So in one of my last blogs “Please tell me this happen to you too?” I told you about how I get obsessed with new things and the new thing I got obsessed with was the gym… Which sounds great right? I thought so too… It cost me over £150 in total forking out on a gym membership, new gym attire… and protein… because you can’t join the gym without protein right?
I have had quite a lot of messages off people asking when I am going to give you my update on how I got on in the gym… so here it is… it went a bit like this…
So I was all dressed in my sports direct gear ready to go and I even did a few stretches before leaving the house, I was soooo ready to attend my first gym class “Spinning”. I walked into the gym with my serious sports face on… The regular gym clique glanced over as I walked in the room, then carried on chatting away in their group. I just nervously had my face in my phone catching up on social media time whilst I can. I should have been using this time to adjust my bike but No…not me… I just assumed it would be fine. It was only once the class started that I realised the saddle was a tad too high for my short stumpy legs but I persisted as I didn’t want to look like a total idiot. My bum and fairy hurt like hell afterwards…and I limped out the class as cool as I possibly could quietly worrying that I could have done some permanent damage.
The next day was “Body Attack” I arrived a little late which meant…. my worst nightmare… the most uncoordinated lady on earth (me) was slap bang at the front of an extremely busy class… FFS. The regular “clique” were there too… looking at me like “ahhh here she is again another one who’s just joined, attending every class humanly possible” In my head I was an athlete and feeling very competitive but extremely worried about my lack of coordination. I can move my legs ok… and my arms… but when I’m asked to move them both together… oh dear god… I look like an idiot (and that is putting it nicely). Having a mirror facing me was awful but it did quickly help me discover that if I put a bum wiggle into each movement I looked slightly better. There was a point in the class where the instructor shouted those dreaded words “GRAPEVINE” the class started skipping to the side then back then to the other side then front, if that wasn’t hard enough they started waving their hands in the air… I got through it by running round in a circle with a slight bum wiggle… it was so embarrassing. The class was a great workout and even my ears sweated… but I felt like a dick and definitely looked worse.
Workout 3 was “Body Combat” as I was driving to the class… I spilt my water across my lady parts…(it didn’t help that I was wearing grey pants) I’m one of these people that when I have a spot… I tell everyone so they know I know…. So sure enough after a failed attempt at trying to lift my lady parts up to the dryer to dry myself I headed up to the class, I walked in LATE.. and took centre stage AGAIN… As I walked in I announced to the 44 people in the room.. that I hadn’t peed my pants… I had just spilt my water… some people laughed… some people smiled … and some just raised their eyebrows but I felt better for them knowing…
The next day I had spinning again so I made sure the bike was intact and my water lid was tightly fastened and I was ready to go… the class went surprisingly well. I weighed myself afterwards and rubbed my head whilst I wondered why after 4 days of hard work wasn’t I thin yet??
On my way to body conditioning I had to call into the shop to pick up a bottle of water but instead I accidently picked up a family size dairy milk … large bar of milky way and some squares and drove to the gym … I sat outside and rationalized in my head… “Now technically I’m at the gym.” I told myself and I scoffed all the food and then drove home… I felt so guilty…but weirdly still felt as if I had been to the gym.
…. And that was 5 weeks ago and the last class I attended. … Currently I’m obsessed with stuffing my face and the two don’t really go well together