How To Have a Positive Morning Routine as a Busy Mum

carla (00:00.01)
Hello everybody and welcome to my Bunch Babies expert podcast today. I am delighted to have the lovely Emma Benyon with me and we’re going to be talking about positive morning routines for busy mums and honestly if you saw me this morning you’ll know how much I need this. I was losing my mind. So Emma, hello, how are you? Hi, it’s so lovely to see you again. I’m really good.

Yeah. Oh, really. And so Emma, can you, would you mind telling our audience a little bit about how you help busy moms? Yeah, of course. So I am a self care and motherhood coach and educator supporting busy moms who are juggling all of those plates, school run, running their own business and also having a full time job and career as well, which I do myself, all of those things as well. So.

Yeah, so just through giving them the tools and techniques to move from that space of overwhelm into a space of having more balance and clarity. Oh, that’s terrific. So, Emma, you’ve got a little one yourself, haven’t you? Yeah, she’s now six. Well, I just hanged out. You never know. I had a podcast on here, a podcast quite a few years ago, didn’t I? Our little ones were only tiny then and now, look, you know, they’re all grown up with…

Attitude, mind bath anyway, if yours isn’t the same. A lot of sauce. Oh yes, definitely. I can imagine. So, morning routines, Emma. I mean, I bet you get a lot of moms that, you know, struggle with this. And to be honest, what I’ve realized is, if you start the day in a positive way, the outcome of your day can actually differ so much to what can be otherwise. So, would you mind sharing a few tips about…

starting your day in a positive way. Oh, right. Yeah, of course. I think you’re absolutely right in what you just said in terms of if we start our day in a much more calmer space with much more intention, however that looks, because we are busy. But if we’re starting the day in that way, then actually the outcome and how we move throughout that day is much easier. Often when we’re getting up in the morning, there’s so many things to do, isn’t there? Getting the kids out.

carla (02:23.95)
school, breakfast, dress, teeth, hair, then also getting yourself ready. Maybe you’re also going to work or maybe you’ve got other things to do afterwards. And so that kind of chaos of actually, oh my gosh, I’ve got all this to get done. Like in that time, often it can result in getting in the car now, get dressed, get your teeth done, can’t it? And quite, you know, everyone’s getting frustrated with each other. Everyone’s getting impatient. And then perhaps people aren’t doing what they should be doing in order to get everybody out of the house on time. Yeah.

So I think in order for us to make that easier, it’s all about making it easier for ourselves, isn’t it? And the more we do that, the more we get into that routine, the easier it’s gonna be every day. That doesn’t mean we’re gonna get it right every day because some days we are gonna be in a rush. Maybe we have to leave the house a little bit earlier or somebody overslept or something wasn’t dry or whatever it might be. Actually, that’s probably not achievable every day. But on the most part, if we work towards building that routine in a healthy way,

then actually it’s gonna make it easier in the long run. And if we do miss a day or it doesn’t quite go right on one day, well actually it’s like, okay, like that life happens and having that kind of like, okay, well actually let’s be kind and compassionate in this space because it is one day, it really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean that we can’t go back to that routine or try again tomorrow. The same as we would do with our kids, you know, if they were struggling with something or they were trying to build a routine and actually it’d be day by day, wouldn’t it? And we’d be very much encouraging and supporting them.

we need to do the same for ourselves as well. So one way that is really, really useful is to get ourselves prepared the night before. So we think about things like breakfast, having things out, ready to go. So my daughter, she has like a panne chocolate thing and a banana every morning. That’s what she has. And also that means that she can have it in the car if we are running late, which makes it dead easy. It’s sat in a bowl on the side, ready to go in the morning. And I do that every night.

So having things like that prepared, making lunches the night before if your kids are having lunches or if you’re making a lunch for yourself where you can, or even prepping some of it maybe while you’re making tea so that then actually in the morning you maybe just need to add a little bit or get a few bits together that actually it’s already prepared. That’s great. Yeah, I just think things like that and like having the school uniforms ready and maybe getting the kids to start to do that as well, but building up that routine with them as well.

carla (04:44.846)
that’s gonna take time. Like, can you make sure you’ve got all this ready to go in the morning? Having bags ready, your work bag, the school bag, even if it helps, you know, having the car packed as much as you can, you know, in the evening. And that preparation is really gonna help you when you get out of the house in the morning. But then also, if there has been that rush or however that morning has looked, even if it has been, you know, been really calm.

then resetting that intention for yourself when you get to where you’re going next. So if you’re going into then your job or maybe you’re going home and you’re starting to work on your small business or maybe you’re going out somewhere, actually just taking that time within those first five, 10 minutes when you get there, whether that’s in your car or at your desk or wherever, actually just resetting that intention. So even if it has been an absolute rush to get out of the house in the morning, you’re really giving yourself the opportunity to ground and calm your system.

ready for that next part of the day. And so those things, it’s starting to just add those little bits in and it’s not necessarily about adding tons to what you’re already doing. It’s looking at how it’s already working and actually, can I make this easier for myself? Because we all want things to be easy, don’t we? Yes. If it’s easy, we’re more likely to do it. So if we can make things easy and it can then become part of that routine that you’ve already got.

you know, getting things ready while you know, you’re making tea. Can you get this uniform out? Can you get your bag ready? Can we do this? Can we do that? Actually, it then starts to become that routine. I love that. Yeah. My little one, George, he in the morning, honestly, he’s like, so within a sail of, you know, like it gets out the shower. He has a shower every morning, which I think is a great way to start your day.

And he’s done that and he just, I know he stands there in silence, but you know, he’s just coming around. But then he takes a mile to get ready. And I know the morning’s got us a bit very stressful and I am guilty for kind of leaving things last minute, you know, like so.

carla (06:47.982)
is things you’re doing and I’m like, oh, I’m of those nice many people. You know, one of those people will be going to all kids’ birthdays and I’m calling a test -dutch that can’t be getting the way. So, I definitely need to kind of get some inspiration from myself because it’s just, for me, just got no concept of time sometimes. So, it’s just thinking before I say and planning before.

And I mean, you know when we’re talking about morning routines, I mean, some of you might be listening as you’re on maternity leave. You can still start your day in a really positive way with a routine, can’t you Emma? Definitely. And even that, you know, when we’re on maternity leave, it can be quite monotonous, can’t we? We’re just going through the days, we’re not really doing anything. We’re just there, especially when there is a newborn baby and we’re in that kind of newborn -like working everything out phase.

actually, we’d still need to build in that. We still need to make sure we’re eating breakfast, that we’re getting out of bed, that we’re moving our bodies. And so, we can start to add that in as well, you know, we get up at a certain time. It doesn’t mean we can’t have a lie in, you know, that’s… or however that works because I know that Isabella didn’t sleep really at all. And that’s, you know, impact of sleep and then also really impact our morning routine because then we’re not really…

getting up and getting moving, we can be quite lethargic and it take us quite a lot of time to come around. So he’s looking for those things that actually, okay, well that is gonna make me more likely to get out of bed. That’s what I need in order to get to that point. And a lot of it is gonna be trial and error and that’s okay. You know, let’s see if that works. If adding that bit in, does that help for me to then get out of the house on time? Does that help for me to start to build that habit?

And I think the thing, whether we’re on maternity leave or whether we’re juggling and the school run as well, or however all that looks, that actually we’re starting really, really simple. That’s not trying to do all of that in one go. That’s actually just adding part of it and build on that as we go through that. Otherwise, all that we’re doing is making things way more overwhelming and stressful than actually they need to be. And if we need to break that down, maybe we need to write a list of actually, look, this is all the things, just start to build those healthy habits.

carla (09:04.014)
These are the jobs that need to be done when we come home from school. Bags need to be ready, uniform needs to be ready, breakfast needs to be ready, lunches need to be ready. That’s what we need to do. And either one of the adults does that, whether that’s mum, dad, whoever, or whether the kids are also helping with that when they get to that age where they can help with that. And actually it’s not a hindrance of things that, it’s actually not helping the situation. But we’re starting with that simple, really.

clear list of actually, this is what we need to do, this is what is gonna make it easier for me and whether you pick off one or two of those things to start with and try or whether you do them all but just keep it really, really simple. I love that. Yeah, definitely. I mean, it’s so easy to me. I’m listening to this not for long because I stand in the kitchen watching, I did see, I think it was, could be making the sourdough but then it was there. You know, it’s little things like that, isn’t it? It’s just kind of…

Trying to fit in while you had it. If you haven’t got a lot of time or you feel like you’ve not had much time, trying to just see the gaps where I could have been doing something else and then you can sit down and freak out a bit. But something I’ve just introduced actually, me and my husband, I mean, I’m not saying it’s the work for everyone, but we’ve got a dumping ground room. I don’t know if you’ve got one in your house. It’s one of them rooms. Oh, that’s why you’re doing what you do.

So, I’ve got a room where, you know, one of them, the door closing and you know, all the washing is just… And so, we were letting them into a bit of a mess with that, but what we’ve done now is… because I don’t like talking in the morning much. I go upstairs now and from 7 to 8, I put all those clothes away and do any irony that needs doing and things like that and that has changed everything in our house. It feels…

a lot more smooth people if they need to go into that guest room I’m not cringing inside while you’re that small. Well it’s something as simple as that. It works for Danny because he doesn’t like putting away the clothes. And I like, you know, not talking to anyone who puts into your podcast in the morning. So that way, I suppose it’s thinking about things that work for you as a family, isn’t it? Definitely, because if it’s not going to work for you then there’s no point in doing it because it’s just adding to what…

carla (11:25.646)
didn’t need to be there in the first place, if that makes sense. We’re adding to that stress, we’re adding to that overwhelm, and actually these things should be taking that away and making our lives easier, not more stressful. And that is, it comes back to that trial and error, doesn’t it? Because you could have tried that and it not have worked. And actually, okay, well, let’s try something else. Maybe seven till 8 a .m. isn’t the right time for me to be doing that. Maybe it’s earlier or later or whenever that actually that’s gonna be of more benefit. So it’s coming out.

you know, when we’re talking about any of these things and introducing new things or changing things up that actually we’re coming from a space of let’s just try and see. And if it doesn’t work, that is okay. We can try something else. We can change it up. And actually, you know, when we start to add those things and maybe we are in a really good routine and then something else comes in and it’s like, ah, that’s not going to work today. Like how I normally do things is not going to work because of whatever. That actually then we can…

ease into that a lot more because we know we’ve already built that routine, but also because we’ve come at it from a space of being like flexible and going with the flow a lot more. So we’re not dealing with this kind of massive stress of everything is now not working because something else has come in that, you know, those things that just come completely out of the blue, maybe a kid’s sick or something’s got broken or you’ve not got your car or whatever might have come in that’s completely different.

to your day that actually then when those things do happen, because you have been coming out of space from being more flexible, that it makes that so much easier to deal with and navigate. Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And it’s because you kept on top of these things is one of the, that is your clean plan. Say for example, I said about the clothes this morning, I didn’t actually do it because I couldn’t and I was rushing out and went for a run actually. So it was kind of what it did, the exercise.

But because I’ve done it every other day, there was not really anything to put away today. So, that works. I suppose it’s just about being consistent and then the days that you can’t be, you know, it’s okay because I can go back to being consistent again tomorrow. You know, a bit like a diet really, when I go full off a diet. You know, I’m trying to be healthy and then I have a horrible day where I just binge eat and then thinking, right, I feel that’s it. It’s just putting myself back in and saying, that’s it.

carla (13:51.79)
Tomorrow’s a new day. Tomorrow, we’re gonna handle things differently. So Emma, would you mind sharing some tips for in the morning to start a morning a bit more positively? I know people talk about doing one. I mean, I know for many of us moms, you know, the thought of doing one while your kids are bumming around the house is just not doable. But obviously if someone does have a bit more time in the morning, how do you think we can use that time to have a positive start ourselves?

So I think within that, if we’re starting to build that routine and we think about that positive, like how do we want to feel good? I think often that word positive can be a bit like, have some quite negative connotations to it. So if we think about what’s gonna help us feel calm, what’s gonna set the intentions for the day, that actually, maybe it is while you’re brewing your morning cup of coffee, cup of tea, whatever it is, actually you’re just taking some really deep breaths, that’s really gonna ground us into the day.

So just, you know, place your hand on your heart and just take, close your eyes if it’s safe and comfortable for you to do so and just take in five deep breaths. That is gonna absolutely, as simple as it sounds, is gonna absolutely change things up because you are gonna feel so calm and centered in that moment. And you can come back to that practice at any point during the day as well. Just to reset. If we think about journaling and that can feel quite a big task for somebody, can’t it? Actually, we’re gonna sit there, we’re gonna do some writing, we’re gonna…

whatever, and actually it might feel like it’s gonna take half an hour, an hour, and actually it doesn’t need to take that amount of time. It can literally just be in the morning, setting your intention for the day. So what is my intention for the day? What are the barriers or roadblocks that I need to overcome in order to have that intention to achieve what I want? Whatever that looks like, it doesn’t necessarily need to be a goal. It could be that I just like a really calm day.

or I’d like to be able to do this today. It doesn’t need to be this massive goal setting exercise. But then also within that, looking at what happened yesterday that you can use to help you navigate that day better. And those three simple questions, whether they are done when you get up in the morning or I started journaling actually when I get to work. So the first five minutes, 10 minutes, I make my morning brew when I get to work and I just sit and I just journal.

carla (16:18.062)
for five minutes, that’s my intention setting. So it’s not necessarily when you get up in the morning and you’ve gone and got the school run to do that actually then it’s my time when I get to work as I get myself grounded into that space, ready for a full day of teaching, that that’s when I’ve started to do that practice. And that has just changed things up massively for me because often if we’re trying to do everything in the morning, it can feel like I’ve got to get all this done before I go out. Well, actually, how about we do it in that next stage after?

we’ve dropped the kids wherever they need to go, or we’ve done whatever we needed to do first thing in the morning. And then we can grind ourselves into that space. And if we think about the morning routine, like that’s the whole of the morning, not just seven till nine. When we go out, it’s all of those different stages. And it could be that, and again, this is all trial and error because what we’re talking about here is really those self -care practices that are gonna really fill up our energy tank for the day.

It could just be breathing. It could be listening to a podcast on the way into work or on your run or whatever it is that you’re doing. And all of that is interchangeable and has to be, as we’ve said with the Developing the Morning Routine, it has to be personal to you and how your life is right now. And that might change in a month, a year, five years in terms of what you do. There’ll be some practices that you might keep and do forever, but there’ll also be some that change as you go through your life too, or because of the need at that time.

might change then too. Yeah and that’s… and if it does change, it’s not that you’ve failed or that you’ve done anything wrong, you just kind of… it doesn’t work anymore for you and I think that’s a lot of it. As months, we can sometimes say, oh well, I didn’t do that and I’m a failure but maybe actually, it just didn’t work for you at that moment, at that time in the day and it’s time something else, like you said, doing all those things. I think a lot of the…

Books that I’ve read written by men actually, not to set it down for. You know, a lot of them, you know, all these seven things you want to do in the morning to like, be successful and I think to myself, I couldn’t do one of those in the morning, you know. So, sometimes, I think we can compare ourselves to other people that actually, their situation is totally different to all. So, it’s easy to look on Instagram and say, oh, she’s journaling this morning. She’s got shit together, you know, all of this, can’t you?

carla (18:40.59)
But actually, you know, it’s… They’re only showing you what they want to see. And it’s important to remember that. They’re not gonna show you when they’re losing their sub head. No, that’s really, really useful, Emma. So, would you mind just telling everyone where they can find… connect with you on a deeper level, work with you potentially, and a bit more about what you can help with.

Yeah, of course. So they can find me over on Instagram and Facebook at EmmaBenyon .coach. My website is EmmaBenyonCoaching .co .uk. I offer, oh gosh, a range of different things, but actually the thing that I’m most excited about at the moment is my one -to -one pocket coaching where busy moms can access coaching through voice notes and messages. So rather than having to sit there for an hour or however long in a video call,

where there are probably multiple distractions, might have had to reschedule a number of times because of childcare, et cetera, et cetera. And actually we come into the meeting and we can’t focus because there’s all these other things happening that actually they can access that coaching support when they need it throughout their day. So I’m really excited about that because actually that is going to help so many moms to have that support as and when they need it in a way that works for them. And that is something that I’m so passionate about that we…

we get access to that support and we’re able to live our lives in a way that works for us, not some prescription, you know, prescriptive thing that someone else has said we should do or et cetera. So that I’m really passionate about. So that is – Because that squeezes into people’s gaps, doesn’t it? Yeah, it does. That’s perfect. It does certainly. So yeah, I’m so excited about that and moving forwards with that as well. So there’s that, this other normal one -to -one coaching via Zoom as well. And all of that’s on my website.

There’s also the Self Care and Motherhood Edit podcast where you can listen to me talk more about some of the things that we’ve talked about in this podcast. And also there’s some on -demand courses as well. So again, so that we don’t have to sit in a live workshop or course, there’s some on -demand courses as well. So the mums can just access them as and when they need and there’s going to be more of them coming throughout the year as well.

carla (20:56.206)
Oh, that is so exciting. I love that. And we’ll put all of them as links underneath his podcast. So please check her out. Give her a follow as well. And, Edna, you’re just fantastic. I think that I need you in my pocket all day, every day. I love the idea with that, Edna. He’s brilliant because a lot of us can put ourselves cared and all of that. I’ve not got time at the moment. I’ll do an X -Mod. This is a good base level. Everyone’s got a character voice, don’t they? Honestly, they have.

So, yes, Emma, thank you so much. Thank you!