I love my son dearly – I really do. I call him my beautiful monster and he certainly is that alright, his evil little cackle makes me laugh out loud daily, his ability to sweet talk me with words I don’t even understand is nothing short of impressive and his serious yet “I mean business” walk is just outstanding and 100% believable.
To be totally truthful a lot of the pressure of being a “good” mum comes from other mums and certain things that other mum’s ask me do often make question what the hell i am actually doing wrong…. ?
Here are my top 6 things you must never say to a mum of an 18 month old boy;
1. They get so easy at this age don’t they…?
****looks around **** If your talking about that dog over there then sure i am sure they are much easier once they are 18 months old. “Ohhh you mean the child?” The faceplanting floor tantrums, finding actual random shit around the house where my darling son has decided he doesn’t wasn’t to do a full poop in the nappy… no no… he actually wants to do half in the nappy and half out of the nappy cause he loves sharing so much… followed by being on the receiving end of countless smacks in the face throughout the day….. Yep it’s so much easier than when he couldn’t move and would just sleep all day!!!!
2. You always seem so tired…how come?
Seem tired? I bloody am tired pretty much all the time, having a child that thinks bouncing remotes of TV screens is music, free falling from couches is fun and headbutting walls when you say no is a normal response, I guess it kind of takes it out if you sometimes.
3. Are you thinking about another one anytime soon?
Another what? Brew…? Yes I will always have another brew, it is how I get through most days. If you are talking about a b.a.b.y then sure definately… if I want a mental breakdown and to be carried out of my house in a straight jacket… absolutely!!!
4. Do you feed your toddler organic stuff?
Yeah of course, sometimes I buy those overpriced organic finger food crisps from Tesco, it is usually when shit has hit the fan and we have come out without a snack.
5. You should really try and get out more with him during the day…
Yeah… I should, but when you are just about keeping your shit together by being a mum, working and being a wife all at the same time sometimes getting out of the house is just not feesable. When i am not chasing my son I am cleaning and tidying, when I am not cleaning and tidying I am chasing my son.
6. What crafts do you do with your little one then?
Well when he isn’t smearing his food on our walls or pooping in the bath… sometimes he likes to felt tip the cream carpet… it’s like a little game we have its called “No George”…. When I shout “no George” and he seems to smear faster, poop quicker and felt tip deeper…. loves crafts does our George.
Being a mum of an 18 month old boy is fun, hard, great, hard, lovely and… did I say it was hard?