Before I became a parent, I used to think the term “terrible twos” was just an excuse parents used to give to make themselves feel better about their child’s slightly challenging behaviour in front of other people – I mean it’s almost like it’s a loophole isn’t it? You know a bit like the teething one I mentioned quite some time ago.
“Aww look at Lily, kicking the shit out of the kitchen cupboards” awww it’s just the terrible twos and we nod and carry on chatting.
“Look at Harry slapping his granny across the face”
“Just the terrible twos” his mum shouts from across the room at his Granny as she triple blinks in pain, they both nod in agreement and Granny carries on taking a beating.
But my question today is where does it end? How far does it have to go until you say “no, enough is enough!”
I guess what I am trying to figure out is, do I now reside to the fact as my child enters the forbidden zone of the terrible twos and the fact I am going to be brutally beaten on a regular basis and do I just have to accept it because …. “hey it’s just the terrible two phase“? Do I just have to accept that our house becomes a toddler’s shit tip and just sit back and laugh as I let him colour on the walls? Do I reward him when he colours between the lines? Do I just accept that it’s terrible twos…I mean – where does it end?
I was just about coming to terms with George entering the dreaded “terrible two phase” till I was out at a toddler group minding my own business (in all honestly I trying to get a warm brew whilst someone else entertains my child) then I heard it, it was a term I had never heard of before “threenager!” I nearly spat my brew all over myself, I mean what the …. does threenager mean? Does this mean we are in for 2 years of hellish behaviour?
I love George, he makes me laugh, he brings me joy, the love I have for him is surreal and I count my blessings every day but surely – does it really get harder? I don’t know if I can take it!
I think George may have entered the terrible 2 phase over the last few weeks. Some days I wake up and I think… I am ready to tackle the terrible twos and some days I just give in to whatever he wants for a bit of peace.
The thing with George is, he is very good at choosing his audience, he is so cute, timid and shy in front of most people but as soon as we turn our backs and we head home as a twosome his personality begins to change, he starts demanding more and more and If I dare to say no.. oh god forbid!!!
Rise and shine with his cup of milk
I am very lucky that George is a great sleeper and lazy like his mother, he tends to get up around 9am and has to have a warm milk in silence before I can even attempt to change his nappy or talk to him… I am all for morning silence so that isn’t usually an issue!!
As I greet him with a huge smile across my chops with his heated milk in hand, I pass it over and he feels the bottle as he eyeballs me, if he doesn’t like the temperature the bottle gets thrown across the room!
For the love of Netflix
I love Netflix and George does too, so much so he has started asking to watch “Peppa Pig” on demand, I put on “Peppa Pig” and then he demands “Little Baby Bum” as soon as “Little Baby Bum” is on he screams “Peppa Pig!” I literally can’t win – Netflix doesn’t allow me to play both at once – what am I meant to do????
Indecisive little ….*cough*boy
Perhaps it’s my own fault for asking him what he would like at meal time? George keeps repeating one of the options I give to him “pasta, pasta, pasta”. I sweat with stress as I cook the pasta as quickly as I can before my little cherub “kicks off” then just as I proudly lay it on to the Ikea high chair (thinking I am the best mum ever) he starts demanding another meal…. I mean what am I meant to do? He has to eat!!! He begins screaming “no no no” then starts smacking the crap out of pasta and finally launches it through the air as I dive to catch it like a goal keeper. I then go through the same process every meal time, I put it on the side and he shouts pasta, I put it back on the high chair table he shout mash then I take it away he shouts pasta then I put it back he says mash…
This blog post is not looking for a solution, nor am I looking for any sympathy – I am just having a little rant to myself but if you want to send me any tips on these “terrible twos” I would love to hear from you! As I always say I am not complaining about motherhood – I am just merely wittering on to myself hoping I can understand this new phase.