Jen is a certified mindset and confidence coach, who specialises in working with women who have started to feel stuck or lost in their lives. Through 1:1 coaching Jen will explore with you, how you can move from feeling stuck or lost, to feeling like you know who you are, what you want and how you’re going to get it so that you can feel confident in your own skin and know that you are living your best life. Jen can be found on Instagram @jensmollett or on Facebook on her business page @jensmollett or inside her free Facebook group – the Fulfilled Women Collective. Today Jen shares a blog with MyBump2Baby readers called 6 Steps to a More Confident You.
I used to look at other women and wish I could be more like them, slimmer, more stylish, more organised, more sorted, more confident. I would ask myself why I wasn’t more like them? In the world of social media, with our phones always on us, we are moments away from seeing how everyone else is living their best lives.
6 Steps to Being a More Confident YOU!
We know that social media is just a highlight reel, just the best bits of other peoples lives and yet we still find ourselves comparing, don’t we? And your life will never be as “perfect” as the people you have on your social, right?
In my time working as a life coach, coaching women to feel more confident in their own skin I have an insight into many women who look like they have it all, yet deep down, feel exactly how you feel, and how I used to feel.
I say used to feel, not to show off, but to let you know what’s possible. It is possible to feel confident in your own skin, it is possible to even like who you are – I promise!
But how I hear you ask! By following these steps
Figure out what matters most to you
start by exploring what your core values are. Your core values are like your north star, they can guide you in all areas of your life to make sure you are living it in a way that is aligned with who you are at your core. (You can download a free workbook here ).
Explore who you truly are – not who you think you should be.
Yes, you might be a Mum, but you’re also a woman who has other things they enjoy and want to do, as well as be a Mum. If you’re ready to be part of a journey with other women who are exploring who they are too, then join my free Facebook group here
Use things that happen in your life as learning opportunities.
Whether it is a good or bad thing that has happened, you can learn a lot about yourself and how you want to live your life if you take some time to reflect properly on these opportunities.
Notice your strengths, skills and qualities.
As humans, we naturally have a bias towards noticing negative things (it’s part of how we are wired for survival, to look out for the threats to our safety!). You can counterbalance this, by actively looking out for the positives, and in particular the positives about yourself, for example ‘I’ve given my little one lots of cuddles today, I’m noticing how caring and nurturing I am’ or ‘Although it was really stressful when my toddler had a meltdown in the middle of the supermarket, I managed to not shout’. They can be simple things, and if you need to, maybe ask someone you trust to help you identify some.
Write yourself a mantra.
Bear with me here, I know it sounds a bit crazy, but given the negativity bias we have, having a mantra can help to tip the balance. Though it’s really important that you believe your mantra (if you don’t believe it, research has shown it can have the opposite effect of drawing your attention to a negative that will in turn, make you feel bad). An example of a mantra is ‘Every day I do my best’ or ‘I’m a loving, caring person and I’m generous to others’.
Keep a proof journal
Keep notes, either in your phone or written in a notebook, of all of the proof you come across that you are a good person. Did you make someone smile today? Write it down. Did you do something for someone else? Write it down. Did someone give you a compliment? Write it down. When you’re feeling a dip, open your notebook, or the notes on your phone and read the proof that you are a good person.
You’ve got this! You can be you AND a good Mum, or you can be you AND a good business owner. You might also find, when you really get to know yourself, that you start to like yourself and start to feel confident in your own skin.
If you would like a copy of my free workbook ‘What Matters Most’ then click here. And if you’d like to join other like-minded women who are coming together to support each other, then head over to my free Facebook group.
I look forward to seeing you in there.
Carla is the founder of MyBump2Baby. Carla has a huge passion for linking together small businesses and growing families. Carla’s humorous, non-filtered honesty has won the hearts of thousands of parents throughout the UK.
She has previously written for the Metro and made appearances on BBC News, BBC 5 live, LBC etc. Carla is a finalist for Blogger of the Year award with Simply Ladies inc. Carla is also the host of the popular Fifty Shades of Motherhood podcast and The MyBump2Baby Expert podcast.