to actually relax a little bit and actually enjoy my own company. And I read a few books and things like that. Things that I never did before. My, my anxiety is so much better since then. 

[00:36:39] Katie: Yeah. That, that and without the espressos.

[00:36:42] Carla: Oh gosh, yeah. That, you didn’t realize. I mean, once I, I did, um, a plan with Katie. Was it the six week bikini program you do?

[00:36:50] Katie: Yeah. You just did it as a distraction to like get your health, uh, give your health a boost and all of that, didn’t you? And, uh, maybe, maybe shed a couple of pounds, but Yeah. 

[00:36:58] Carla: And Katie said like, how many coffees do you have a day?

[00:37:01] Carla: And I was like, oh. How many did I say? 

[00:37:04] Katie: Twelve, espressos a day.

[00:37:06] Carla: Oh my god. Yeah. 

[00:37:07] Katie: I couldn’t believe you were still alive. 

[00:37:09] Carla: I couldn’t actually. And do you know what that is probably where the anxiety came from because my heart was racing constantly all the time. Racing. I was on edge all the time. And now I think to myself, probably the coffee actually.

[00:37:22] Katie: Yeah. Did I did a consultation, didn’t I? A health consultation with you. And I was, I remember going through the answers, right? Cause I do it with every client. I’m looking for reasons why, you know, they’re either not succeeding on a health or fitness journey. And there is always a reason. You know, it might be a couple of wines every single night or too much coffee, like stopping you from sleeping.

[00:37:42] Katie: So you’re tired, so you eat junk. There’s always something. And I remember reading through your form. And then get into this thing 12 espressos. And I messaged you straight away and you were like, yeah, but I’ve got this new coffee machine. It’s great. I can’t, oh, 

[00:37:55] Carla: It’s great. Honestly. 

[00:37:58] Katie: I was like, it’s not that great. It’s probably making you feel really ill. 

[00:38:02] Carla: Probably not helping with trying to get pregnant either, I imagine. 

[00:38:05] Katie: No, no. Cause your cortisol levels, your stress hormone would’ve been through the roof and that’s telling your body. You know, there’s something dangerous going on out there and not a good time to get pregnant.

[00:38:15] Katie: But I made do that Greens drink straight away to get pH levels balanced. 

[00:38:20] Carla: And after that green drink, I did actually get pregnant, didn’t I? I got pregnant after that green drink. So if anyone wants to know who that are it what that is? Message me or Katie team? We’ll, we’ll share it with you. It’s called SuperGreens, isn’t it?

[00:38:31] Carla: Dr. Yes. I wanna call it Dr. Schultz, but it’s not, is it? 

[00:38:35] Katie: Yeah, it’s Superfood Plus by Dr. Well, it’s Schultz I think. Do you know, I’ve used it for years and I dunno how to pronounce it cause I’ve only ever read it off the bottle. Um, but I’ve, I’ve had quite a few clients who’ve started a health journey and they’ve struggled to conceive and then they, they do get pregnant.

[00:38:52] Katie: I’m not saying that’s the golden ticket for everyone, but sometimes your underlying health, even though you might not be overweight or you might feel like you’re okay. There could be like a little issue there that’s just standing in the way. Um, and I dunno if the greens drink’s a bit of a miracle path.

[00:39:09] Katie: It’s obviously not, but um, I know a lot. 

[00:39:12] Carla: Tastes awful. 

[00:39:13] Katie: Yeah, it does taste gross. You’ve got to have like, 

[00:39:15] Carla: Smells like a pet shop, you know, when you used to walk in a pet shop years ago as a kid. Yeah. If you smell it, I actually smells like a pet shop. 

[00:39:22] Katie: Yeah. Or it’s like I say to my clients sometimes it’s like the bottom of a cuppa soup, isn’t it? That clumpy horrible bit that’s left. It’s like, It’s like trying to drink that. And people always message me going, how do you drink this drink? Like, can I put sweet juice with it or something? And I’m like, Nope. You just have to accept it’s good for you and get it down. 

[00:39:42] Katie: You do get used to it. 

[00:39:43] Carla: You do get used to it. In fact, I’ve still got that in the cupboard actually. I do need to get that out because I did, I did find it really, really good. I felt great from it. Yeah. 

[00:39:52] Katie: What’s good about it as well, you can take it while you’re pregnant. So I drank it all through the pregnancy. Cause you can’t have half of the vitamins, uh, off the shelf can you?

[00:40:00] Katie: Only pregnancy ones. And, um, I, I, I carried on with it. So it just gives you a little bit of a. Spring in your step. 

[00:40:07] Carla: It does. 

[00:40:08] Katie: Maybe it’s a placebo. I’m pretty sure it does make you healthy.

[00:40:11] Carla: I think it does make you healthier. I think anything green for me, you know, is, is a win. Because my plate, if, if it was my choice for the rest of my life would be beige.

[00:40:21] Carla: I just love chips, I love potatoes, all of those things. But when I have something green, I think feel like it. It does me good. 

[00:40:28] Katie: Yeah, it well it normally does. 

[00:40:30] Carla: It normally does green. Green Chewits. Yeah. 

[00:40:34] Katie: As soon as you’re pregnant though, I think you just, your cravings take over. Don’t they, and it’s, you know, oh yeah. Beige food, the chips, chips with salt on, things like that. 

[00:40:42] Carla: Oh, what were your cravings, Katie? 

[00:40:46] Katie: So this pregnancy, I went through some, some oddish ones at the beginning, and then they kind of balanced out. My first one was cheese and I just wanted cheese on everything. I was like, can I put, is it acceptable to put cheese on top of that?

[00:40:58] Katie: I was putting it on all these different weird things, cheese and jam in croissants. That was my previous pregnancy. I love that. But then I went into, um, you know those spicy pickles, uh, jalapeños, like the long ones? 

[00:41:11] Carla: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:41:12] Katie: You just pick ’em out a jar and eat them like that. I was just nipping to the fridge and just eating these whole chilies.

[00:41:18] Carla: Oh God. 

[00:41:19] Katie: I don’t know why. It just, I, I, I just loved them. 

[00:41:22] Carla: Yeah.

[00:41:22] Katie: Soon went off that. And then as, as my sort of got into my second trimester, I feel like my, my craving was just food . 

[00:41:29] Carla: Yeah. Oh yeah. Same. 

[00:41:31] Katie: I was so hungry. 

[00:41:33] Carla: Do you know, I got obsessed with them. Um, cold coffees from Aldi. I was obsessed. We had to fill the fridge, obviously. Coffee again, obsessed with it. , that was it. Honestly, I just love them so much and I’d sometimes I’d like wake up so excited to have it and I’d make sure, like I’ve had it as late in the day as possible so I could be excited for longer. It’s sad, really, actually, , um, I haven’t had them since, but yeah. So yeah, I mean, 

[00:42:01] Katie: Yeah, you gotta just go with the flow a little bit with the cravings whilst you’re pregnant, haven’t you?

[00:42:05] Carla: Oh, yeah. Did you, did, did you tell us before you were 12 weeks. I can’t remember. 

[00:42:11] Katie: I didn’t this time on my, my first, um, pregnancy that I lost. You were pregnant at the time, weren’t you? That’s how our journey linked. We went to our friend’s party, didn’t we? And you were dressed as baby carrying a watermelon.

[00:42:25] Katie: Which I though was funny.

[00:42:27] Carla: Oh yeah. I didn’t even think about that. Yeah, I was pregnant at the time. 

[00:42:34] Katie: At this party. I was, um, I was like, I’ve gotta make sure, no, I just found out I was pregnant a week before and I thought, I’ve gotta make sure nobody realises I’m not drinking because I’m not telling anyone yet.

[00:42:47] Katie: And I was pouring my own lemonades and, and I remember just like kind of side stepping up to you with my lemonade and being like, you being like, oh, well not drinking, whatever. And I was like, I’m not drinking either. And I was like, I’ve got to tell Carla. I need to tell. So you were like, why are you not drinking?

[00:43:00] Katie: I was like, well, and you just gave me this eye, this look as if to say, I think you went, I don’t think you allowed your lips to move. And you went, are you? Oh, are you? Everyone else was dancing going wild, weren’t they? We were there with our soft drinks.

[00:43:15] Carla: I know. Thinking is it over yet. Can we go, can we go yet? 

[00:43:21] Katie: Yeah is it acceptable to leave.

[00:43:23] Carla: No, I know. Oh, I know. It’s. It is hard. It is a hard journey. I mean, pregnancy in, in, I mean, even trying to conceive, I mean that is, I mean, your journey, I mean, trying to conceive when there’s no possible way you could get pregnant is . It’s like, you know, I, 

[00:43:40] Katie: I’m looking, I, I’m glad I can laugh about it now even because I’ve got my baby, you know?

[00:43:45] Carla: I know, but still, do you know what, if you wanted multiple children though, like that’s a lot of time to you. You could have had two by the time, like you had to go through all that. I mean, it’s, it’s awful. 

[00:43:56] Katie: Yeah, definitely. Um, I remember just going back to the story where I discovered this coil was there and I was shocked.

[00:44:03] Katie: I got in the car and I, and I thought, I bet, tell Connor, you know, Connors had to jizz in a cup recently to check his fertility. He’s not really happy about this. I’m gonna have to let him know there’s a reason, you know, why this has all happened to us. And, uh, I got in the car and got him on loud speaker. And as I was driving back from this hospital, I was like, you’ll never guess what.

[00:44:22] Katie: And he went, you’ve crashed the car and. I was so angry that the first thing he said was, you’ve crashed the car. I was like, actually, no, it’s something much more serious . And I put the phone down on him. And I was like, so in shock that I wouldn’t answer the phone to him all the way back from this hospital. And he was ringing and texting, I’m sorry. What’s wrong? 

[00:44:41] Carla: Oh, no. 

[00:44:42] Katie: Typical man. All he cares about is curbed the alloys or something. 

[00:44:45] Carla: I know. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I mean, oh, it’s awful for blokes as well, because obviously I’m, I’m quite open and, and stuff like that, but boys, some boys are a bit more, you know, Danny’s like very, you know, quiet and just private, a lot more private, I suppose, than I am.

[00:45:06] Carla: Um, but you know, even when you’re trying for a baby, obviously the first thing they ask is for the men to. Do that .

[00:45:12] Katie: Give a sample.

[00:45:13] Carla: Give a sample. And I remember, I must have read it somewhere, I can’t remember, but they said, you’ve got 20 minutes to get it to the hospital and it’s gotta be warm. I don’t know if I’ve created this in my mind, but it was like,

[00:45:24] Katie: It’s true. It’s true we had to do it as well. 

[00:45:26] Carla: Well I literally got it off Danny. It was like relay, you know, relay at school. I remember like getting it off Danny and then tucking it under my arm, getting in the car and I drove all the way there with it under my arm. 

[00:45:39] Katie: Warm sperm in a cup n your armpit.

[00:45:41] Carla: In my armpit. Actually in my armpit.

[00:45:43] Katie: If anyone knew when you put the traffic lights. 

[00:45:45] Carla: I know. Then I couldn’t find the sperm place and I was like, like this. I didn’t move my arms cause I was keeping it warm and I rang the sperm woman, I wanna call her the sperm woman. But I rang the sperm woman and I was like, listen, I’ve got the sperm and I need to give it in.

[00:45:58] Carla: She was like, yeah, you need to come to this part. I said, but I dunno where that is. I’ll come down and get it. And it was a dead awkward meet, you know, like I looked her in the eye and I was like, this is wrong. Like I’m giving her my. My partner’s, she’s held my husband’s sperm. I don’t know if I feel okay about this , you know, , but, but that’s, you know, it’s so, so bizarre when you’re trying for a baby and everything. Yeah. Like all of these things you have to go through. 

[00:46:22] Katie: Yeah. Uh, I mean, poor Conner, he’s really private as well. But the funny thing was we did a private, we did that one with the hospital and we did a private one before that. So, um, we had to go to this, uh, private hospital where you had to do it on site.

[00:46:35] Katie: And to this day he swears he’s traumatised and he needs compensation for it, . Cause he went in this room and he said it was like a dentist chair. But it had been covered over with this big tissue, you know, so lotion is there. As soon as you walk in, it’s all covered. He said the room’s all like ready to be sanitised down as soon as you leave.

[00:46:54] Katie: And on the TV in front of this dentist chair was like this seventies porn. Oh. So it was like, it wasn’t even like nice, it was like, it was like laughable porn. You know? 

[00:47:06] Carla: Did they all have taches and curly hair. 

[00:47:08] Katie: And like full pubes 

[00:47:10] Carla: Flares.

[00:47:11] Katie: And, and he, he was like watching, he had to watch the horrific sperm and then, um, obviously. 

[00:47:16] Carla: Did, he managed to?

[00:47:17] Katie: He managed it in the end. He was like half of it shot across the room. 

[00:47:22] Carla: Oh no. 

[00:47:23] Katie: The sample he got was so small, . Um, and he was really mortified about handing this sample in that looked like there was hardly anything there. And he didn’t wanna admit the other half it shot across. 

[00:47:33] Carla: Yeah, I did do it. It’s over there. You might slip on it, but yeah. Oh no.

[00:47:38] Katie: Yeah. I mean, poor, poor guys who have to do this, you know, to get your answers basically as well. 

[00:47:45] Carla: I know, but part of your like, as, as a woman, like part of you is like, you wanna get to the bottom of it, but you also don’t want it to, to feel like it’s you either. Sometimes. So you are like, well him, maybe it’s him, you know, maybe it’s him.

[00:47:57] Carla: Please be him. 

[00:47:58] Katie: Have to explore all angles first.

[00:47:59] Carla: Yeah, I know. And you have to do it, you know, sometimes it’s just, I mean, you can also with, with sperm, you’ll know about this with. Well, with the health side of things, you can get it, um, you can get healthier sperm, can’t you? By being healthier.

[00:48:13] Katie: Yeah hundred percent, like both the woman and the man, um, can improve the quality of the egg in the sperm by living a healthier life.

[00:48:21] Katie: Um, that’s why there’s more pregnancies just after dry January, I think a made up statistic. After you’ve had a good stint with no alcohol, good quality sleep, you’re eating a good balanced diet. Um, and obviously there are vitamins and supplements you can take. And, uh, especially there are, I mean, I spent 50 quid on some for Connor when we were waiting for these sperm results, just in case.

[00:48:43] Katie: I was like, take them just in case. Um, I think he took one and then he was dead adamant, like he didn’t need them. So this, there were a waste of money in the end, but a healthier life does lead to healthier sperm and egg, which obviously increases your chance of conception, but also makes a healthier, um, you know, there’s, there’s a healthier connection there.

[00:49:04] Katie: So the embryo, et cetera, has much stronger chances of being healthy and genetically, you know, sound. So, um, There are also supplements you can take, um, because we laughed in with the other day about this geriatric pregnancy word. Um, as you get older, your egg quality diminishes. You’ve got all your eggs from the moment that you’re born.

[00:49:27] Katie: So a female baby has their eggs in the womb, their own eggs before they even enter the world. And that’s your lot. That’s all you get for your whole life. So every time you have a period, you’re losing an egg and the eggs that are left are getting older. So there are supplements that you can take as well that preserve your egg quality.

[00:49:44] Katie: So as soon as I realised I was trying for a baby at like 37 or whenever it was, I started taking these supplements. Cause I was like, these eggs need to stay fresh and healthy. Um, so I think all of that helped because when my coil went, as I say, I was pregnant immediately. And then after the miscarriage, I did get pregnant again quite quick.

[00:50:00] Katie: So I, I put it down. I’m obsessed with supplements. I put it down to all the different vitamins I was rattling. Um, so yeah, eventually I got there, but yeah, you can improve it. But, uh, yeah. What made us laugh wasn’t it, was that we were both, both classed as geriatric mums. 

[00:50:16] Carla: Oh yeah. I know. And almost like to the point where they were saying, do you want to sit down, you know, like, I like you got a bad back. I know. Oh, look at this older mum. Look at this older mum. 

[00:50:28] Katie: Yeah, we’ll get, you, get you straight in with, so they put, they put you under a consultant, don’t they? 

[00:50:32] Carla: Yeah, yeah. Older. Yeah. 

[00:50:34] Katie: And I remember going to my consultant, uh, for the first meeting or whatever it was, and I remember them being like, Right.

[00:50:42] Katie: Um, yeah. I don’t why you are here. You’ve got no health issues. And I was like, oh, I think it’s cause I’m older and they were. Oh yeah. Well that’s the reason. So I mean, I appreciated it because I’d had a miscarriage, this consultant really looked after me. You have more scans, you’ve got a little bit more contact with the hospital, you’ve got a bit more reassurance, haven’t you?

[00:51:00] Katie: Um, and obviously it is important to monitor different things. Um, they had to put me on aspirin. Did they do that with you? 

[00:51:06] Carla: Yeah, I just took that anyway actually because I’d read quite a lot about that if when I think I took that while I was trying to conceive actually. Uh, yeah, I don’t, you’d obviously have to speak to your doctor about that.

[00:51:17] Carla: But I actually, I did take a low dose of aspirin and I continued right the way through up to, I think, was it 38 weeks? Cause at the C-section they don’t want you to continue it do they? Cause you can bleed. Yeah, a lot. Yeah. 

[00:51:29] Katie: Just for me. They just said stop. I think it was like 48 hours before. Yeah, but because I was 40 whilst I was pregnant.

[00:51:36] Katie: I think you’ve got an increased risk of clots, haven’t you? And that was the only thing taking the aspirin that was different from my pregnancy when I was younger. Um, but having a consultant gave me peace of mind. But you go to the consultant because you’re a geriatric mum though. Yeah, I think they’ve started trying to change the terminology cause a lot of people got insulted by it, didn’t they?

[00:51:56] Carla: Yeah, I know, I know. 

[00:51:58] Katie: Advanced maternal age they, they call it as well. So. 

[00:52:01] Carla: Well, when I went to these, when me and you have been to these baby groups, I was saying to you, I look around, I mean, maybe, maybe, maybe this is what happens when you get old though, is that you look around and you think I’m the same age as all these, like, you know, but I do it on Love Island, you know, when I’m watching Love Island, I think, yeah, I’m the same age as them, but then I’m actually, you know, I’d left school before they were born.

[00:52:22] Carla: Yeah. But I think I’m the same age as everybody. But when I was at that baby group the other day, I was like, look around thinking I’m not old, but yeah. 

[00:52:29] Katie: Well, life’s changed, hasn’t it? We we’re all able to, preserve our looks for a lot longer, aren’t we? 

[00:52:35] Carla: Yeah. Well thank you. Botox. Yeah, .

[00:52:38] Katie: I mean, I haven’t had any Botox for 18 months through being pregnant and breastfeeding. I’m, oh, come on, look at the forehead. 

[00:52:44] Carla: I know.

[00:52:45] Katie: So used know

[00:52:46] Carla: Oh I am not saying I know cos you look..sorry.

[00:52:49] Katie: I know I look fucked, I’ve got eye bags. Like, like 

[00:52:53] Carla: No honestly you look great. I, I want my Botox but I’m putting it off till after Christmas cause I feel like New Year new me. 

[00:53:02] Katie: Well, I like, I had one of those moments, I was like, I’m gonna stop breastfeeding cause I need Botox. Yeah. And, um, then I was like, no, but my baby loves it.

[00:53:11] Katie: And he’s, he’s happy and that’s his nourishment and he’s healthy and growing. So, uh, one of my other friends said, you can pump and dump. Well, I haven’t heard of this, so you can’t by the way. I don’t think you can. Um, but, so I went, I booked an appointment. And I went for a Botox consultation and I said to this girl, right, I’m ready.

[00:53:31] Katie: You know, I’ve been pregnant. Look at the state of me. I look knackered. Help me out here. I’m up three times in the night. And she said, right, okay. This is great. I’m gonna do this Botox in a minute. Uh, doing a consultation. Oh, you breastfeeding. And I said, yeah, but don’t worry, I’m gonna pump and dump. And she, she went, whoa.

[00:53:46] Katie: She said, I can’t, I can’t do it. Now you’ve told me that. She said the, there’s no research as to whether you can have Botox when you’re breastfeeding. So the advice is just not to do it. Mm. And for a minute I was like, well, I’m gonna book with someone else cause I know people who have, and then in my head I thought, no.

[00:54:02] Katie: Do you know what you can take being a little bit more wrinkly? 41 years old. For the sake of your baby’s health. 

[00:54:08] Carla: Oh yeah. No. And it’s just, it’s just, you just wanna feel normal, don’t you? Uh uh, you just wanna feel good, but yeah. I mean, and you look great to me, so I don’t think you actually need it. . Um, but yeah.

[00:54:21] Katie: Is that, why has it stopped me getting all the lines? 

[00:54:25] Carla: Maybe, maybe. 

[00:54:26] Katie: Botox wasn’t, um, when I had my first son, Botox wasn’t really a thing. Nobody did anything. We had those skinny eyebrows, no eyelashes. So when I had my son, I didn’t really, I, I just felt tired and, you know, a little bit frumpy for a while.

[00:54:41] Katie: But when I had Clay 13 years later, society, oh my God. The shift. You, like, you’re so used to having like, your lashes, your brows done. Well, not, maybe not everybody does, but I was. Mm-hmm. I, I’d done everything to make my life as easy as possible, being a personal trainer so I could just get up and go to the gym without putting any makeup on in the morning.

[00:55:00] Carla: Mm-hmm. 

[00:55:01] Katie: And, um, you’ve got Instagram, you’ve got Facebook, all these things like that make you more aware as well. It’s totally different having a baby now. 

[00:55:11] Carla: It definitely is, especially when someone asks, like when your due, when your baby’s like in the car and you’ve already had it. Oh, oh yeah. When are you having the baby again?

[00:55:22] Carla: You’re like, yeah, had them, don’t worry. Yeah. Had them just still enjoying a bit of, you know, eating what I want and stuff. I mean, the thing is, I think society now, I just decided this time I’m gonna take my time. Getting back to how, getting back, I’m still going. It’s been a year. Um, but I just think it’s just about life’s for living, isn’t it?

[00:55:40] Carla: Certainly Covid has made me realize I like food, I like alcohol, and I’m gonna continue and I like it as long as, as long as I’m being healthy in other areas, you know, you know,

[00:55:52] Katie: It’s balance. 

[00:55:53] Carla: Absolutely. Yeah. 

[00:55:54] Katie: There’s no point depriving yourself long term of anything. Like obviously if somebody wants, needs to lose weight to be healthier or they need to take action, then there can be a short period of time where you do do things, make steps, don’t drink for a month or whatever it is to, to. Speed things along a little bit, but after that you’ve got to get back to a norm, haven’t you? Of balance? Yeah. The same after a pregnancy, it’s like, how quickly do I get back to this, this norm where I’ve got more balance? And I’m a hundred percent with you. I’m in no rush. I wasn’t one of these personal trainers doing these overhead barbell squats with a big bump.

[00:56:31] Katie: It didn’t feel right to me. So I actually tapered my exercise off after my second trimester to just going for walks with the dog. Yeah. And now it’s like the same. Slowly, slowly tapering it. 

[00:56:43] Carla: I’m just starting for the first time ever. . No, I’m actually, my brother is actually just doing a little bit in the garage at the moment.

[00:56:50] Carla: Cause I’ve done my garage out. I’ve just been doing a little bit and getting, do you know what? It really does make you feel good, doesn’t it? Exercise.

[00:56:57] Katie: Mentally. You forget. When you’re not doing it, you forget how fresh and sharp it makes your mind feel. Mm-hmm. Cause you get into this like, oh, I haven’t got time for it and I’ve got the baby.

[00:57:09] Katie: The opportunity’s not there. And then all of a sudden you do some exercise and you go, whoa. It’s like a light switch has been switched on. But for me. I know. It probably is dopamine or whatever. 

[00:57:19] Carla: It’s, it is. That’s exactly it. It’s like yeah free high. Yeah. Just do a bit of exercise. Yeah. I have been enjoying it.

[00:57:27] Carla: It’s really good. Yeah. So Katie, I think we’ve, we’ve like been nearly an hour now of chatting and we could chat so much more. 

[00:57:36] Katie: So this is what happens when friends get together. 

[00:57:38] Carla: I know. I feel like we’ve got a lot more to talk about. So I think, you know, we should. Potentially kind of record another about a, we’ve got a few other bits and I’m really, I think for, for this season of 50 shades of Motherhood really important to me personally to have these mum chats because sometimes you can think, am I alone feeling like this?

[00:57:59] Carla: Or you know, you just question things, don’t you? And I think it’s a good way to catch up and also feel normal, you know, someone else to say, oh, I felt like that. And you’re like, oh, thank God. 

[00:58:09] Katie: Yeah, we’ve got, we’ve got plenty of opportunity to compare notes. And it’s nice for that, isn’t it? It’s nice to be able to compare notes with someone and go, yeah, my life is normal. It’s okay . 

[00:58:18] Carla: It’s okay. We’re, we’re surviving it just about. So yeah. Thank you so much Katie. Will you tell everyone where they can find you, um, so they can give you a follow. 

[00:58:27] Katie: Yeah, definitely. Well, best place to get me is on Instagram and my Instagram handle is, um, @ Coach with a k uh, underscore Katie.

[00:58:36] Carla: Brilliant. And as you know, you can find me my bump to number two, baby. Yes. So that’s where you can find me. And um, Katie, I think we should definitely catch up again very soon. 

[00:58:48] Katie: Yeah, yeah, I’d love to. And if anyone wants to message with things, they, they want to talk, they want us to talk about, like for example, if we’ve got a fitness or health related question or anything whilst someone again.

[00:58:59] Carla: Yes.

[00:59:00] Katie: We’re more than happy to answer those if that’s alright with you. 

[00:59:03] Carla: Yeah, that’s perfect. In fact, q and A are great because anyone wants to send anything in any bit of gossip, you know, that you want us to share about like, anything, you know, maybe a partner getting a snip or not getting the snip or you know, any particular topics you want us to talk about, let’s just talk about them.

[00:59:21] Katie: So even if you just wanna say, haha, cause that happened, or you know, yeah. Just comment on what we’ve talked about then I’m happy to, to chat. 

[00:59:28] Carla: Great. Well thank you so much Katie. 

[00:59:31] Katie: You’re welcome. Thank you for having me. 

[00:59:34] Carla: Thank you. 

[00:59:36] Carla: Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode of 50 Shades of Motherhood. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and I hope you did too.

[00:59:45] Carla: We’ll be back next week with more mum chats, more honest, raw, real, unapologetic, uncensored mum chats, and I can’t wait. If you enjoy today’s episode, don’t forget to hit that subscribe button so that you never miss an episode. And also, if you did particularly like this one, don’t forget to leave us a little review.

[01:00:07] Carla: It really does do us the world of good with our rankings for our podcast. And finally, if you have something that you wanna share with either myself or Katie, then please feel free to message us on the links at the bottom of this podcast. Anyway, we look forward to speaking to you next time. On 50 Shades of Motherhood,

[01:00:35] Carla: Are you looking for local pregnancy to preschool groups, classes, and lessons to go to with your children? If that’s the case, head over to www.mybump2baby.com where you can find the latest groups and classes in your local area. As well as that, if you are looking for financial advice, family law, advice, or a local estate agent, you can also access our family protection and legal directory www.mybump2baby.com/familyprotectionlegal.

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