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At MyBump2Baby, we are proud to be able to educate our readers on everything they need to know about pregnancy. This blog tells you when you need to have Ultrasound Scans in Pregnancy. Ultrasounds help to promote a healthy pregnancy and they offer parents the chance to discuss any issues and receive any advice they require.
When do you have Ultrasound Scans in Pregnancy
How many Ultrasound Scans do you have during Pregnancy
In England, using the NHS, a woman will have two ultrasound scans throughout their pregnancy. It is often in the first scan where the nurse will be able to estimate your baby’s due date. In the second scan, the nurse will check your baby for a number of physical conditions, these results will be available to you immediately. It’s also likely that you’ll be able to find out the gender of your baby, however this is not guaranteed.
Ultrasound scans generally don’t take very long, between 20 minutes and 30 minutes and you are able to take someone into the hospital room with you.
It is important to note that some women may experience more than two ultrasound scans during their pregnancy, your nurse will advise you best based on your health and other factors that may impact your pregnancy.
When do you have Ultrasound Scans in Pregnancy
The first scan tends to be performed between 8 and 14 weeks of pregnancy and the second scan is usually done between 18 and 21 weeks.
Towards the end of your pregnancy, your midwife may encourage you to have another ultrasound scan to check the growth of your baby. If you’re having twins, this is more likely to happen too, as often twins do not share the nutrients from your food equally.
An ultrasound scan can also be used to monitor the location of your placenta, this can help to ensure you have the best advice on how to give birth to your baby safely.
If your nurse is concerned with any aspect of your health or your pregnancy, there’s a chance you may be invited for more regular ultrasound scans during your pregnancy.
Private Ultrasound Scans in Pregnancy
While it is possible to have ultrasound scans for free using the NHS, you can also pay to go private. Prices can vary drastically based on your location.
If you decide to pay for private scans, you will likely have your first scan earlier than you would with the NHS. Your first scan would take place between 6 and 10 weeks, to determine if your baby is growing at the appropriate rate.
You can generally have a private scan to determine your baby’s gender earlier than you could with the NHS. With private, it can be performed anytime after 16 weeks, however it is still not guaranteed that the nurse will be able to tell you this information.
One interesting benefit of having a private ultrasound scan is that you can often have a 3D or 4D scan, which enables you to see your baby much more clearly. You may even be able to see them performing certain actions in real time. These private benefits come at a price however, check your local area to work out how much it’ll cost you.
Before you settle on which scan you’re going to have, you must consider all of the options carefully, but remember that you’ll have people there to advise you the whole way through your pregnancy.
https://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/When-do-you-have-Ultrasound-Scans-in-Pregnancy-.png800800Abi Sprostonhttps://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logo-1-300x81.pngAbi Sproston2020-05-27 21:48:472020-05-27 21:48:47When do you have Ultrasound Scans in Pregnancy
By Eddie Jones, Head of Clinical Negligence at JMW Solicitors.
Giving birth is a life-changing experience that can be extremely distressing if it follows a course that was unexpected or unwanted. JMW Solicitors’ clinical negligence team questioned more than 600 women with children about their birth experience in an NHS hospital and this is what they found.
The survey results highlighted vast differences in the type of experience that women have faced. Some 51% of women giving birth in NHS hospitals rated their overall care as ‘excellent’ and 35% said it was ‘good’.
Women’s experience of birth in an NHS hospital
Almost a quarter (24%) of women giving birth in NHS hospitals had a good experience, describing it as ‘extremely positive’, while 41% said it was ‘positive’. Only 9% of women said their experience was ‘extremely negative’, while 11% said it was ‘negative’. Some 16% of respondents said their experience of giving birth was neither ‘positive or negative’.
A new mother who had a positive experience said: “The staff were brilliant in a really traumatic situation. We were well looked after and, ultimately, they saved my life.”
When asked what aspects of their birth could have been improved, the majority (31%) said ‘nothing’, while others made the following suggestions:
Improvements to the treatment received by members of staff – 19%
The number of staff present at the birth – 15%
Not having to ‘share’ a ward – 15%
Improved waiting times – 8%
Were you offered any mental health support?
JMW also asked survey participants if they felt like the hospital had offered adequate mental health support before, during and after birth, with almost two-fifths (38%) saying ‘no’ – 30% said they were offered adequate mental health support, while 19% said ‘I don’t know’ and 14% said ‘maybe’.
Here are three women’s stories who experienced a lack of mental health support:
“My notes said that counselling or support was not required – I was never offered it and it was never discussed.”
“I asked for help on the postnatal ward as I knew I was not okay, but was told there was no help available until I visited my GP.”
“I was very shocked and traumatised after my birthing experience and this was not recognised at all. Although I was deeply upset by everything that happened, it was brushed over as it was just part of a ‘normal day at the office’. I have since been diagnosed with a post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).”
Did a birthing plan adequately prepare you for birth?
Almost half of women who gave birth in a NHS hospital had a birthing plan for their most recent birth, with 53% of these saying their birth experience had met expectations outlined in the plan, and 47% saying it hadn’t.
One respondent whose birthing plan didn’t meet the expectations of the delivery said: “I was not aware of the risks of instrumental delivery so my birth plan was flawed – I never considered scenarios where instruments would be needed. I was led to believe that it was always best to avoid a caesarean section. Now I know otherwise.
“All this meant that my consent was assumed and the risks of instruments were never explained to me. The aftermath of my birth is how I found out.”
Treatment before, during and after birth
Regarding the care they received while on the maternity ward, the survey data suggested most new mothers had a positive experience. The results revealed that 51% of women rated their care as ‘excellent’, 35% said it was ‘good’, 14% said ‘average’, 7% said ‘bad’, and 4% said ‘extremely bad’.
One respondent had this to say about her treatment: “My midwife was someone we had grown to know throughout my pregnancy. I trusted her, and she was happy to listen to what I wanted, balanced with the needs of the pregnancy, because, of course, all pregnancies develop differently, as do all births.”
In relation to the information provided regarding physical recovery, 60% of mothers believed they were given enough information following the birth of their baby, while 30% said it was inadequate.
A new mother who described the information as inadequate said: “I was given no support in getting mobile again after surgery. I was told to get up and get my own breakfast the following day, even though my epidural had not fully worn off. When I asked for help at night, my baby was taken away to a nursery so I couldn’t attempt to breastfeed.”
What can I do if mistakes are made?
Giving birth is a life-changing experience that can take a huge physical and emotional toll on the mother. Of course, all births are different and there can be no way of predicting what can happen, but it is vital that the standard of care given is consistent.
When accidents occur during pregnancy or birth due to the negligence of the doctors and midwives providing the care, the injuries caused can have a devastating impact on both mother and child. If you have experienced negligence during pregnancy or birth, and you or your baby have suffered avoidable injuries, you are entitled to challenge these failures through legal action
Bringing a medical negligence claim is not just about receiving compensation, although this can be vital if long-term care is required and independence has been lost. It can help to ensure that other families don’t have to go through the trauma that you’ve experienced by helping to ensure that lessons are learned. For more information on making a claim, visit the JMW Solicitors website.
https://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Your-Ultimate-Guide-to-Maternity-Leave-in-the-UK.png10801080Carla Letthttps://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logo-1-300x81.pngCarla Lett2020-05-26 16:36:252020-05-26 16:37:08What New Mothers Think About the NHS Birth Experience
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Female empowerment is so important, we love to promote it at MyBump2Baby. This inspiration comes from a fantastic lady on her Warrior Woman Journey. The journey to success is often not an easy one, but it’s persistence that gets you to your destination!
My Warrior Woman Journey
There have been so many bumps in the road along my journey which one day will be explored but let’s fast forward to 2016!
Feeling confused, scared, lost & ashamed so many things to feel all at once so sitting crying on the bedroom floor, four months after giving birth to my second child! You feel that you should be happy & it all falls in place like something out of a movie!
My fabulous project for new Mams
Because of my dark unpleasant thoughts we decided to call Northumberland Crisis Team who visited me every day to make sure I was safe. One week later I was back in work mode & didn’t really deal with my emotions & feelings but I did set up a fabulous support project for new Mams based in Blyth! This was created on the back of my own lonely, isolating place I was in! This project took off like a rocket full flow offering baby massage, fitness classes plus so much more but everyday I was dealing with this dark cloud hanging around until Friday 9th June 2017 & turned my life upside down!
“We are women warriors!!”
That’s the day I found out how a broken/aching heart felt, June 2017 – Feb 2018 I was flying around the world from Zante, main land Greece, Newcastle, North Tyneside being by the side of my brain damaged mam. February 2018 I became her rehab assistant & this role is something I do every day through my own mental illness because you know why!! We are women warriors!!
My new community hub
So if you know me I like a challenge & I think I’m invincible I bought a cafe in Wallsend! It wasn’t any old cafe, it was a play cafe, community hub for new parents to grab a hot cuppa & access support, catch up with friends & relax with their little one. Loved the whole place but farrrr too much work for someone who already had a full time role plus fighting a mood disorder. I decided to sell the amazing business & focus on me.
Empowering other women
May 2019 came & I decided to attend a body pump class, 5 stone later I’m using all my qualifications/experience & dedicate my time looking after me. I have now created a business to coach women to transform their lives & a social enterprise which sells clothing to support people feel empowered by their life changing journey!
Disclosure: Some of the links within this article may contain affiliate links, meaning at no cost to you, we may get commission if you decide to make a purchase through one of the links within the article.
At MyBump2Baby, we feel that it’s so important to raise awareness and offer support to parents going through tough times. We are honoured to share this misscarriage and NICU story with you, written by Paris Booton. This is an incredibly emotional story.
A Miscarriage and NICU Story by Paris Booton
+Positive Pregnancy Test again
“Consult your doctor if pregnant or breastfeeding” on the box of some medicine made me take a pregnancy test. Of course I wasn’t pregnant, I told myself. The times after the miscarriage didn’t count. + Positive. For a second I wondered whether I had really lost the baby before, but I knew that wasn’t true. Anxiety hit me that this baby wasn’t alive. My partner booked in for a private scan. There they were, my perfect baby. Already you could see the arms and legs in the 3D scan they did for us.
This helped for a week. Then thoughts began to creep into my mind: “will I have a baby at the end?” and “is baby okay?” but the worst was the overwhelming feeling something was wrong. Throughout the whole pregnancy. That overwhelming, strong and intrusive feeling.
I kept the pregnancy fairly under wraps so if I did lose the baby again I wouldn’t have the pain of some well meaning soul asking about a pregnancy that had ended. I didn’t tell the extended parts of my family until I was around 25 weeks. Very few knew until after the birth.
But this made it harder when I was struggling with Pelvic Gurdle Pain (PGP) and a toddler. I had little to no support from outside immediate family. So it was easy within this loneliness to get lost in the strong and overwhelming feelings. I’d get lost in the ways I was going to lose this baby.
The scans of my baby were positive
The 12 week scan came. The 20 week scan came. 33 weeks pregnant and baby had a heartbeat. Maybe I’d have a baby. I’d experience some clear fluid. I asked the stand in midwife and she told me that it was likely my ‘waters’ but small leaks reseal. I am an antenatal teacher, I’d never read about the resealing and likewise I didn’t read that it didn’t exist either.
I remember thinking that it’s just more wrong with me, it seems as though baby was fine. I mentioned it again at my 35 week appointment and was sent straight into hospital. “It’s only clear discharge” I told myself. But the test came back positive and they viewed a pool of amniotic fluid. Baby was still fine. But they gave me steroids to be safe.
I was to be discharged the next day, but routine observation on the baby needed to be done so down I went to the maternity assessment unit. Laying there on my back, a midwife came over and said “We just need you to stay on the monitor a bit longer”. I looked at the heartbeat and it was taking big dips and taking a long time to recover from the surges I was having. Being induced at 37 weeks was no longer recommended between everything, induction at 36 weeks was recommended.
Mother’s instinct
Turns out that feeling of reduced oxygen over my brain when laying down wasn’t just affecting me, it was affecting my unborn baby too. Mother’s instinct was right – there was something wrong.
My partner and I debated over what to do, I told him: “I could go over all the statistics, all the facts but there was a reason my intuition kept telling me something was wrong…”
So I was induced but we went slowly, like I wanted. I was respected, listened to and in the end I had a 5/6 hour labour from the first set of regular contractions to birth of baby. It was the healing birth I wanted after my traumatising first. I thought we could just leave.
We found out my placenta had began to detach from the uterine wall, there was a chance that if I had gone to 40 weeks plus that the placenta would have fully detached and I wouldn’t have had a baby. I am so amazed at the power of a mother’s intuition.
It’s a boy!
But then baby was wheezing. He (I found at the sex at birth and he was a boy!) couldn’t breathe so wouldn’t feed. My partner went with our son as he got a cannula fitted in case he needed antibiotics and I was told he’ll be back in about 10 minutes or so. An hour passed and they didn’t come back.
I finally got a call off my partner as I lay in my own blood that our son was in an incubator, on oxygen. With all my strength I tried to stand up, but I hadn’t recovered from PGP. I couldn’t get to my son. I had a panic attack on the bed. The midwife who birthed Alex came in to check on me, she sat with me until I calmed down even though her shift was over and told me she would get someone to find out what had happened and get me up there.
I’ll never forget the first time I saw my 6lb 13oz tiny baby in the incubator. I felt my heart in my throat. I remember being told that there wasn’t much difference between 36 weeks and full term. Baby will be fine. He didn’t look fine with all those cables over him.
My baby was back at the hospital
He managed to recover quickly and was out of the hospital by day 3. He was readmitted on day 5 for severe jaundice. He needed a blood transfusion but they gave him a chance on a 360 degree blood light. His levels were up and down. During this time I read what can happen with high levels of jaundice. That anxiety was constant for the 3 days he was in hospital.
He was under the hospital for jaundice until he was 6 weeks. He’s fine now, he’s big, he’s strong.
The effects of my birth
But I’m not. I keep picturing finding him dead. I keep hearing the beeping of the monitors. I remember parts of his hospital stay so vividly. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, postnatal depression (PND) and postnatal anxiety (PNA). My 3 year old keeps asking if her brother will go back to hospital. She sleeps in the same room to make he doesn’t go back to the hospital. We’re not fine.
https://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/My-miscarriage-and-NICU-story.jpg13341000Abi Sprostonhttps://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logo-1-300x81.pngAbi Sproston2020-05-17 14:52:212020-05-17 14:53:11A Miscarriage and NICU Story by Paris Booton
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At MyBump2Baby, we think it’s important to raise awareness about topics that are often not talked about. Today’s blog is brought to you by expert, Kimberly Boyd, a doula near Lincoln. Today Kimberly explains The Benefits of Having a Doula. Visit her website here.
The Benefits of having a Doula|Lincoln
Some of you may have heard the word Doula but a lot of people are still unsure of what it is and what a Doula does.
A Doula is someone (usually a woman) who is a trained professional providing emotional, physical and educational support to women and birthing people before, during and after the birth of their baby.
She is not medically trained and does not replace your midwives and doctors or work for the medical team but is hired independently by the woman/couple. She does not advise or tell you what to do but can support you to find good evidence based information to enable you to make your own informed decisions on what is right for you and your family at each stage of your journey.
The services Doulas offer can vary greatly between each client she works with and their individual needs. Some Doulas work just as birth support, some just as postnatal support and some offer a complete package of support. A lot of Doulas come with a wealth of knowledge and other qualifications such as Hypnobirthing/Antenatal Education, Aromatherapy, Pregnancy Yoga/ Massage, Baby Yoga/Massage and Mental Health Training are just some examples.
What is a Doula?
A Birth Doula supports all kinds of birth at home, in birth centres and consultant led hospitals. From water birth to caesarean birth and everything in between, there is no one way to birth and no agenda or criteria from the Doula. Her aim is to enable you to have a more positive birth experience and get the best outcome for you – which is different for every woman/birthing person.
She provides continuous support for the woman/birthing person (and their birth partners) throughout the pregnancy with various meetings, helping prepare the couple for the birth and exploring all of their options, talking through any fears and directing to information/services to support the pregnancy all while building a trusting relationship. She is then with you through your whole labour and the immediate postnatal time. She offers many comfort measures to the woman and is a guide on your path to birth, she holds and protects your space, she empowers and comforts, massages and holds, reassures and encourages you all while explaining events to your birth partners and supporting them too. Following the birth she can assist in the initial
bonding with your baby, initiating breastfeeding and admiring the amazing work you have just done in bringing your baby into the world. To be in the presence of this is an absolute honour and privilege.
So what are the benefits of having a Doula?
The presence of a birth doula has shown huge benefits towards a more positive birth experience……
Women cared for during labour by a birth Doula compared to those receiving usual care were:
26% less likely to give birth by caesarean
41% less likely to give birth with a vacuum extractor or forceps
28% less likely to use any analgesia or anaesthesia
33% less likely to be dissatisfied or negatively rate their birth experience
(Findings of Hodnett’s et al meta-analysis of 15 trials from N.America, Europe and Africa.) You can also find more information and research on either doula.org.uk or thedouladirectory.com – this is where you can find a doula in your area also.
Postnatally a Doula supports the family in the early weeks/months following the birth of a baby. “The Fourth Trimester” – the period of transition from womb to world for your baby and recovery from birth for the woman. She serves you in whatever way you need, just as with the birth, she is led by you and meets the needs of each individual client differently, the length of time she supports a family may vary also.
Doulas are effective after birth
Some things a postnatal Doula may be able to provide to you is someone to talk to, a doula is a good listener and holds space for you to be heard and express any worries you have. She is a guide in your new role as parents, offering practical support in all parenting tasks, she can help around the house to enable you to rest and recover and focus on your baby. She is usually trained in breastfeeding support and can troubleshoot and encourage/reassure you on your breastfeeding journey. A Doula will have strong links with other services and professionals in your area too for signposting to when needed/requested. As always she provides evidence-based information for the patents to make their own informed decisions around parenting.
Unlike a maternity nurse the Doula is not there to care for the baby for you all
the time but to support you to be the parent you want to be.
Having a postnatal Doula has proven to lower rates of postnatal anxiety/depression and improve rates of initiating and establishing breastfeeding.
I genuinely believe that every woman/family can benefit from having a birth and/or postnatal doula to support you through one of your biggest life events.
One of my favourite quotes…
“Whenever and however you give birth your experiences will impact your emotions, your mind, your body and your spirit for the rest of your life”
~ Ina May Gaskin ~
Value yourself, value your birth and value your experiences, you are worth it.
Kimberley Boyd
Birth & Postnatal Doula, Hypnobirthing Practitioner, Emotional Health Coach and Baby Massage Instructor in Lincolnshire.
https://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/Expert-article-what-are-the-benefits-of-a-doula.jpg512341Abi Sprostonhttps://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logo-1-300x81.pngAbi Sproston2020-05-17 14:21:042020-05-17 14:24:30The Benefits of having a Doula | Lincoln
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MyBump2Baby is proud to share this forceps delivery with you, written by Stacey White, who has been brave enough to share her personal experience with us. It’s important to raise awareness on the different types of birth.
A Forceps Delivery by Stacey White
I remember waking up on 12/12/2012 thinking what a special day it must be for someone and as I never had regular periods for a few weeks I was suffering with sickness and belly pains so I took a pregnancy test to be sure and it was a huge positive! I was shocked but excited.
During my pregnancy I felt fine but towards the end I was beginning to suffer especially during the summer heat. I had to be induced as i was 15 days over, they broke my waters at 6 am and I felt fine for a few hours, me and my partner went for a few walks outside the hospital then mid afternoon is when the contractions started to kick in. I coped with them using gas and air for a few hours and even had a little sleep! But towards early evening time I was in full labour which was painful but I stuck with the gas and air.
I felt as if something wasn’t right
I had a monitor on to check the baby and all was fine until i was fully dilated and something didn’t feel right. I kept saying to the midwife that something isn’t right but she kept telling me that I was fine. After pushing for a few hours and baby not coming out as he was stuck another midwife came in and examined me and pushed the alarm button. Within seconds I had a room full of doctors and midwives, me and my partner panicking as first time parents didn’t know what was happening. They took my partner to a room and he had to be scrubbed up and had a gown, mask and hat on. I was rushed to the theatre by this time. I had no idea what was happening as I was exhausted.
“I didn’t understand what was happening”
I remember signing something but I had no idea what it was at the time but it was something about if I die then it’s not the hospital’s fault. The surgeon moved me onto the bed which was hard as I couldn’t move. They gave me a spinal injection and put a sheet up. My partner came into the room. I just remember all these people in the room talking to me at once and I didn’t understand what was happening. Turns out my baby had somehow twisted sideways and his head was turned on his shoulder that’s why he got stuck when I was pushing for 3 hours. They had to deliver him with forceps quickly which wasn’t nice as they gave me a 3rd degree cut. They rushed him on the table and checked him over he was absolutely amazing even though he was 9lb!
A miracle happened
I managed to hold him for a little while but during the birth I had a massive bleed and kept passing out. They gave my partner our baby and rushed him out of the room as I couldn’t stop bleeding it was scary. I remember looking over and there were just towels on the floor covered with blood. A midwife was holding my hand saying I’ll be ok but I kept thinking the worst. They were just about to give me a blood transfusion but somehow the bleeding magically stopped but I was on the verge of bleeding to death.
Cuddle time
All I could think about was my baby but once they fixed me up with loads of stitches I got to hold him again which was lovely but had to be careful I didn’t pull any wires and tubes out of me. I had to lay on my back for several hours after incase pressure from sitting up made me bleed again which I eventually did once I sat up.
My birthing recovery
This was a very scary time for me and I’m so lucky I survived as the chance as the time was very slim.
My recovery time was about 6 months after regular appointments at the hospital and gynecologists due to the cut.
I said I’m never having any more children then 8 months later I fell pregnant again!
https://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/My-forceps-delivery-scaled.jpg25601753Abi Sprostonhttps://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logo-1-300x81.pngAbi Sproston2020-05-17 14:08:392020-05-26 14:53:12A Forceps Delivery by Stacey White
Disclosure: Some of the links within this article may contain affiliate links, meaning at no cost to you, we may get commission if you decide to make a purchase through one of the links within the article.
There’s a lot of pressure on Dads and as times have changed so has what we expect from them. Today’s blog is written by Sam Mellor, he tells us What a Modern Dad means. At MyBump2Baby, we hope this article is helpful and offers support to families and especially Dads.
What a Modern Dad Means
Sam Mellor, Single Parent, Dad to 2 Toddlers, Self proclaimed dadsy dad and car nut…
First, thank you to MyBump2Baby for allowing me the opportunity to write this blog and hopefully more besides this one, about what does being a modern dad mean.
Being a dad has evolved into much more than the 1970s “Bringing Home the Bacon” dad so many of us are used to seeing stereotyped on soaps and films – even up to and including the modern day media or the dad who plays superhero by swooping in and killing bad guys with his bare hands John Rambo style and looking after his family.
Remember dads, not all superheros wear capes – some of us like a whiskey, Hey Duggee and dreaming up ways of trying to kill of Mr Tumble, sorry Justin – when you smile you look like the clown out of IT and it freaks me out just a bit, I’m sure you’re a nice guy??????
A modern day Dad
Modern day dads, thankful aren’t like this anymore and I would like to think I’m not a dad dinosaur, compared to times of old.
And I thought for my first blog I’d talk about what I think being a modern day dad is about and how raising my two kids has versioned my tale of events.
I can honestly say night feeds was the killer of my sleep pattern, bourbon whiskey is my friend, DIY is slowly becoming my pastime hobby second only to loud & fast cars and I still don’t understand the obsession that toddlers have for sand and paint!!!!
My two monkeys are 3 and 1, ones a sassy fierce independent 3 year old Disney Princess and I have a silent destroyer for a 1 year old – I like to hear him yawping so I know he isn’t turning into wreck it Ralph whilst I’m trying to make juice for the five seconds I have had my back turned.
Being yourself
I’m not going to lie, I like to be known for being a bit extra, someone recently describing me as a male diva, but I like to own that analogy because if you’re going to be unique – be yourself or better yet – be a unicorn, cause why not?!
Anyways I digress, modern day dads, don’t be afraid to show of who you genuinely are, I guarantee hiding behind some macho facade does nothing and if your kids don’t believe you – your partner definitely won’t! I used to regularly watch TV with the kids when they were babies when they were asleep, sing Disney songs with them and prat around looking like a 100% pure bred baboon because let’s face it – you’re gonna earn your credibility back someday but you ain’t going to get these moments back with your kids…don’t forget these 3ft hostage negotiators will one day be deciding which care home you live in…it’s a good investment of your time!
So I think being a 2020 dad boils down to a few key ingredients:
– be a dick, your kids will love you for it and your partner will laugh at you anyways so don’t worry about it
– Make memories out of things that matter not what costs the most amount of money because a £1000 present will probably give the same enjoyment as a £5 toy or book. I loved nothing more than taking a video of watching my little boy get excited playing vroom vroom cars the other week even though they were £4 out of a CBeebies magazine
– Give your kids a bedtime story, not only is it my sacred time as a father, but Storytime is a land of adventure and imagination, don’t miss out on it, it’s my favourite time in any week
– If you get asked to do a night feed, don’t groan welcome that task with open arms, it’s bonding time you ain’t going to have whilst you’re at work
– Be yourself, don’t look at a macho dad and think hmmmm I wanna be like them, you only lose out on the laughs per minute on the gauge of life
– Don’t worry about putting a few pounds on here and there or having an odd cheeseburger but similarly however don’t forget to look after yourself in a way you know how, I love going fast on race tracks and I’m a first class workaholic, but it makes me happy. Find your happy place – dipping in and out of it will help to keep you sane!!!
Think that’s enough talking for today, hopefully my waffling has said a little bit that sparks a thought in your head, if not tune in for the next one!
Again, thanks to Carla for giving me the opportunity and dads, if you need an ear – I’m here to listen – we are all in this together!
God bless – Sam x
https://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/What-a-modern-Dad-means-Sam-Mellor.jpg15441160Abi Sprostonhttps://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logo-1-300x81.pngAbi Sproston2020-05-17 14:04:162020-05-17 14:04:16What a Modern Dad Means – By Sam Mellor
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At MyBump2Baby, we feel so honoured to be able to share this empowering, real-life birth story with you. The fantastic Maria Bataller has shared her story ‘I gave birth on my own’ with us. We love to share positive stories with our readers and hope that we can raise awareness for others in a similar situation.
I Gave Birth on my own – by Maria Bataller
The first surprise
With Sofia, my first child, I knew I was pregnant from day 1, I could just feel it. With my second, the story is very different… I didn’t find out I was pregnant till 5 months in. Yes, I had noticed I had put weight on and started a bootcamp (which I did 2 sessions and couldn’t bother to continue). Yes, I was feeling tired, but I was working a full time job, looking after a toddler, finishing a house extension and planning to start my own business. I was also still breastfeeding my daughter and taking the pill. That’s why it wasn’t until I felt some “strange” movement in my belly that I realised I was pregnant.
On the same day that I spoke to my midwife (same as I had for my daughter), I was sent to hospital to have a scan. I was very nervous! We went in and the sonographer started. She looked very surprised and said the baby was too big and she couldn’t tell anything from it. It turn out that she only did the 8 to 14 week scan and didn’t know how to change the settings to see an older baby properly. But that made me even more nervous!! She went on and find a colleague who helped. They revealed, with their comments, that it was a boy. This pregnancy was a shock for us and not expected at all. I think I only saw my midwife 3 times, as my baby was eager to come out and meet us all early.
Here’s my birth story
It all started on a Monday night. After my pregnancy yoga class, I headed home very relaxed, ready for sleep. Sofia, our 1.5-year-old daughter, who had been sleeping through nights for a long time, woke up screaming at around 11:30 pm. My other half, Warren, went to her room to put her back to sleep, but she grew very upset. We thought that perhaps she had had a nightmare. There seemed no way to settle her down so Warren brought her to bed and I started breastfeeding her as she loved to be comforted. She hadn’t been breastfeeding for a few days, but that night, it was the only thing she wanted.
As soon as she started feeding, I began feeling twinges in my tummy. When she finally fell asleep, I decided to go and lie down in the guest room as I felt like getting up and walking around every time I felt the tightening in my tummy. I put on some relaxing music and listened to some of the guided relaxation tapes I had been listening during pregnancy.
In the morning the “tummy pain” was quite regular and after breakfast we decided to go to hospital. So, Warren and I called the office to say we won’t be going to work, dropped Sofia to nursery and headed to hospital. I was only 35 weeks pregnant and because labour with Sofia was very quick, I just wanted to get to hospital on time and check what was going on. What I felt wasn’t the same as I did when I was in labour with Sofia. With Sofia I started feeling contractions after my waters broke. Here my waters hadn’t broken and I could feel regular “mild pain” but it wasn’t as bad as contractions.
Once in hospital I was monitored for 30 min, followed by an internal examination. The outcome was that I was informed, I wasn’t in labour; so, whatever I was feeling wasn’t contractions, it could be Braxton hicks that sometimes happen weeks before giving birth.
I was a bit happier after hearing that, as I wanted the baby to be born full term (at least after 37 weeks). On the way home, we stopped at the local supermarket to get a few things and as it was lunch time and I fancied a filling lunch, we ate in the cafe. I could still feel the “contractions” but I thought they were slowing down.
Once home Warren and I started clearing and organising a few boxes with books and other stuff that had been stored in the garage for ages.
At around 5pm Warren walked to nursery with the dog to pick up Sofia. I called my Mum and explained what happened but told her not to worry as the pain seemed to have almost gone and so I will probably still have to wait another week or so to meet the new baby. I was on the phone with her for around 20 minutes.
After that I started feeling the pains again, now coming a bit sharper. I decided to go upstairs and lie down. That didn’t help and I didn’t feel comfortable. I decided to have a bath to see if the warm water helped. The water seemed to reduce the sharp pain for a bit, but then I suddenly felt the need to go out of the bath. By then Warren and Sofia were back home and Sofia was eating her dinner downstairs. I called Warren to say we should go back to hospital as I was having sharp pains and was worried if something was wrong with the baby.
My birth was in a matter of seconds
I came out of the bath and felt like I needed to sit in the toilet, but then I realised I was ready to push. Sofia was downstairs starting to get upset. I told Warren to call 999, the midwife and an ambulance. I went down in all fours and tried to go to the resting position (yoga pose) to gain some time but it didn’t feel comfortable. After the first push my waters broke. By then Warren was on the phone with 999. As Sofia was crying, he very quickly went downstairs and to the neighbour’s house banging on their door and asking them to come and pick up Sofia from her high chair in the living room. He left the front door open and by the time he came back upstairs, I told him I had the baby in my arms (it was around 18:18 in the evening). It had been only a few seconds for him to go down and up again, but the baby was even quicker. Warren missed the birth of his little boy just for those seconds.
While Warren was attending to Sofia, in the bathroom, when the waters broke and I felt like pushing again; almost immediately, I could feel the head out. I don’t think I pushed again but the whole body came out and landed on my arms. I quickly put baby on my skin and wrapped us both with some towels to keep us warm. Once Warren was with me again, my placenta came out and he was told by 999 to wait 3 minutes, then get a shoe lace and tie the umbilical cord around 4 cm below baby’s belly button. When the midwife was with us 20 min later, the baby was already on my breast feeding. She was rushing as she was expecting me to be in shock and didn’t know how baby would be as he was born premature. But she was very impressed we had done everything by ourselves and were still very happy and relaxed. After Nolan finished his feed, he was weighed, and the midwife did a quick assessment on him. Nolan seemed very healthy but because it was premature, she had to send us to hospital to have his sugars tested and monitored for a few hours.
Warren’s first cuddles with our newborn baby
Then the midwife passed baby Nolan to daddy (Warren) and asked him to get Nolan dressed while I had a shower. The midwife stayed with me in the bathroom, cleaning and finishing some paperwork while I showered. With the steam she got a bit dizzy and I helped her sitting down. I said I would go downstairs to the kitchen and bring her some water (after all I was feeling very well, as if I hadn’t given birth minutes ago) The midwife got very upset because she was looking after me and there was no way she was going to let me look after her.
The ambulance arrived 40 minutes later; they checked on me but I was fine. They were very impressed with how relaxed I was (heart rate and blood pressure apparently showed that). It was a man driving the ambulance and a young lady. The young lady had recently started working on the ambulance and was looking forward to help giving birth as she had never done so before. The man had experience and told her she could do it following his advice. But when they arrived it was all done and she was a bit disappointed (but happy because we were all fine) Then we headed to hospital to get Nolan checked up. His sugars were monitored for a few feeds and they were stable, so we were able to go home and enjoy our new life as a happy family of 4.
My first birth, Sofia
My first birth was quick too (but no so much). After an hour of contractions (6 in total), I had called the hospital to be told that I was fine and that I should go have a bath. Warren was going to prepare it but I said I didn’t fancy it and he brought me to hospital; thanks to that we had our first child in hospital (she was born 10 minutes after arriving in hospital). This time, as with second babies, it was quicker. I had thought of doing a home birth and I had an appointment with my midwife 2 days after Nolan’s birth (obviously he was not expected 5 weeks early) to talk about having a home birth and how it all works. I also visited a group of doulas (a woman, typically without formal obstetric training, who is employed to provide guidance and support to a pregnant woman during labour) for advice on what to do if my labour started in the street, supermarket, at work, in the car or if I was home alone. They said: “Don’t worry, that won’t happen, the nearest midwife will be with you” but I insisted and they told me what to do: call 999, an ambulance and my midwife, leave the front door open and just relax, push whenever you feel like pushing and once the baby is born wrap him in your arms and wrap both warm with towels/blankets. And just wait till someone comes to help you. I suppose I had a gut feeling something like this was going to happen as I had asked the question to the doulas in the birth choices group. I was so happy I asked and knew what to do. That helped me stay calm and relaxed and I am glad everything went well.
Cool, calm & collected
For a fraction of a second when I realised, I was ready to push, a few things came to my head: How am I going to do this without pain relieve (I had gas and air with my first)??? Baby is going to be premature, is he going to be alright once is out? But I managed to do it in a calm and relaxed way and it was absolutely painless. It was truly amazing!!! It is difficult to explain how it felt, but it was the best thing I have ever done, and even though I was on my own (not ideal) I think it only made it more special and empowering.
My Mum was very confused when an hour after speaking to her on the phone I sent her a photo of Warren and me with the baby.
My Dad always told me I’d be fine giving birth as ladies in his bloodline always had given birth at home very easily: “They were having a coffee and a chat at the table and suddenly gave birth” he used to say. He knew this was going to happen to me too and I think because he told me with so much of confidence, it made it easier for me to feel relaxed in the belief that everything would be fine.
“Happy birthday baby”
I felt very privileged to be the first person Nolan saw. My first words to him (even before I stopped to find out his gender) was “Happy birthday baby, I love you.” I fell in love with him instantly and the way we met each other was amazing and we will never forget.
I re-played his birth in my head for weeks and that made me feel very empowered: If I am able to give life on my own and with ease, I am able to do anything!
https://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/I-gave-birth-on-my-own-story.jpg11961600Abi Sprostonhttps://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logo-1-300x81.pngAbi Sproston2020-05-17 13:44:492020-05-17 13:44:49I Gave Birth on my Own - by Maria Bataller
Disclosure: Some of the links within this article may contain affiliate links, meaning at no cost to you, we may get commission if you decide to make a purchase through one of the links within the article.
We feel that it is so important to share these real-life stories with you, raising awareness for others in a similar situation. We feel honoured to share this anonymous, domestic violence story with you and we urge you to seek assistance if you are struggling or need any advice.
My Domestic Violence Story
I was 22 when I met my ex partner, they were everything I wanted in a partner, kind, caring, strong…they were also trans gender which didn’t bother me in the slightest…
It wasn’t until we had our own home together and I was forced to give up a job in Manchester that I found out who they really were…
Feeling restricted
I wasn’t allowed to find a job in the town I’d now moved to, as a woman I was expected to stay home, cook and clean whilst my partner looked for a job…that never happened. He was more interested in making sure I did what I was supposed to be doing at home…
In return for food I’d have to give him sex, which happened almost every night, whether I wanted to or not.
I was finally allowed to get a job
After about 18 months of living together I was offered a job by his brother in his shop, I was allowed to accept it, because it was the family business.
Me and his brother we’re good friends and we still are, I was beaten by partner one night for staying out late with said brother playing a tabletop star wars game…this meant my partner would also begin to accuse me of sleeping with his brother
It wasn’t until I managed to get him to agree to allowing me to go back to college that I realised what I’d been putting myself through…I’d already planned on leaving.
Planning to move out
One week I’d noticed my once confident dog was now reluctant to be near him or any other man in general, I arranged for her to go to a sitter on days that I was at college using the excuse of “she can socialise with other dogs there” it was also something she would have to get used to as the sitters house was where I’d agreed to move to when I was ready to leave…
I received an urgent phone call from the dog sitter, saying she’d stood up and brushed the back of the dogs leg with her foot, the dog had then soiled herself out of fright, as she then had to be washed because of the extent of her soiling, she proceeded to bite at the sitter when she was having her back end cleaned…after a vet visit we were led to believe that he had gone after my dog when he wasn’t getting what he wanted from me…that was my breaking point, a week later I was gone.
The attack
His brother took me to the house several times over the next month or so so I could get more belongings, always making sure he came in the house with me, apart from the last occasion, where there was a small emergency at the farm, so he had to drop me off and arranged to pick me up afterwards…I’d gone to the bedroom to pack some of my smaller items into boxes, to find him waiting for me, he wouldn’t let me pack my things, he grabbed me from behind In an attempt to over power me, I defended myself for the first time, he also grabbed me by the throat and slammed me into the wall at the top of the stairs, I really thought he was going to throw me down them…he let me go as he heard his brothers car pull up outside.
I never told his brother what had happened that night.
The aftermath
He preceded to drag my name through the dirt for months afterwards, spreading rumours, I was sleeping with his brother, I was sleeping with the dog sitter, I left him because I met someone at college, I left him because he was transgender
None of the rumours were true, I’m lucky that 99% of people who knew him and me saw through what he was trying to do…
Now a successful business woman
4 years later, it still haunts me, sex with my current partner is a struggle, but I’ve come so far, I now have my own small business, and also I take on physical and psychologically damaged dogs in hope of helping them overcome what they’ve been through and finding them new homes.
Seek help from any of the many organisations and support lines that are available.
If you need to talk to someone…
If you want to access support over the phone, you can call:
National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247 (www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/) The Men’s Advice Line, for male domestic abuse survivors – 0808 801 0327 The Mix, free information and support for under 25s in the UK – 0808 808 4994 National LGBT+ Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0800 999 5428 Samaritans (24/7 service) – 116 123 Rights of Women advice lines, there are a range of services available
Do you have dependants who rely on you financially?
If you have dependents – people who rely on you financially – then you should have life insurance. In fact, if you have dependents and don’t have life insurance, you are exposing them to grave financial risk. And who would want to do that?
Life insurance makes us confront uncomfortable questions
Life insurance tends not to feature on ‘to do’ lists because it makes us confront uncomfortable questions, such as what would happen to our loved ones if we were to die unexpectedly in the next few years.
Putting plans in place for those we are responsible for
However, we all carry a deep responsibility to ensure those we leave behind at least have sufficient funds to carry on with life if we’re no longer around. That means putting plans in place to address unpleasant possibilities.
Types of life insurance
There are two main types of life insurance. The one most people need is ‘term’ insurance. This pays out if the policyholder dies within a stated period – the ‘term’.
The other type – ‘whole of life’ insurance – pays out on your death, whenever that occurs. This is more of an investment vehicle than a financial protection plan and is typically used for estate planning.
Dealing with debt
Term insurance pays out money that can be used to clear debts such as a mortgage, lifting a huge financial burden and enabling your loved ones to stay in the family home.
It can also provide for day-to-day living expenses – everything from groceries to utility bills, and from school and university fees to family holidays.
Key points to think about with Life Insurance | Financial Advisor Bolton Leigh
GET ENOUGH COVER Buy sufficient insurance to take care of your family until the youngest is financially self-sufficient.
YOU BOTH NEED IT If you’re in a couple, you both need cover, even if one of you stays at home. The proceeds can pay for services such as childcare and keeping up the house.
BUY SEPARATE POLICIES Joint life insurance covers you both under one policy, but separate policies are more flexible and provide greater protection, although they cost a bit more.
WORK COVER ISN’T ENOUGH Many firms offer ‘death in service’ life insurance. However, once you’ve worked out how much cover you need, you’ll probably realise this isn’t enough and you’ll need a policy of your own.
THE SOONER THE BETTER The older you are, the more expensive life insurance is, so bite the bullet and buy young.
PUT YOUR POLICY ‘IN TRUST’ Doing so places the proceeds outside your estate so it can be paid to your beneficiaries without any delay associated with probate. It also keeps the money from the clutches of the tax man.
REVIEW REGULARLY
Monitor your life insurance coverage to make sure it keeps pace with your circumstances. Events such as marriage, the birth of children and moving home might prompt you to increase the amount of insurance you have.
It is important to take professional advice before making any decision relating to your personal finances.
https://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/its-time-to-talk-life-insurance-financial-advisor-bolton-leigh.png6301120Carla Letthttps://www.mybump2baby.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Logo-1-300x81.pngCarla Lett2020-05-12 21:02:232020-05-12 21:04:54It’s Time to Talk Life Insurance | Financial Adviser Bolton
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