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10 Financial Moves Every New Parent Should Make

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MyBump2Baby is proud to work with trusted financial advisers throughout the UK, raising awareness around the importance of protecting your family. To find your nearest local trusted adviser head to our family protection directory.

Having a baby is an expensive decision, as a new parent it can be extremely daunting to work out how much everything is going to cost you. That’s why at MyBump2Baby, we have decided to provide you with a list of 10 financial moves that you should make as a new parent. 

Get a Will

It’s important to have a process in place in case anything were to happen to you. Along with where you’d like your money to go, your will should also state a legal guardian of your little ones, so you know they’ll be cared for in the best way. It’s a good idea to talk to the person/people that you plan to assign the role of legal guardian to, so that your will is easier to execute in the future should anything happen. A will can be updated at any time in the future, so you can add to it if you have more children or your circumstances change. 

Invest in Life Insurance

If you haven’t already, then consider taking out a life insurance policy. It will help you and your family in the long run. As parents we pay for a lot of things, so it’s important to weigh up all of your financial responsibilities and consider how it easy it would be to take care of them in your absence.

Budget your income and outgoings

Set yourself a household budget. Many expenses come with a baby, you have to buy nappies, milk, clothes, prams, and many other things. It’s a good idea to budget early and unfortunately accept that you may have to lay off your favourite perfume for a while. Also think about the difference in ongoing costs and one time costs, for example, you’ll need to buy nappies for a few years, but a pram will be a one off purchase every now and again.

Have an Emergency Fund

Once you’ve worked out a new household budget for your family, you can build an emergency fund, which means you have a safety net just in case you suffer from a financial burden. You should aim to sort an emergency fund to cover 6-12 months of living costs. If your family is reliant on one income, we cannot stress enough how important it is to consider building up an emergency fund. 

Track your Spending habits

Whether you’re going out for lunch next week, or you’re purchasing your baby’s first car seat, you need to keep your receipts and stay on track with where your money is going. There’s nothing worse than when you’ve forgotten how much you’ve spent and all of a sudden a whopping £300 leaves your bank account, so don’t fall into that trap. 

Plan your maternity

Plan your maternity/paternity leave well. Work out how much leave you’re entitled to and have a good read for your company’s policies. It sounds boring but it’s actually really important for your household’s finances. 

Prepare for the Worst

Add your child to your life insurance policy, it will help your child in the long run. It’s important because if anything were to happen to you, then you know that your child and your partner (if you have one) are not left in a bad situation financially. 

10 Financial Moves Every New Parent Should Make

Childcare Costs

Plan for childcare costs. If you’re working full time, it’s highly likely that you’ll have to pay for a nursery or childminder to look after your child. It’s important to ensure that your child feels safe in their nursery environment, so that should be the main priority for you. Childcare can be expensive, so you must research into what works for you. 

Saving Money

Try and save some money up for when you retire. No matter what age you are, saving for your retirement is incredibly important and it means there’s one less thing for you to stress about when it does arrive. It’s helpful to have a savings account which you can pay into as well as your pension scheme. 

Future Education

Start saving for your child’s education. You might want your child to go into a private school, in which case you’ll need to research the costs that are involved with this process, and take into account that it’s not just a one off payment. Also, if your child wants to go to university in the future, depending on your household income, you may need to help them out with finance along the way. We know it may seem like a lifetime away right now, but they really do grow up so fast. 

We really hope that our financial tips for new parents have been helpful for you. If you need any help, please visit the financial area on our website or don’t hesitate to contact us directly.

Three Top Tips for Your First Trimester from The Birthing Coach Bournemouth

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This is an expert article from our expert coach Tanya Bunting  Tanya Bunting is a birthing coach based in Bournemouth. Today Tanya shares her three top tips for your first trimstester. If you would like to to learn NLP and Hypnosis for a relaxing pregnancy and a comfortable birth visit her website

Three Top Tips for Your First Trimester

 I’ve lost count of the number of times that my pregnant colleagues or clients have noted how tired or sick they are feeling in the first trimester and each time I hear them; I remember it well!

If you’re currently pregnant, I’m sure you remember that moment when it suddenly dawned on you that you might be pregnant. Maybe you missed your period or maybe, like me, you noticed a few tell tale signs that got you thinking.

 

Morning Sickness in the first trimester

Almost 30 years later, I clearly remember an uneasy tummy on route to college. It wasn’t the sort of tummy upset that turns you off your food, in fact it lured me into eating a British Rail Breakfast from the buffet car. After a few days, the nausea hit before I left the house so having decided that I must be ill, I phoned in sick and skipped a day from teacher training college. I was dozing in my bed when I suddenly realised it was morning sickness. With that, I was up and out, running to the chemist at top speed with a full bladder and returning home to confirm a positive pregnancy test within the hour. Lucky for me, the nausea subsided after the first trimester; unlike my second pregnancy when it continued until my daughter was born and required me to leave my classroom on a regular basis. If only I knew then what I know now…

Richard Bandler, Co-Creator of Neuro Linguistic Programming [NLP], teaches his students and clients to recognise their feelings. He notes that e-motion is energy moving; and, that the Vagus nerve that wanders from the brain into the organs in the neck, chest and abdomen has so many nerve endings that we are able to sense the direction in which the feelings are moving. So much so that you can recognise the direction and shape of the feeling. To combat unwanted feelings in NLP, we teach people what they can do to instantly reduce or stop the feeling. So, the next time you feel nauseas you can:

 

 

Top Tip 1: Dissolve Discomfort & Reverse the Feeling of Morning Sickness

 

  1. Notice the feeling inside your body. Where does it start? How does it move? Which direction does it spin? [Clockwise? Anti-clockwise? Forwards? Backwards?] To realise this easily, spin your hand in the four directions and sense which spin “fits” best with what you’re feeling inside.
  2. Slow the feeling down. Notice how you can make it STOP!
  3. Now, spin it the opposite way and notice that discomfort dissolve.

 

The term Morning Sickness is misleading as it can occur at any time of day or night! It also affects people differently. Whilst some Mums can just get on, others have more severe symptoms and may even need to avoid certain foods or smells that exacerbate the symptoms. If you have noticed certain trigger foods, you can use the next NLP strategy to switch your thoughts to something more comfortable.

 

I guess that if you remember a food or activity that makes you nauseas now, there will be a picture, sound or smell associated with it. If you dwell on it, the feeling gets worse, does it not? So, not only can you slow down, stop and reverse the spin; you can also swop the picture, sound or smell to something more palatable using another NLP technique called the swish pattern.

 

Top Tip 2: Swish Pattern: Switch a negative to a positive in 5 Easy Steps

 

  1. Notice the picture that forms in your mind when you feel nauseas [e.g. roller coaster or trigger food]
  2. Remember a picture that makes you feel comfortable [e.g. a calm place or a favourite meal]
  3. Bring up the “Nauseas” picture in your mind and insert the “Comfortable picture” in the bottom left hand corner.
  4. Count to three and then gently swish the pictures quickly so that the “Nausea” picture shrinks down, and the “Comfortable” picture appears as life size in your mind. Do this 4-5 times. As you feel more and more comfortable; swish [or swop] quickly so that you rewire your neurology to focus on the good picture. Turn the colours up, notice any sounds or pleasant smells and notice how much better you feel.
  5. Now, notice the good feeling associate with the “comfortable” picture; gauge which way that feeling is spinning and make it spin faster and faster, noticing that any unwanted sensations can be replaced with a renewed feeling of comfort.

 

It’s also important to get plenty of rest because tiredness can make nausea worse.

 

The example above has been written to support you to swish from nausea to comfort. You can follow the same steps to swish [or switch] form any negative thought or picture in your mind to a positive. One of my Mums in her third trimester recently arrived late for a Painless Childbirth Session because she was tired and emotional and focusing on a negative aspect relating to her workload prior to going on maternity leave. When I spoke with her, she actually wanted to focus on the final preparations for welcoming her new baby into our world. So, we combined the two strategies outlined above by swishing the picture, stepping into the new picture in her mind, noticing how the feeling changed and then doubling the good feelings again and again.

 

Tiredness in the first trimester

 

It’s common to feel tired or even exhausted in pregnancy, especially in the first 12 weeks when hormonal changes can affect your energy levels and emotions. I remember falling asleep in my dinner and waking up when my husband attempted to take the plate away!

 

If you want to pace yourself, you can be mindful, Mumma. If you don’t already know, 20 minutes in trance is equivalent to 3-4 hours sleep. So, mindfulness, meditation or self-hypnosis will help you to re-energise throughout the day.

Top-Tip 3: Be Mindful, Mumma

 Mindfulness, Hypnosis and Meditation all work by going inside, slowing down your breathing rate and ultimately slowing down your brain waves.

The main difference between hypnosis and the other two is the mental processing that takes place during hypnosis as a result of the use of positive or direct suggestions. In a nutshell, when you’re in this altered state, your unconscious is much more susceptible to suggestions that you or a Clinical Hypnotherapist can make to support you to achieve what you want, instead of anything else. In your first trimester, you can use self-hypnosis to:

  • Improve your sleep pattern
  • Relax
  • Prepare for being a Mum
  • Maintain good energy levels
  • Induce relaxation and alleviate anxiety

 

You can also work with a qualified Clinical Hypnotherapist to:

  • Further manage morning sickness
  • Learn self-hypnosis in preparation
  • Establish better habits [if you’re giving up smoking and/or alcohol]

 

If you want to be more mindful, you can:

 

  1. Listen to a guided visualisation.
  2. Learn self-hypnosis.

 

If you want to learn NLP and Hypnosis for a relaxing pregnancy and a comfortable, you may want to get started as soon as possible, and preferably no later than 30 weeks gestation.

 

If you want to access my service, please visit my website at: tanyabuntingcoaching.org

 

Or, contact me directly on 07985415650 to share your hopes and dreams for your baby’s welcome to our world and I will share how I can help.

 

Warmest wishes

 

Tanya x

Safe Exercise During Pregnancy

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Today we have a guest post from our expert Sarah Hunter BSc. Sarah shares her expertise on Safe Exercise During Pregnancy. Sarah owns Chorley Pilates in Lancashire.

 

First of all, let’s just take a look at what’s happening to your body.

Some really incredible things happen to your body during pregnancy. It has to adapt, not only to accommodate the baby growing inside you, but also has to prepare for the birth. So, we’re going to have a little look here at what your body has to cope with, and why, so that you can really understand the importance of exercising safely and adapting what you do as your pregnancy progresses.

During the first trimester, us mums experience a whole variety of different symptoms. Maybe you have/had morning sickness and exhaustion? One of the first hormones to start flooding your system causes the blood vessel walls to relax and become more elastic. This is to prepare the body for the extra blood volume it will need later on. But in the early days, you don’t have that increased blood volume, it hasn’t caught up yet, so you might feel faint, exhausted or dizzy and your blood pressure usually drops. You also start to develop a resistance to insulin. This makes your body store more fat, so that bit of weight gain, (7-11lbs) is perfectly normal in the first few months.

Safe Exercise During Pregnancy

What does this mean for exercising in the early days? If exhaustion is really causing you problems, (and I hold my hand up, I absolutely needed that nap when I got in from work!) then maybe look to exercising at a time of the day when you have more energy. Listen to your body and rest when you need to. Aerobic activity is fine, if you feel up to it, so aim for around 15-30 minutes of activity up to three times a week. Muscular conditioning will help to keep your posture in check and prevent back pain. Just be mindful of changing position quickly and making yourself feel dizzy.

Some people (that can be friends, relatives and partners) may worry that exercise may be too demanding for you or could even harm the baby and cause a miscarriage. The best thing to do is to talk to your doctor or midwife. If you have had previous miscarriages, or a family history of them, then it shouldn’t stop you from exercising full stop, but you should definitely get advice and reassurance from a health care professional before continuing or taking up something new. Many studies have proved the benefits of safe exercise during pregnancy for both mum and baby, and none so far have found any detrimental effects on a healthy person.

As your pregnancy progresses past 12 weeks, you start to enter the second trimester and a host of new things are happening. It’s very exciting and you might begin to feel that pregnancy glow. Your blood volume has finally caught up and your energy levels rise again.

To adapt to the increasing weight of the growing baby, your lower back starts to arch and the pelvis tips forwards. Back ache is common but corrective postural exercises can help to counteract any discomfort. It does, however, mean that your centre of gravity has changed. The hormone, relaxin, is also surging around your body making all your joints more flexible and less stable. Now is the time to think about reducing the risk of falling. Contact sports, high intensity exercises or high impact exercises are not advisable now. The placenta is placing a high demand for oxygenated blood and nutrients on your body. Over training could, potentially, reduce the necessary amounts being carried to your baby.

Switching to lower impact activities such as cycling, walking, cross-training, Pilates, Yoga and swimming will give you all the aerobic exercise you need without putting undue stress on your joints. Now is also the time to work with lighter weights and to stop exercising on your back. When we lie down, all that weight from the bump presses down on important blood vessels which could reduce the flow of oxygen to your baby.

Taking a bit longer to warm up and cool down from your session will be very beneficial and prevent any unwanted hikes in blood pressure.

At 27 weeks you’re on the home straight! The third trimester is here, and your bump is coming along nicely. So much is happening now. As baby grows, you have to make room. Your ribcage is pushing outwards, your internal organs have miraculously rearranged themselves, your tummy muscles have stretched so far that they have stopped being able to contract and you have the best cleavage ever!

This does mean that now you might start struggling for breath again. Breathing exercises are so important. I strongly encourage all my clients to practice their breathing exercises at home. Not only will it help to keep your energy levels higher, but it’s also great practice for the delivery room and calming down those nerves.

You were probably wondering when I was going to get around to mentioning the pelvic floor. Well that is going to be a whole topic in itself. The sooner you start learning how to do them the better. There is so much weight and strain on them during pregnancy. Keeping them toned could help to an easier birth and a quicker recovery with less risk of damage.

Postural strengthening exercises are really important now too. Only use light weights and avoid working from overhead or lying down. Stretching the hip flexors can assist in reducing tension in the lower back but as your ligaments are very elastic, only gentle, maintenance stretches are advised.

What happens if my pregnancy isn’t all plain sailing?

I have yet to meet anyone who didn’t have some kind of issue develop during their pregnancy. For myself, I discovered that I have a gene which gives me thick blood and had to wear delightful thigh high, white support stockings through the entire third trimester. Not much fun in a June heatwave or when you can’t even reach your feet!

A qualified antenatal exercise instructor will be able to make any necessary adaptations to minor ailments (although they might not seem minor to you at the time) like carpel tunnel syndrome, pelvic girdle pain etc.

There are some conditions which would rule out exercising altogether, ruptured membranes, persistent bleeding, incompetent cervix to name but a few. But if you are unsure about anything, speak to your midwife. They are there to support and assist you through this whole process and they are absolutely amazing.

Any instructor taking you on as a client should have you complete a health screening form specifically designed for antenatal clients. And they should keep checking in with you as the pregnancy progresses. Communication between you, your instructor and midwife is key to a happy, healthy pregnancy.

Pregnancy is not a barrier to exercise, so enjoy it.

Sarah x

To read more about Sarah and her fantastic business head over to her;

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Benefits of Having a Private Midwife

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Today we have an article from the fantastic Jordan Davis on a topic many expectant parents are curious about “What are the Benefits of Having a Private Midwife?”. Jordan is a Registered Midwife working in London, Founder of Curate Babies – a Natural Award wining skincare brand. She is also a certified Baby Massage and Baby Yoga Instructor.

In the UK, there are two types of practising midwives – NHS midwives and private midwives, also known as independent midwives. Independent midwives are effectively self-employed but remain under the same regulatory body as NHS midwives – which is the Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC). In addition to this, it is a requirement for independent midwives to hold ‘professional indemnity insurance’; legal cover for any practice they undertake as a midwife.

As you can imagine, there are some differences between our two types of midwives, but these may be of benefit to those considering hiring private midwives, to lead them through the most critical times in their lives; – let’s take a look below:

Building relationships

Having one to one care throughout your entire pregnancy and birth provides an excellent opportunity to build rapport and a good bond with your midwife. Unfortunately, with NHS antenatal care, it is brilliant, but women can end up seeing different midwives at each antenatal appointment which can become impersonal – having to explain your problems to different professionals can be exhausting. Throughout those nine months, you may encounter anxieties and concerns and have a surplus of questions, so who better to answer them than someone who practically knows you inside out?

Advocates for normality

Although midwives who work in NHS hospitals usually advocate for normality in labour and birth, most complex cases such as vaginal birth after caesareans (VBACs) and breech deliveries require input from obstetricians and then become medicalised. However, independent midwives see these as no different to healthy vaginal births. Many of these midwives have a wealth of knowledge under their belt and have become very experienced in twin births, VBACs and breech deliveries. Independent midwives usually deliver at home or private birth centres, but women can request for them to be present at their hospital birth as a birth companion.

Flexibility

The flexibility that independent midwives have with their antenatal appointments is undeniably, very beneficial for the women in their caseload. With NHS antenatal appointments, mothers-to-be only receive 20 minutes maximum to have an antenatal check, discuss concerns, ask questions and book a follow-up appointment. Being an NHS midwife myself, I can vouch for all my community and antenatal midwives by saying, we wish we had more time to answer all your questions and sit longer with you but protocols and policies say otherwise. Independent midwives run on their time, which means not only can they sit with you for as long as they can, they can meet with you wherever and whenever. For working mothers, antenatal appointments can be held in the evenings and on weekends, and these can be held in the home or in a more convenient location.

On call 24/7

Independent midwives are on call, basically 24/7. Whether women need reassurance at the crack of dawn or the late hours of the night, independent midwives can be contacted via email or phone. Women will usually be introduced to and cared for by two midwives who will be present at the birth to ensure familiarity and trust. Even if one midwife has to attend another delivery, there will be another professional who the woman already knows.

It is crucial for me to recognise and acknowledge the fantastic work of my fellow NHS midwives. They work tirelessly despite the constraints, stress and endless fatigue. Nonetheless, I hope this has been a helpful insight into the benefits of hiring independent midwives.

benefits of having a private midwife

 

If you would like to find your nearest independant midwife, please click here to have a look in our directory.

What are the Benefits of a ‘Natural’ Birth?

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Today we have an article from the fantastic Jordan Davis on a topic many expectant parents are curious to know “What are the Benefits of a ‘Natural’ Birth?”. Jordan is a Registered Midwife working in London, Founder of Curate Babies – a Natural Award wining skincare brand. She is also a certified Baby Massage and Baby Yoga Instructor.

Before delving into the benefits of ‘natural’ birth, I would like to dissect this commonly-used phrase. To some, the term ‘natural birth’ may hold different definitions. Many expectant and new mothers might deem a birth ‘natural’ if no pain relief or medical intervention was required during labour and delivery.

However, health professionals like myself and institutions including the Royal College of Midwives (RCM) and the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) use the term “normal” birth and define this as giving birth vaginally – following spontaneous onset of labour – without the aid of medical intervention or anaesthesia.  Here, the term ‘medical intervention’ would include inductions of labour (using prostaglandins, oxytocin drips or artificial rupture of membranes), epidural analgesia and/or assisted instrumental delivery.

So, now that we’ve looked at the technical side of things, let’s begin discussing the benefits of a ‘low risk’ normal birth:

Freedom of movement

Being low risk in labour provides you with the opportunity to pretty much, do as you like. As there is no need for continuous monitoring of the baby’s heartbeat, women are encouraged to mobilise freely and adopt the best positions to help with their progress. Positions such as being on all fours, squatting and rocking on birthing balls help to open up the pelvis and encourage baby’s descent into the world. Having your mobility restricted may impede the progression of your labour, so where possible – remain active.

What You Need to Know About Labour by MB2B

Better bonding

Providing that the labour and birth were straight-forward for mum, and the baby was born in good condition, the opportunity for bonding will occur immediately. Midwives encourage skin to skin within the ‘golden hour’ – the first hour of an infant’s life, where they begin to learn about life outside the womb and where bonding is critical. Without the side effects of anaesthesia or the need to be separated post-delivery, both mum and baby can concentrate on getting to know each other. Babies will be able to recognise their mother’s heartbeat and become familiar with her smell, voice and touch.

Getting feeding off to a good start

There are better chances of initiating adequate breast or bottle feeds when both mum and baby are well and in stable condition. The effects of anaesthesia and opioids in labour, as well as trauma during delivery, can affect how efficiently and quickly a baby begins to feed. From the maternal perspective, if a woman is still recovering from numbness or drowsiness, she may feel too weak and tired to initiate feeding. Also, experiencing a traumatic delivery can increase cortisol (stress) levels, which inhibits oxytocin levels – the hormone responsible for lactation. Side effects of opioids, where they are administered close to delivery, can cause infants to be more sleepy than usual, therefore making them uninterested and less likely to muster the energy it takes to have their first feed.

What are the Benefits of a 'Natural' Birth?

Maternal empowerment

Birth is a natural process and women have been bringing life into the world for thousands of years. However, with the hundreds of births I have been privileged to witness, the strength of each woman still amazes me. From the longest labours to the most precipitate deliveries, the process is humbling. For the mothers who thought they would need every drug under the sun, but then deliver naturally with minimal pain relief, the process is empowering for them. The look of relief, shock and amazement that can be seen on a woman’s face after she has a straight-forward birth reaffirms the fact that women are strong and can conquer anything.

 

Better recovery

Following a normal vaginal delivery, mothers are expected to recover easier than those who have had instrumental or operative deliveries. Midwives understand that women will be feeling delicate and fragile following birth, but trust us, it is for your benefit. Getting back on your feet as soon as possible does not just make you feel better, but it will allow your body to heal faster. Mobilising around the home, birth centre or postnatal ward will allow proper blood flow around the body, particularly to areas that may have sustained trauma.

 

Despite these benefits of normal birth, it is essential to remember that women should be open-minded during labour and birth and understand that health professionals will always want to prioritise the safety of both mother and child. Regardless of the type of delivery you have, the most important thing is healthy mother, healthy baby.

So What is this Hypnobirthing All About Then??

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We are really excited to share an expert article with you from the amazing Alexandra Gould a Hypnobirthing Practitioner for the amazing Mindful Mamma in Lincoln. She has an incredible 14 –  5 star reviews on her listing with us. Click here to read some amazing testimonials. Today Alex shares an article on a question many expectant parents have “What is This Hypnobirthing All About Then?”

So What is this Hypnobirthing All About Then??

 

A bit about me…

My name is Alexandra Gould and I am a Mindful Hypnobirthing Practitioner with award winning Mindful Mamma.

I’m also a qualified Midwife, Rebozo Practitioner and currently studying a Clinical Hypnotherapy Diploma.

Enough about me!

Now, let’s get down to busting a few myths about hypnobirthing shall we, and explain what its really all about?

Firstly, you don’t have to be a hippy, worship the moon, wear sandals, baggy clothes and listen to monks chanting (although what’s wrong with that? Personally I love a good Tibetan singing bowl).  Hypnobirthing, especially combined with Mindfulness can work wonders for preparing women and very importantly partners for childbirth. I want birth partners to also feel confident and view themselves as a well-equipped birthing coach.

And I mean ANY birth, not just home birthing. Even if you are having a planned caesarean section the techniques learnt in a workshop will help enormously. Before, during and after childbirth, especially breastfeeding.

So What is this Hypnobirthing All About Then??

In fact, the skills you will learn are transferable and can be adapted to just about any and all areas of daily life.

I have often heard women report that they felt as if they’d failed and that has to stop. For me that’s heartbreaking. I want couples to elevate their birth experience. To have as gentle a birth as possible with positive memories. After all its the most important event in a couples lives.

I want couples to feel awesome about their birth, because women are awesome and their physiology is awesome. I want a newborn to have as gentle as birth as possible. Calm Mamma equals calm baby and Hypnobirthing mums very often report back that little one is “so chilled out”.

Practitioners don’t swing a watch in front of you or ask you to “look into my eyes, not around my eyes, but deep into my eyes”, least I hope not!

It’s NOT stage Hypnosis, it’s a therapy that uses simple gentle elements of SELF hypnosis, along with other therapy techniques and effective breathing techniques, so no-one is controlling anyone. Techniques used depend on the practitioner, but will usually also involve aspects of Cognitive Behavioural Techniques (CBT), Neuro Linguistic Programming Techniques as well as visualisations. I want couples to have a variety of tools and skills to enable them to find out what works best for them, so it’s not at all prescriptive. Ultimately women deserve to feel safe and respected.

Empowering women to make the best informed choices for themselves, their baby and partner, so they no longer feel as if they are a passive by stander. This is what motivates and is it at the heart of my work, life and passion.

It’s not just deep relaxation although that’s obviously beneficial for a birthing mamma. There is so much more to it.

There is no universally agreed upon definition of Hypnosis and practitioners are likely to explain it in slightly different ways.

Some will explain it as reprogramming unwanted automatic, unconscious, autonomic responses. And I’m mainly talking about the fear and anxiety response here.

Fear is not a good bedfellow with childbirth. If fear and adrenalin kick in then we can get stuck in a fear-tension-pain cycle.

We’ve been programmed and conditioned to be fearful around birth.

As a midwife I have seen, all too often, women who are scared and tense.

It puts a brake on the production of Oxytocin which is the primary hormone to start and progress birth.

Oxytocin is referred to as the ‘Love‘ hormone as its produced by the body when we hug, when we feel safe, secure and private. And yes it’s produced when we make love.

So we absolutely want a woman to feel a `whole lota lota love’ I’m sounding like Cilla Black now!

The other aspect of Mindful Hypnobirthing is to remember it is a skill set. When these simple yet very effective techniques are used, it develops a really strong `Mindset’ in terms of positive attitude, self-efficacy, expectancy, excitement and focus so that a woman is able to be CALM, CONFIDENT AND RELAXED. When this achieved your body takes over and muscles work harmoniously and comfortably.

So if you’re an expectant Mamma, seriously consider committing to a One Day Workshop with me, it may well be the best thing you ever do in preparing for the journey towards childbirth and parenthood.

Remember….You are enough! You have the innate strength and resources to birth your baby.

Mindful Hypnobirthing helps you to access these abilities.

And I thinks that’s a good place to end this blog!

Nameste as they say ; ) Alex xxx

You can visit Alexanda’s website here.

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Let That Shit Go – 10 Tips to Help You Have a Positive Birth Experience

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Today we have a fantastic expert article written by the amazing Anna from Anna Robertson Hypnobirthing. Today Anna shares her top 10 tips on 10 Tips to Help You Have a Positive Birth Experience. You can find Anna’s Robertson Hypnobirthing in our pregnancy – pre-school directory.

Let That Shit Go - 10 Tips to Help You Have a Positive Birth Experience

 

I’m a hypnobirthing teacher and postnatal coach and my passion is empowering women to feel good in their choices, their bodies and their capacity to trust themselves and their intuition.

The first time I talk to a new client, I ask her to describe her ideal birth. And I want her to be as detailed as possible. That’s what we are aiming for, during the pregnancy with all the relaxation, visualisation and meditation. We are working towards an ideal birth. Our subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined. Therefore it makes sense that that’s what we focus on.

Certainly a significant proportion of my teaching is concerned with understanding this principle; if we want a positive birth we need to release negative beliefs and limitations and replace them with and focus on positive ones. Simple. Or is it?

Well actually, no. The thing about birth is that we are never completely in control and things can most definitely take an unexpected turn either in pregnancy, labour or both. So how do we then focus all our attention on our ideal birth but also remain aware and informed about potential other eventualities; so that if we are thrown a curve ball we can handle it by staying calm, grounded and relaxed?

Let That Shit Go - 10 Tips to Help You Have a Positive Birth Experience

Here are my top ten tips on childbirth;

 

Positive not perfect

Let’s strive for a positive birth experience not a perfect one. Let that shit go!

Release

On the subject of releasing, I believe it’s really important to work on releasing painful traumatic feelings and fears you may be holding onto. It could be about a previous birth, a fear of hospitals, or feeling disconnected from your body. The list is endless and unique to everyone. The point is these are the things that may affect your ability to feel safe enough to give birth. We have to release those thoughts, feelings and beliefs before we can fill ourselves up with the positive ones. There are lots of different ways you can do this. I find talking therapies and energy work very effective.

Intuition

Being connected to our intuition during pregnancy is so important. Including daily practices of mediation, yoga and journaling for example are all great ways to ensure this is happening. Why? Because if we are connected to our intuition and are thrown a curve ball during pregnancy or birth, we have a much better chance of being able to make a decision that really serves us and is for the higher good of us, our baby and our family. And the added bonus is that if you’ve never been in touch with your intuition before you may well discover what an amazing intuitive creature you are with a super power to tap into whenever the need arises.

Create alternative birth plans

Once I’ve talked to women about their ideal birth we discuss different eventualities. Curve balls. And by the end of our sessions together they have a clear idea of what a plan B and C might look like. One couple I worked with printed out their plan B and C birth plans and put them in an envelope in a drawer. That was their way of knowing they’d researched and planned for other eventualities so if things did take a different direction they would handle it. And once it was in that drawer they could put it to the back of their minds and focus all of their attention and positive thoughts on their ideal birth.

Be informed

Read the evidence based research. Be confident in the knowledge that you can make informed choices.

Speak up

Trust your instincts at all times. If the way you are being treated or spoken to doesn’t feel right then it’s not!

Make relaxation your top priority

Hypnobirthing provides you with a toolbox of techniques to keep as relaxed and calm as you can whatever the situation. The breathing techniques you learn for example can be used whenever you feel anxious. Just by breathing in through our nose we are activating the parasympathetic nervous system and producing oxytocin, our best friend. Yes breathing is very simple but it is very effective! Find ways to add in relaxation sessions in your week. Massage, reflexology and being in nature are all brilliant options. Believe me when I say you can’t relax enough right now.

Team work

I want you to see yourself as part of a team during your pregnancy and labour. Your team is made up of you, your birth partner (if you have one) and your caregivers. Like all teams everyone has a job to do that’s unique to them. What makes for good team work is lots of encouragement positivity and support from everyone, including you! We know that what we focus on grows so by being as positive and encouraging as possible and thinking good thoughts about your birth partner and caregivers can only be a good thing and contribute to a positive experience.

Positive environment for birth

We are mammals and we like to give birth the same way they do: in a quiet dark setting where we aren’t being observed. We need to feel safe. So take some time to think about how you can create this for yourself or if you have a birth partner this is a great job for them. I encourage the birth partners I work with to create a lovely, cosy, snug for the woman at home a few times a week. The birth partner can practice reading relaxations and hone their massage techniques. So these become like mini practise sessions for labour. And think about your senses, what can you have with you in labour that are like touchstones for you? To bring you back to yourself so you feel calm and grounded.

Mother’s wellbeing

The old saying that still gets banded about ‘as long as the baby is healthy’ is not helpful. It negates the importance of the mother’s care and wellbeing.

I believe that fostering a great relationship with ourselves from the moment we are pregnant, through birth and into motherhood is what’s really fundamental. If we’re ok, chances are everyone else is.

Visit Anna’s website to find out more about what she does

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How to Buy a Strapless Bra When you are Pregnant

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While pregnant, a lot of women like to wear dresses. They are usually made of soft material, so are usually comfortable. In the warmer months, it is nice to wear items of clothing that allow air to circulate over your body. This helps to keep you cool and dry.

This year, strapless dresses and tops are set to be particularly popular. Surprisingly, it is relatively easy to buy a strapless bra that you can wear comfortably, while pregnant. You just need to follow the advice we have put together for you, below.

Shop in the right places

One of the biggest issues you need to overcome is finding a strapless bra that is big enough. A lot of stores simply do not stock the sizes that are big enough for pregnant women to wear comfortably. Fortunately, Simply Be is there to fill the gap. They sell bras in cup sizes B to K and back sizes 28 to 48. That includes strapless and multi-way bras. So, they are a great place to start your search.

Getting the fit right

Regardless of what type of bra you are planning on buying, it is important to measure yourself before you go shopping. It is the only way to get the fit right.

When you are pregnant, your breasts usually start to grow bigger around the 4 to 6 weeks point. Typically, they continue to grow throughout the pregnancy. So, buying an outfit for a special occasion like a wedding can be tricky.

You need to allow yourself a week or two to find the right dress and have it adjusted. Once you have your dress sorted out, you will be able to buy your bra. If you take this approach, you should find that they both still fit by the time the date for the special event comes around.

Make sure it is adjustable

Ideally, you will want to be able to wear your strapless bra for a few months at least, and, ideally, after you have given birth. The best approach is to buy one that can be adjusted as much as possible.

Choose a soft material

When you are pregnant you may suffer from sore nipples, at certain points. So, it is best to look for a strapless or multiway bra that is made from cotton or a similar soft fabric.

Your nipples may also leak a little. Some women begin producing colostrum during the third or fourth month of their pregnancy. Bear this in mind when buying your bra and look for one that has enough space to enable you to slip a pad over your nipple.

So, as you can see, if you are pregnant and want to wear a strapless dress, this summer, you can. All you need to do is to follow the guidance above.

Recently, we also came across a new and innovative way to provide clothes for your baby from birth to 18 months. You just need to click here to read all about it.

How Do You Tell Your Toddler You’re Expecting?

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Ok… Now before you jump to any conclusions… NO I am absolutely not!!!

A big question that many parents ask is “how do you tell your toddler your expecting?”.

Telling your Toddler You are Pregnant

Many parents claim that the moment they tell their little one the exciting news about a future siblings arrival it has been a little….. disappointing! We all envision that the special announcement will involve a leap in the air, a fist pump and maybe even a tear of joy, but in reality, once many parents tell their little one the exciting news about the expectant new sibling, they are left with nothing but an array of difficult questions and little but no excitement. It’s not surprising really, I mean think about it, it must be a little difficult to understand that there is a baby growing in your mummy’s tummy. It can be hard for a toddler to process that they are now going to share their parents with another sibling. George seems to think Rambo the Cat is his brother so you can imagine how confused he would be if I told him I was expecting.

In addition to the million questions of “how, why and when” it can also be difficult to explain to a child why mummy is sick, tired or can’t do certain things anymore. Many children could see all the changes as a negative, when in fact we want to create positive relationships between siblings before he or she arrives.

So how can you prepare your toddler for your new baby in a positive way?

The great news is that there is now a book out there designed especially for this called “Let’s talk to Mummy’s Tummy”

How do you tell your toddler you're expecting 1

Let’s Talk to Mummy’s Tummy Review

This educational and positive book has been written by the talented Helen A. Lacey and beautifully illustrated by the wonderful Carla Moreno.

 The purpose behind the Let’s Talk to Mummy’s Tummy Book

The book has been designed to addresses potential concerns or questions that a child may have all in a positive child-focussed manner.

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Let’s Talk to Mummy’s Tummy Book

When you open the book you will see 8 milestone stickers attached for your child to stick on the relevant pages. The sticker milestones begin at 12 weeks and has a picture of the fruit or vegetable every 4 weeks to update your child on their brothers or sister’s growth.

The beginning of the beautifully illustrated book concentrates on finding out how your little one is feeling, raising any potential questions and also ensuring that your little one is aware their new sibling will not be coming for quite some time yet. It cleverly brings the attention back to your little one by speaking about what they were like as a baby, it also raises any potential issues that can affect your child such as mummy being sick and tired and reassures them that this is only temporary.

How do you tell your toddler you're expecting 1

Week by week, the book raises issues to prepare your child for their sibling and week by week your little one is greeted with a message from their new brother or sister intertwined with lots of interesting facts to ensure your little one is involved as much as they can whilst promoting a positive bond from the very beginning.

Filled with fun interactive elements such as tasks and the special ‘flip effect’ throughout the pages that brings the sibling to life, this book is the perfect way to help a child to understand pregnancy and be prepared for what to expect when their brother or sister arrives.

 

Our Review of Let’s Talk to Mummy

This book is fantastic and I actually got a little emotional reading it. This is a fantastic book to read with your little ones and a great way for them to feel included in your pregnancy whilst preparing them for the changes the new arrival will bring. This book forms a strong bond between your child and their sibling from the beginning and cleverly gives your new baby a voice so that your little one can interact with their sibling and carry out tasks such as cuddling and touching mummy’s bump.

To be totally honest with you, this book has made me completely broody. I would absolutely purchase this book if I ever did have a baby in the future and I would really enjoy reading this book with George.

This book is the ideal tool for any expectant parent who has another child or children. I must admit that I found this book a refreshing change from most pregnancy based books out there as it focuses on your child’s thoughts and feelings. It encourages engagement between siblings and is enjoyable for mum and child to both take time out of their hectic lives to bond with bump. Interacting with your bump is also now proven to support your unborn child’s brain development.

 

The book covers a range of topics including;

Where the baby will sleep

Names

Baby crying

How will you wash the new baby

What the Baby will eat

plus many more.

This book can be used time and time again without getting repetitive as the book encourages discussions around different topics. Different children will have different thoughts and views.

We have awarded “Let’s Talk to Mummy’s Tummy” with our recommended on badge.

You can purchase this book direct from the authors website. It’s also available on Amazon.

 

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Getting Ready for a Baby

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Having a baby, especially your first, is an incredibly exciting time. There are also a few worries in the mix of emotions, too, though. Chief among these concerns is whether the baby is going to be alright, followed by how you’re going to afford it!
Some surveys have found that new parents spend up to £10,000 on their baby’s first year – the cot, the pram, clothes, nappies, formula, car seats, toys and special food being just some of the items on the shopping list. You don’t have to spend this much if you don’t want to, though, as there’s lots of ways to reduce this expensive first year’s costs.

Work out how much you can afford

Whether you’re embarking on this journey with your partner or going it alone, you have to work out how much you’ll have to spend and what you’re going to spend it on. Use this handy budget calculator to work out your finances for the next 18 to 20 months (the pregnancy period and baby’s first year or so) to pin down how much you’ll have coming in and how much will be going out. Then you can start using these bright ideas to curb your spending.

Start looking for bargains as soon as possible

You can join local marketplace groups to keep an eye out for equipment – large and small – as soon as you feel comfortable. For some people, this is after the 12-week scan and for others this may come later. The sooner you start looking for prams, cots and bundles of clothes, however, the more you’ll have amassed while you’re still working. You’ll also get to know the market and the territory and soon you’ll be bidding like a pro!

Enter magazine and online competitions

You may think that you never win anything, but by dedicating an hour or so a week to entering baby magazine and website competitions, you may just strike it lucky a few times. Most magazines have giveaway competitions and you should enter as many as you can – sometimes the giveaways are little things like teething rings and sometimes they’re biggies like travel systems and cots. If you don’t try, you’ll definitely not win anything.

Try to live off just one salary for a month

You’ll probably be taking at least nine months’ maternity leave. During maternity leave, if you’re an employee, you’ll get six weeks on full pay followed by a period of reduced pay until you return. If you’re self-employed you’ll probably get Maternity Allowance, which isn’t a huge amount. A good savings tip is to live for a month off your partner’s salary to see how it goes and to squirrel away yours for your period of leave.

Don’t buy everything on the “must buy” list in those magazines

There are some things that you’ll buy and never use! Listen to friends, family and forums and don’t bother with wipe warmers, baby food-processors and nappy bins. Just don’t! Similarly, when you are making the big purchases – the pram and the cot – think about how long you can use it for. Many cots turn into toddler beds so you’ll get three or four years’ use out of them. Many prams are also designed to go from new born to toddler (with the help of some engineering wizardry) so you’ll only need to buy one.

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